Tuesday, 8 October 2013

Motherhood || Monday Insights #4



Aloha Sprinklerinos,

Oops, I'm a little late to my own party aren't I? Apologies for that, I was prioritising. Despite telling myself off numerous times this year for allowing myself to stress so much over various things, it's not a personality trait I can change over night so I'm working on it. It was really hard to tell myself to keep the macbook closed and go to lunch with a friend or take a much needed nap, but for doing it I feel so much better.  So, here we have it, a Monday feature on a Tuesday. Heavens above! Will the world stop turning? No. Do I need to worry about this? No. Good. Glad we're all settled then haha!

If you have no idea what's going on or where you are, THIS POST explains what this feature is all about and might be worth a gander.


This week, our topic was- 

MOTHERHOOD. 


What books/websites/blogs would you recommend to a first time pregnant 26 yr old?

When I was pregnant I absolutely loved the babycentre.co.uk because it is full to the brim with brilliant resources, as well as the book 'What to expect when you're expecting' and a book Mylene Klass wrote about her pregnancy with her first baby, Ava. I now always feel very connected to her because i feel like I shared my pregnancy with her which is a little weird haha. 


I want to be a mother when I grow up but I'm terrified of the pain that comes with giving birth. Should I let it scare me out of having my own baby or am I imagining it worse than it really is?

Personally, I don't think you should let it scare you out of having a child when the time is right for you. Yes, it is very painful and yes, it's everything you see it as on TV, but then you are a mother forever. You have created new life and made the most amazing thing. Think of all the days you will be alive and then deduct 1-3 for labour and childbirth. It's worth it. 


I know about most of the changes to your body after pregnancy (ie boobies, weight gain, etc.) but how goes it "downtown"? How long does it take to recover? I know it can't be the same as pre-baby but is sex super different? SO AWKWARD!

Haha I feel weird about answering this but I'd tell my girlfriends so why not tell the internet? If you have a natural birth (like I did) then a few weeks. I had stitches so definitely a good few weeks/a couple of months. As for 'doowwwnnntooowwwnn' (and please God don't let me dad ever read this now we're talking about my sex life- ew)- everything is absolutely 100% fine. Without being really graphic, if I were to sleep with a new man (calm down, I'm not gonna), he wouldn't know I'd had a child. I can't feel ANY difference and nor can Matt. Happy days. Don't worry about it at all. Your body is magical. 


Were there ever times during pregnancy where you really struggled and wanted it all over with? If yes, how did you cope with those feelings?

If you mean wanted my pregnancy over and for the baby to be born, yes. Toward the end I was very fed up with being so huge and tired and just wanted my body back. I coped by knowing it would soon all happen. If you mean 'over' as in not have a pregnancy or baby at all then I didn't feel that way but my advice to anyone who does would be to contact their midwife and talk their feelings through. 


What were some of the things that maybe overwhelmed you about pregnancy/having a child, and what would you say to yourself beforehand to prepare or inform yourself? 

This is tricky because I still feel a bit overwhelmed or under prepared sometimes. Things that overwhelm me are mainly practical. Like is she getting the right nutrition, am I stimulating her mind enough with learning play, is she tall/heavy/strong enough etc. If you feel the same way, I can't tell you how mind-resting it is to go to your health visitor or dr. We recently went to ours and I had 30 minutes to talk about all the things I was fretting over and so she gave Darcy a good check and she was absolutely fine. I think as Mother's/carers/guardians we worry so much about things we perhaps don't need to but it's part of what makes us a mother. If you didn't worry at all, I'm not sure that would be a perfect thing either. Take solice in the knowledge that you are not alone. 


What was your biggest worry when you found out you were pregnant?

I worried that I would miscarry as it is such a common occurrence. 


Has the fact that you lost your mother young affected the way you are with your daughter? Was that a difficult thing to handle? I ask because I grew up without a father and I am afraid it will be difficult for me to be a parent when I lacked one. 

I can completely understand why you are asking this question. In short, yes, it does effect the way I behave as a Mother. Since my Mother died when I was quite young (7), I can't quite imagine what 'being mothered' feels like and so worried I wouldn't know how to take on the role. I look at other daughters and mothers and can't feel what they feel or understand their bond. I remember feeling very loved and cherished by my Mum but I can't imagine what that would feel like now. Would it be the same as mine and my Dad's bond but more feminine? Would it be like having an unconditional best friend? Would it be ever so comforting? You tell me. 

What I do know is this. I wish desperately that I could have a mother who makes me feel worthy, wanted, safe, loved and special. Because those are all the things I would want for myself, I will give them all to my daughter in abundance. To me, that is what a Mother is. 

