Thursday, 8 October 2015

Lonely || October Diary


Aloha Sprinklerinos,

I've been fighting it all day but today, I am lonely. Loneliness is actually my least favourite emotion and I think the one that cuts deepest. 



I woke up early and trotted out to a salon appointment and enjoyed a chitchat with my oh-so-brilliant stylist who I love. I knew I was feeling down at that point because I had horrible dreams all night that really effected me. 

When I got in I did a little bit of work but really couldn't focus and since I'd barely slept I thought I would just take an hour to have a snooze and 're-set' myself. It didn't work. I slept for a long time (I was meant to have a shoot today and it got cancelled so I had the spare hours) and then when I woke up Matt text to say it was his night with Darcy (we alternate Weds) and that he'd collect her from school. 

I tried to edit my vlog that I've now uploaded (watch it here if you like) but really, I just felt super flat. I'm vlogging today and I'm powering through but I know it's not going to be a cheerful one. Urgh. I hate this. I hate not being able to just switch a button and feel ok. 

I know in my brain that I'm OK. I know that my life is so, so full of amazing, exciting things and that I am so much more fortunate than billions of other people but my heart, sometimes it doesn't hear my brain and so we have a little problem. 

I feel all my emotions. I'm not very good and brushing things aside and moving on. If I'm sad, I'm sad. If I'm happy, I'm happy. I'm cool with this because it makes things simple. I know where I am with things, I'm seldom confused. 

So, that's today. Diaries are not places you can hide. Sometimes things just are a bit flat and you have to accept and carry on. 

Tomorrow, I'm sure, will be much better. 

Toodlepip!

xx

41 comments:

  1. I know how you feel. I've been feeling quite lonely myself recently. Having a button to switch would be so much easier huh? I am sure tomorrow will definitely be better! :)

    Renee | Lose The Road

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  2. I'm sorry you feel like this today. I know exactly how you feel.
    Thank you for being so honest in this post, sometimes it helps to see other people go through this too.
    I hope the rest of your day gets better <3
    You're lovely.

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  3. I totally get how you feel! I am so blessed but some days I am just sad. I don't know why but I am. Thank you for your honest post.

    www.leenyloves.blogspot.co.uk

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    Replies
    1. My blog is inspirational, if you are feeling down, take a look sidstruefeelings.blogspot.co.uk xo

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  4. Hi Louise, feel all the feelz and remember it never lasts, you always come out the other side eventually. Could be circumstances, hormones, energies, the position of the moon lol just give yourself time and forgiveness. Be proud for powering through you accomplished loads considering how bad you felt! I really hope you feel better soon xx

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  5. I'm sorry that you feel this way today (or yesterday!). I know you know everything I am about to say, but sometimes it is nice just to hear it (or see it written down). Its perfectly normal to feel lonely, even if in your actual brain you know you aren't alone. I'm glad that you are 'letting' yourself feel lonely, rather than just pretending that you are fine and things are okay, I've recently learned that it is important to let yourself feel how you actually feel! I guess your heart is telling you that you feel lonely, and so all you have to do is figure out what would make it not feel lonely - possibly visiting one of your Aunt's or a close friend? When I feel lonely I do just that, even if I don't feel like it, or worry about imposing on someone, and then I feel miles better! Perhaps you might like to try that sometime.

    I hope you are feeling better now, and that my comment has possibly helped you in some way, and it hasn't annoyed you by making a suggestion or anything!

    Robyn :) xx

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  6. I hope you feel better soon, loneliness is horrible - after moving halfway across the country to live with my boyfriend I have been experiencing a lot of loneliness, keep powering through and it will pass :)

    Rachel - Cake Doesn't Count x

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  7. Oh Louise, i have to agree, loneliness is one of the hardest emotions to deal with. But, feeling your emotions is the best possible thing you can do, it's when you avoid emotions that things get messy and confusing! Keep smiling, i hope today and tomorrow are better x

    mauriciastone.blogspot.co.uk

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  8. Loneliness sure hits everyone regardless of how many friends they have or how many wonderful things have happened in their lives. That's just how life goes.

