Friday, 9 October 2015

Driving Fears || October Diary

Aloha Sprinklerinos,

I was right, today was a better day. Thank goodness. 

I woke up without my alarm (always nice) and without having a bunch of distressing dreams (always even nicer) and got dressed and ready in a calm, lovely manner. 

I picked up Natalie from the station and we drove up to Sheffield for my first proper book signing for the Diary. This sentence might not seem like much but it's BIG. For as long as I've had a licence, I've been petrified of driving on the motorways. I missed out on events, took super lengthy train rides and paid for really expensive taxis just so I wouldn't have to face that fear. This last month though, I've cracked it. I've done a couple of big journeys and although I don't much like it, I can do it. The sense of freedom is incredible. I can go ANYWHERE now! So, that was a high point. 

The signing itself was dreamy. Lots of smiling happy faces and lovely little chats were had. My Publicist, Hannah, is a hoot and I think knows more about Harry Potter than JK herself. I like her a lot. I have another signing today in Nottingham at the WHSmith in the Victoria at 4pm, wristbands are available on the door so do pop in and say hello. 

The car journey home was long (thank you traffic) and so Natalie and I weathered it with out of tune signing to a selection of super cheesy pop songs. Amazing. 

I popped into Matt's for dinner (oh hi Dominos pizza) and now I'm home and thinking about a bath and/or netflix. Who knows??

All in all, a much better day! 

Since it's gone midnight, I've got about as much energy as a drunk flea so won't type too much but I'm enjoying these little updates. Diaries are good for the soul I think. 



Thursday, 8 October 2015

Lonely || October Diary

Aloha Sprinklerinos,

I've been fighting it all day but today, I am lonely. Loneliness is actually my least favourite emotion and I think the one that cuts deepest. 

I woke up early and trotted out to a salon appointment and enjoyed a chitchat with my oh-so-brilliant stylist who I love. I knew I was feeling down at that point because I had horrible dreams all night that really effected me. 

When I got in I did a little bit of work but really couldn't focus and since I'd barely slept I thought I would just take an hour to have a snooze and 're-set' myself. It didn't work. I slept for a long time (I was meant to have a shoot today and it got cancelled so I had the spare hours) and then when I woke up Matt text to say it was his night with Darcy (we alternate Weds) and that he'd collect her from school. 

I tried to edit my vlog that I've now uploaded (watch it here if you like) but really, I just felt super flat. I'm vlogging today and I'm powering through but I know it's not going to be a cheerful one. Urgh. I hate this. I hate not being able to just switch a button and feel ok. 

I know in my brain that I'm OK. I know that my life is so, so full of amazing, exciting things and that I am so much more fortunate than billions of other people but my heart, sometimes it doesn't hear my brain and so we have a little problem. 

I feel all my emotions. I'm not very good and brushing things aside and moving on. If I'm sad, I'm sad. If I'm happy, I'm happy. I'm cool with this because it makes things simple. I know where I am with things, I'm seldom confused. 

So, that's today. Diaries are not places you can hide. Sometimes things just are a bit flat and you have to accept and carry on. 

Tomorrow, I'm sure, will be much better. 



Wednesday, 7 October 2015

A Good Audience || October Diary

Aloha Sprinklerinos,

It's 11.19pm and I'm listening to Heather Traska One Woman Medley's. You should check her out, she's incredible. 

So, today. A GOOD day. 

Woke up to my alarm (hurray no sleeping through) and got Darcy ready. She takes forever to do what she's meant to but I do love our mornings. We chat in the car on the way to school and it's nice to hear her thoughts and give her a little pep talk. 

Babykins dropped off and I was home and chatting to Marie on skype for an hour. We haven't chatted in a few days because Luca was in hospital (all better now) and so I missed her a lot. It's funny how you can have a best friend on the other side of the planet but still feel so close to them. 

After a bit of housework (my least favourite thing), I hopped in a cab, a train, another cab and I was at the Gleam offices in Shoreditch, London. I love being there. There is always such a buzz in the office and I feel super pumped to do this YouTube thing. 

I had a meeting about my next project that I'm working on and feel reeeeaaalllyyyy excited about it. I want to tell you all about it but I've been shh'd on that one. For now though, just know I've got something up my sleeve and you're gonna like it. Woo!

Another fun thing about the Gleam offices are when other YouTubers pop in. Today Marcus was there and it was so good to see him. We're going to make some videos together soon so if you have any collab requests or ideas, do send them my way please. I'm all ears. He's a good boy. 

The best part of my day was at Waterstones Piccadilly where I hosted a Q&A session to celebrate the launch of my 2016 Diary. The session turned more into a mini LouiseLIVE and I laughed so hard at some points that I thought I would cry. It was such a great event. I really felt like it was a super warm audience and a good crowd. I always enjoy events like this but the audience make all the difference and today they were brilliant. I feel all buzzy and happy from them. Squueeeee. I'm doing signings in Sheffield and Nottingham this week so check out my FB for more details if you're interested. 

In the car on the way home (I wasn't driving) I had the best text chitchats with Matt. I'm so glad that we are building such a nice friendship. It feels nice. 

I got in, heated up some pasta, fed the cats, put PJ's on, caught up on YouTube subscriptions, checked my Just Giving page (can't even talk about how emotional and grateful I feel about that) and here we are. I'm thinking about either having a soothing bath or falling asleep to netflix. I can't decide. 

I realise this blog post is short and sweet for such a huge day but I think this is the best my brain can do right now haha. I'm at home all day tomorrow so I think I might vlog it since lots of you say you prefer the homey videos. Keep your eyes on my Chatter channel tonight because I'm putting a video of my weekend up. Woooo!

I'm tired but happy. Life is being very good to me at the moment. 


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