Think of what qualities you miss from not having your Father around and apply them to your own parenting when the time comes. I think you'll do a great job. 



How do you tell your friends nicely that baby talk isn't interesting to you without hurting anyone's feelings?


Hmmmmm I think you're walking a thin line there. If you tell them you aren't interested they will be quite offended. Why not try and steer the conversation away gently and get them interested in something else for a few minutes or arrange to do something sans baby? Would you be able to ask the Dad/Grandparents to babysit whilst you and your friends have a night out or go shopping or have lunch? 

Failing that you could always try to be subtle and turn it back on yourself. Like, 'Ooohh I wish I had a baby too sometimes so I could be a bit more involved in these conversations. Sometimes it's a bit hard to imagine how you feel and what your life is like'. That way you're giving your point but not pinning any blame on them or making them feel bad (even if the wishing you had a baby might be a little white lie). Good luck!


Do you think going on nights out and things like that with your significant other is more fun and exciting before or after motherhood?

Errrm yes and no. Before motherhood you have no ties to things and you are free to be hungover the next day or come back late and not care. Once you have a child you need to be back to relieve the babysitter or you want to avoid feeling like a badgers backside after a few too many cocktails! Saying that though, because time alone with your significant other is so rare after motherhood, it's quite a novelty so you do enjoy it more than before. 


Since becoming a mummy are there any special life lessons you have learnt, as a result of raising Darcy?

Not yet but I've only been in the role 2 years so we'll see what crops up. Obviously I've learnt to put someone else before myself and to be a lot more loving and responsible but I think every parent feels that way so couldn't really say they are special to me life lessons. I'll keep you updated. 


I'd like to know if you're the kind of girl who knows what she's gonna name her child..and what made you pick Darcy? (I don't know if that's outta context, I'm just curious!)

Before I even met Matt I had chosen my baby names. I was all set when I was pregnant and had my heart set on a few things. Then, the day we got the results of the gender scan, we were driving home from dinner with my Dad and Matt said, 'What about 'Darcy'?' and it just hit me, 'That is my Daughter's name'. I can even remember the exact bit of road we were on and the exact way the sun was setting over the fields when I was hit with such certainty that Darcy would be her name. We have already decided on a girl's name for when we have another baby but boy's names are still up in the air!



What is the most gratifying part of being a mother?

Being a family. I now have my up, my down and my side to side (Dad, Darcy, Matt and my sister) and feel very secure and happy. Darcy completed that for us and we love watching her grow and be such a huge part of our lives. Awwww (feel free to be a bit sick at that).


------------------------------------------------------------------------


And that's all folks! I really enjoyed answering some of your questions and look forward to what you ask for next week. I think there are only going to be 2 more Monday Insights this year, so if you do want to ask something, make sure you get it in this week or next. 

Monday Insights #5 will be.... DAY TO DAY LIFE.

This is your chance to ask anything you like about the humdrum, mundane, daily bits and bobs that we get up to in Glitter World. If there is any small thing you have ever wondered, this is the time to ask it!

Toodlepip!

xx

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87 comments:

  1. you have a booootiful family <3

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  2. the video was so cute, Darcy is gorgeous. you're a lovely human being Louise and i love your blog so much

    http://lauracouturexo.blogspot.co.uk/ XXXXXXXXXX

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  3. So cute, I can't believe you want another baby!! You already have an adorable family, you should be on a poster ^.^

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  4. Loved reading the post...loved the video too!

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  5. I love Darcy she's adorable!
    xoxo
    http://foreveramber123.blogspot.com/

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  6. Aww I loved this post, and thank you for answering my question :) You're such a fantastic Mum. Darcy is very lucky to have such wonderful parents!

    lovefrombethan.blogspot.co.uk

    xox

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  7. Aw I adore the story of deciding on Darcy's name!
    Darcy is such a beautiful name :)

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  8. Darcy was her usual adorably sweet self in this video! Such a beautiful family.

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  9. this video is adorable!

    abi x

    https://www.facebook.com/alittledustblog

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  10. This is so cute. We can even tell from all your videos and blog posts that you're such a good mummy to Darcy, and she's gonna grow up to be such a sweet little girl (even though she's already adorably sweet!)
    I loved this post! You are such a great family :)

    OOOOH CHEESY. I never write cheesy comments either..
    lisatakespictures | fashion, beauty & ramblings

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  11. I LOVED THIS! Such a great post Louise!

    Hmmm day to day life ... Is there anything you look forward to doing in your day?

    Do you have a schedule/plan for your day since you work from home?