    But Tomorrow should be better, wouldn't it? :)

    God Bless xoxo

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  9. I agree loneliness is so hard to deal with. Hopeful tomorrow will be a better day for you! x

    A Fashion Tale // UK Fashion & Lifestyle Blog

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  10. Loneliness is by far one of the hardest and saddest emotions to deal with. Hopefully you'll wake up feeling better tomorrow Xx

    THEFASHION-JUNKIE

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  11. Loneliness is the hardest emotion, I agree. It doesn't really hit you, it just seeps into your bones and your life and seems to affect everything. Luckily you've got plenty of friends and family who love you and fill your life. It's hard but I think you slowly come to realize that even when they're not in front of you, they're still filling your life. At least that's how it's been for me. I started writing people cards/letters or making things for them because it made me realize that if I was doing that, then they must be filling my life in some important way, and that made me feel less lonely. I hope that helps. xx

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  12. I know how you feel. Loneliness is the worst thing in the world. I hope today is better for you <3

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  13. Oh I hope you feel better and I hate days like that and it feels like you never will get through but tomorrow does come and I'm sure you'll be fine. Hope tomorrow is better.

    Jackie | fashionxfairytale |

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  14. Chin up Louise! I hope things will pick up from here! We love you!

    Rachel x
    thehappybits.blogspot.com

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  15. I know how you feel Louise! Loneliness is a horrible feeling!
    Also if it makes you feel better, You've inspired me to do "Blogtober"! Thankyouu!
    Maddie~x
    maddie17102000.blogspot.com

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  16. Oh Hun, I totally get what you're saying! Sometimes there are days where you feel so down in the dumps and you can't put your finger on why but I guess it's all part of bring human ay :( I tend to feel really negative and down if I don't get enough sleep which at the moment is a lot! I'm an insomniac which also doesn't help! :) I say just go with it, let yourself feel poopy, you're totally allowed ! Pamper yourself rotten and put on a funny dvd. I'm sure you'll feel soo much better tomorrow after a good sleep! Xx

    www.mypinkpyjamas.co.uk

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  17. Louise, I really do hope you feel well soon <3 I know how hard it can be to feel so alone. And it doesn't necessarily have to mean that you are alone, because you know that you have people that love you, but even then you feel sort of empty inside and you just don't know why. Some days you'll have good days and others it's like you can't even shake off the feeling. But it gets better, maybe your just going through a time in your life where you feel lost or afraid of something, so feeling lonely on this path is very common. Try not to let it get to you, you deserve to have an amazing day everyday. <3

    http://crystallizeddaisies.blogspot.com

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  18. Chin up, love! I hate being lonely too. It's the worst, but if you just remember that you are never truly alone as you have so many wonderful friends and family.

    xoxo Mollie
    www.molliebellezza.com

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  19. I hate lonely days, it sometimes just hits you hard like a truck.

    Loneliness sucks.

    Rosy | Sparkles of Light Blog

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  20. Louise, I know it's really hard to justify why you're feeling lonely when so much good, exciting stuff is around you that you feel you should be so happy, but don't worry. It's okay, not to be okay. I hope you can tough this one out! I love you, and I really look up to you as the big sister I've never had! Stay strong!

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  21. Awk louise I feel so sad for you, but if this makes you feel better everybody gets thode doen days regardless how may people actually surround us. And remember all you readers and subscribers are always here to support you :)
    <3 <3

    https://weronikadabek.blogspot.com

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  22. I'm sorry you feel that way, Louise. There are always gonna be days when we're going to feel like this, but that also makes happy days more special!! :) Tomorrow's another day, I hope you're feeling so much better then <3

    Lipstick and Mocha

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  23. I completely understand where you're coming from! Just remember tomorrow is a new day, I hope you feel a bit better when you wake up! Sending lots of loving, squishy thoughts to you! Been really enjoying these diary entries ❤️

    dellalovesnutella.blogspot.co.uk

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  24. I hope you're feeling better soon and I understand that we all have down days. Remember for every bad thing think of at least 3 food things to outweigh it xx

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  25. Loneliness is my least favorite emotion, it just kind of creeps up on you like an unwanted guest and you're like go away! I hope you feel better about letting all of the words you needed to say out! Sometimes it helps to write it! Everyone has bad days Louise! Tomorrow will be better! :)
    xx
    Kenzie
    Behindhazeleyes06.blogspot.com

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  26. I know how you feel, we all have these moments sometimes, especially after horrible dreams!! It is a good thing to feel your emotions though, you come out stronger the other side. Love you xx
    http://art-love-fashion.blogspot.com.au/

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  27. A broken heart can be one of the most painful things to heal from and can take a very long time to heal. During these times it can feel like the whole world could light up in flames and it still couldn't compare to the pain inside.

    Of course, admitting a broken heart can be a difficult thing to do and most of us try to continue on with life masking the pain in our heart. With this pain comes many emotions. I was also trying to masked my pain, until i found help, here is my story.

    My wife and I separated 4 months ago and our children, Emily and Robert, live with her but see me every weekend. I was totally devastated and confused until a old friend of mine told me about a spell caster on the internet called Chief Nwaluta Mallam Zack who help people with their relationship and marriage problem by the powers of love spells, at first I doubted if such thing ever exists but decided to give it a try, when I contacted him, he helped me cast a spell and within 48hours my wife came back to me and started apologizing, now she has stopped going out with men and she is with me for good and for real. you can Contact on { nwalutaspelltemple@gmail.com }. If you are passing through all this kind of love problem of getting back your husband, wife , or ex boyfriend and girlfriend. contact Chief Nwaluta Mallam Zack, E-mail:{ Nwalutaspelltemple@gmail.com } Thank you so much Sir Chief Nwaluta Mallam Zack, i will always be testifying about your good work. Tom Brice, NY, United States.

    ReplyDelete
  28. I know exactly how loneliness feels and I hope that you will feel much better tomorrow!!

    awkward-overload.blogspot.com

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  29. This caught my eye in my blog feed. Sorry you felt that way but hope you feel better today. x

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  30. heres something to cheer you up :) http://www.cosmopolitan.com/sex-love/news/a47431/best-things-about-being-single-in-the-fall/

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  31. Ugh I hate that feeling like everything is okay but you still feel so down. And I always then keep telling myself that i'm actually soo lucky and so many people have it worse but it actually doesn't really help at all .. you just have to wait until it goes away and that's just how it is.. :/

    ReplyDelete
  32. In times like these, I just grab a book and read away. This is a quick and cute favorite! [Celebrating You] http://www.amazon.com/Celebrating-You-Beautiful-Person-Are/dp/1932319999/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1444470019&sr=8-1&keywords=celebrating+you

    :)

    ReplyDelete
  33. you are one inspirational woman, Louise... when I feel down, it's hard for me to get back up.. Sometimes I get in such a rut that I feel my face frowning and it makes me frown even more... thankfully, my new job has such amazing, supportive people that I'm able to bounce back faster than before...

    Ayre

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  34. This completely explains how I feel sometimes. I know my life is so so good and that I have nothing to complain about at all, but yet sometimes I feel so empty and alone. And also what you said about feeling every emotion, that applies to me so much. I really love more honest posts like these, because it lets us know that we're not alone.

    theamandaway.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  35. I loved your blog for ages and I just recently started a one by myself so if you wouldn't mind, could you check it? Thank you xx
    rachelbellebeauty.blogspot.com.es

    ReplyDelete
  36. I really admire how honest you are on here. I just read a post about how much blogging has changed and how it has become about portraying the perfect image of a perfect life. I'm glad that this blog is more honest and embraces that we all have down days. :)

    http://mypetitecloset.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  37. A broken marriage can be one of the most painful things to heal from and can take a very long time to heal. During these times it can feel like the whole world could light up in flames and it still couldn't compare to the pain inside. My name is Nicole Cottrell form UK, I have been in great bondage for almost 2 years suffering in the hands of a cheating husband, we were happy and leaving well until he meant his old time girl friend and he started dating her outside our marriage before you knew it he stopped caring and taking care of his own family to the extent that he was planning to get married to her and divorce me, i cried and reported him to his family but he never listened to any one but to cut my story short i came in search for a real spell caster who could destroy their relationship and make him come back to me and our 2 kids on my search i saw people making testimony on how their marriage where restored by Chief Nwaluta Mallam Zack i pick his email and i narrated my story to him and he agreed to help me and after performing a spell on the second day both of them had a quarrel and he beat his girlfriend up and he came home begging for me and our little kids to forgive him that his eyes are clear now that he will never do any thing that will hurt his family again and promise to be a caring father and never cheat again. I am so happy that i did not loose him to the girl. all appreciation goes to Chief Nwaluta Mallam Zack for he is a Great spell caster and to whom this may concern if you have a cheating husband or wife or you need your ex lover back again. you can as well email him on { Nwalutaspelltemple@gmail.com }, this man is a professional,Thank you Sir, i will always be testifying about your good work

    ReplyDelete
  38. I saw a quote the other day that said, 'the only way to be happy is to risk being completely honest and open' and this rings so true. I love that all your blog posts and videos are so honest, you don't pretend your life is perfect and it makes the rest of us feel slightly more human and that it's okay not to be okay. I hope you're feeling much better now, Louise x

    isobellooker.blogspot.com.au

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  39. I feel like sometimes when so many things are going well in your life you feel like you don't have the right to be sad or lonely or feel down or bleak! I know that I always get cross at myself for being sad when I have so much to be happy about but everyone has the right to their own emotions and sadness is sadness whatever your situation. Thank you for baring your soul! It's a gift to be so open!

    ReplyDelete
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Thank you for comment!
Sprinkleofglitter xxx

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