    Also (this is very random!) what is your most common dinner? :)

    Love Niamh xx

    niamhsdream.blogspot.co.uk

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  12. Now nearly all babies are so cute but there's something about Darcy that makes her the cutest of them all.

    http://www.clairebells.blogspot.com

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  13. Louise, I just love these Monday posts! You are so eloquent and well spoken and I really enjoy reading your take on each topic. I feel like we are becoming better "friends" (even if it's just Internet friends!) as we are getting to know you more and more with each post. Thank you so much for sharing all this with your readers! Much love from a long time reader and subscriber <3

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  14. Since you go by Sprinkle of Glitter - do you have a huge amount of glittery things in your home? I've started experimenting with glitter DIYs (there's glitter EVERYWHERE at the moment haha!) and I keep thinking to myself, as my home starts looking more and more glittery, does Louise also has lots of sparkly things that decorate her home? xox

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  15. ahh I just love your blog so much! The variety of things you post means there's always something interesting to read, and the ask Baby Glitter video was adorable as always ♥

    Holly | http://touchofcrimson.blogspot.co.uk/

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  16. I'm loving these new posts Louise! The whole pain part of birth always worried me and it still does to be honest (I'm such a coward sigh). Your answers have made me a bit more calm though. Louise to the rescue haha!
    Katie x

    theworldaccordingtokatieblossom.blogspot.com

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  17. Ahh she's so cute and chatty! "Is Alfie still your boyfriend?" "Yesss". Love her! :0

    Eve & Faye x
    Sugar Spun Sisters - A blog about cosmetics, clothes & coeliac disease

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  18. Loved reading this! I'm not even 18 yet, so still pretty far away from this point in my life, but it's still always so cool to read about because i do want to be a mother as well one day!
    My question for day to day life is: Do you find it hard to MAKE yourself to things that you know you have to do since you're not tied down to a schedule?

    x leah symonne x

    itsleli.blogspot.com

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  19. This was such a sweet post. And what you said about being a mother yourself, after yours has passed away made me cry. Darcy is a very lucky girl to have you.
    Everything you said about feeling loved and cherished by a mum is what I have with my mum. And it's only really in these past few years that I've started to realise just how lucky I was/am. My sister and I were my mums whole world. She was a stay-at-home mum and was so fantastic with us.
    I'd like to be a mother so bad, but as I get older (I've just turned 29), with no significant other on the horizon, and an unstable work situation, I'm increasingly realising that perhaps children just aren't in my future after all. And that does make me sad.

    My question for next week... You seem to go down to London a lot for Youtube related things. What does a "London day" look like to you?

    ps: I live in Northampton as well. ;) If I see you out sometime, I will try and be brave enough to say hi. :)

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  20. Do you cook or you prefer eating in a restaurant/have your food delivered/cooked by someone else on daily bases? If you cook, do you cook different food for Darcy?

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  21. Darcy is so adorable in the video! You must be a great mother! I hope you will get one big family :)

    xo Mel
    Anxiety | Depression | Panic Attacks

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  22. Aww Louise! You're a good mummy and Darcy is a little sweet heart, Matt seems like a lovely husband and daddy too! Great little family you got xx

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  23. absolutely love your blog Louise!

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  24. Great feature Louise!

    Carina
    http://www.carstina.com/

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  26. If when I have children, I can be even half the mother you are Louise, I will be elated! You are One in a Billion and have such a beautiful little family. It's an honor to be able to watch Darcy grow through your videos! xx

    http://thinkerbelle28.blogspot.co.uk

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  27. Thank you for relying to me question, made my day :) I never thought of seing things that way and thinking of the things I could bring to a child knowing what I needed when I was younger and didn't get. I think that's because I am not as positive about life as you seem to be but I am trying to be, and your videos and blog help me alot. So THANK YOU <3

    Question for next week : is it sometime difficult to have a job (I think it is your job hope I am not wrong!!!) Envolving staying at home all day and not having any contact with colleagues or a boss etc?

    Lots of love,

    sophie xxxxx

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  28. Brillant blogpost! Even though I'm an 18 year old woman with no kids, still loved it! :) XX.

    amylaurenxo.blogspot.co.uk

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  29. Hi Louise!
    I want to ask, what are the house chores you, well, aren't too skilled at? for me it's definitely cooking! and which ones come easily to you?
    Lots of love!

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  30. I've recently started blogging, and I was wondering how long does it take you to write each blog post?:)

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  31. You make me want to have children of my own RIGHT NOW. I hope one day I have a little girl as cute as Darcy!

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  32. You are the cutest mum and this video shows it!

    I never wanted to have kids, but now that I have met someone I love things have changed a little. I still don't think I would ever be a good parent though so who knows what the future holds!

    Amanda

    http://sherbetgreen.blogspot.com.au

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  33. What's your favorite thing to snack on? same goes to Darcy! I loved this post I feel like it called my nerves about motherhood even though thats not in the cards of my life right now, you've done a wonderful job with Darcy so far :) much love

    lochnessmolly.blogspot.com

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  34. AWW the part where you describe the moment you picked Darcy's name is so cute! i love that :)

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  35. What is you favourite part of your day to day life? and how is it different to your "Youtube days" so to speak?

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  36. What are some of Darcy's favourite games to play with you and Matt?

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  37. great advice Louise you answered one of my questions wonderfully!

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  38. My family and friends job hours and days are not the same (i work nights they work days) its becomes hard to coordinate time with them what would be your suggestion to make it work

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  39. My boyfriend and I just got a place and it will be available later in the week. We are furnishing it ourselves and while we have a few days I'm already thinking about the dishes to buy how to style the place. He's pretty simple, and I'm very into modern, fashionable, current things. What's a great way to blend the two and how did you and Matt do it?

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  40. I am only 19, but I am excited for the time in my life when I decide to have children. I love my siblings, parents and my cousins, aunties, uncles and grandparents and want my kids to have a loving family just as I do. Beautifully written as always Louise! xx

    http://emeraldescape.blogspot.com.au

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  41. I love your writing Louise, and what a nice post (:
    xxx from Holland

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  42. I watched this video yesterday & just can't get over how cute Darcy is! You're a fantastic mother Louise & you're making Darcy proud :). It will be so exciting when she's older & she watches your videos & reads your blog as i know she will 100% see you as a role model, she'll be very proud of mummy glitter! xo

    lydialovelacexo.blogspot.com

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  43. Such a gorgeous family! Darcy is too precious!

    - Janelle
    Little Things

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  44. Thanks for answering my question Louise! <3

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  45. The video was so cute!! My question for next Monday is....how did you manage to keep track of homework when you were at school? I always get sidetracked and procrastinate and end up not doing well on the homework. How to manage those things now, like your youtube? Thanks!

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  46. I always love reading your blog posts. A friend of mine and I were talking about how much we were looking forward to this post. I've never really been into mommy blogs because I'm not a mommy, but I just enjoy hearing what you say about your family. It's wonderful to read how loving and loved you are!

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  47. Day to day life question: Do you ever feel as if your life is becoming very monotonous and repetitive? What do you do when feeling like this? I know you must appreciate having Darcy and Matt and that you "love the small things in life" but do you ever just want to drive to see Zoe for a week and not have to worry about anything?

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  48. I loved the video you did with darcy, she is soo adorable!

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  49. i am abso-freaking-loutely loving this series Louise!

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  50. Not a question but you should totally check out Luvocracy, if you don't already know it. It's like Pinterest but you can buy the things you see(I don't work for them lol, I just thought you'd like it :D)
    Also, yaaay #Dalfie ahahah. Darcy's the cutest!

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  51. I imagine it was tough for you but also very rewarding to have your little baby glitter.
    You are wonderful!=)

    http://www.achicklitdiary.blogspot.com

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  52. Awh i love these monday insights even if it is on a tuesday! I dont adore you any less.
    It was so lovely reading this post, I constantly think how i would like to imagine answering the questions.
    I am in constant inner turmoil of when i want to be a mother, i hope that it will be anice planned suprise if that is such a thing!

    I look forward to next week :)

    Rheya, xx | PixiRella

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  53. I want to be youtuber, but i don't know what to film and I feel like I'm not being myself,do you have any tips?xo

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  54. Reading these and watching this video made me really excited for when I'm (much, much muuuch) older and have a little family of my own. This is sort of dorky of me to say but the life you have is basically my ideal life for when I'm older :)

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  55. Hi Louise!!
    I´ve always wondered what your opinion on feminism is? Because you seem like a really girly person with lots of glitter and pink in your life, and have you ever thought about that it might contribute to the "girly" society (you know that a girl is so petite and fragile and oh so weak, they only wear pink and they poop glitter etc). And you seem to dress Darcy very girly too, I´m not at all saying it´s a bad thing, it´s your own choice of course! I was just curious if your doing a deliberate choice, for example dressing Darcy in almost always pink(ish) and not so much "boyish" clothes?

    But I love your blog and youtube, you´re such an inspiration and a great role model!!

    xxxx from a swedish fan

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  56. I loved that video, Darcy is SUCH a beauty!

    http://privateempyrean.blogspot.co.uk/

    xxxx

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  57. She's so cute <3
    I'm a beginning fashion blogger please check and comment my blog www.shawsy.blogspot.com

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  58. My question is, What are the dynamics between you, Matt & Darcy in everyday life? Do you ever worry you are spending too little time with one or the other or do YOU ever feel left out when they are together? I've often wondered if its hard to see your hubby giving lots of love and attention to the other girl in his life sometimes . :)

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  59. whats your average day like being a youtuber and mother?

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  60. Hi Louise! I was just wondering,when you stay at home with little Darcy,do you bother trying to look presentable (Makeu,hair etc.) Thaaanks!x

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  62. I'm almost 20, so I've gotten a little more comfortable with the idea of having a family one day. I used to be like, "oh, we'll see. i'm not sure i want a kid," but now I'm leaning a little more towards the, "yeah, i can see it happening some time down the road." I'm in no rush to have a child or settle down, but I catch myself thinking about what I want to do with my future child (ie: bake christmas cookies or "ooh, i bet my child will look dashing in little moto boots).

    Anywhoo, really enjoyed this post.

    :) AL

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  63. Hello, your blog is fantastic, are beautiful. follow me and I follow you? Kisses and hugs.

    http://redecoratelg.blogspot.com.es/

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  64. I love you! Thank you for all you do! XO.

    <3

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  65. Hey Louise, loved the Darcy video as much as the last one (explosion of cuteness!!) and my question for next week is: In your day to day life, how often do you think about or are affected by your childhood and teenage years? I know Dan made a video called 'Cringe Attack' and these happen to me all the time, haha! (Like literally everyday, not even kidding) So do these lessen or become more unimportant as you move on with your life and have a family and all that? Or do you remember that one cringeworthy moment that happened in seventh grade that all your friends remember? I expect if these did happen, Darcy'd have a good laugh at these (in a good way of course). I know this is long, but I have another motherhood question: Were you ever scared that you wouldn't know what to do as a parent? Cause that's what i'm worried about when i think about having kids when i'm older!

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    1. By the way you're doing a fantastic job now as an awesome mummy to Darcy!

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  66. I can't relate to this topic 'coz I have no children yet BUT I enjoyed reading it! ^^

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  67. I am so glad I saw this. Dean and I have been married for almost a year and I am almost 25 so we are at the stage of talking about when to start a family. Even though we have decided on 5 years time, I was still terrified of the pain I knew would be coming! But you put it so nicely that now I am not worried, thank you xxx

    Hayleigh www.after-the-vows.com

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  68. Apparently when I was just a lil foetus, my mum had a dream and I appeared, looking exactly how I turned out, and told her exactly what my name was going to be, and that was that.
    How do you see youtube and blogging as a career? Is it sustainable/profitable?

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  69. This was a lovely insight into someone else' parenting.

    For next week, Are you the type that completes EVERYTHING on your list every day? Or are you more a 'make a list and use it as a guideline type'? I wake up every morning intending to be proactive and come 10am I'm distracted and somehow we've ended up feeding the birds!!

    http://abiogenesis6.blogspot.co.uk/

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  70. I found this really interesting ... I'm not having a baby yet... but its all v helpful for future... so ta lovely :)
    Clare Elise
    www.clareelisesparkles.com

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  71. This was so cute and she's is so adorable. Love the video!!
    My question is how do you balance everything between family & work? Do you ever feel like your so busy with one that your not giving the other enough attention at the time?

    http://ashley11988.blogspot.com/
    x

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  72. I loved your answers, especially about labour being worth it. It's also much easier the second time! In day to day life does your blogging ever cause conflict? You clearly work really hard on it all and are there times when the life/work balance becomes to much for either you or your family? Do you have ways of balancing the everyday things like being a mummy, cooking, cleaning, working or do you just take each day as it comes?

    xxx

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  73. I just watched the video and Darcy is adorable! My question is:
    How do you make sure you have enough time to do everything you need to do in the day?
    http://bits-about-life.blogspot.co.uk/

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  74. Hi Louise, I think this is something a lot of teenagers experienced and I wish I knew what to do about this when I was younger. Example as if it's happening to me: there's a boy who is kinda friends with me and we always have a laugh, each day when I talk to him I never no what to say. i dont want him to think im boring and that i had a boring day, I don't want to come across as having a boring day to day life so I never know what to talk to him about, what happened today, how was his day? Thanks for inspiring xxx ps. Sorry if I rambled on! X

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  75. What do you do to cheer yourself up when you're having one of those 'down days' ?

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  76. Did you ever feel like no boys would ever like you? I'm at a new school this year....and I was kind of hoping at least one or two boys might take an interest in me!! I'm 16 and ready for a boyfriend...but I always feel like I'm too big, or not pretty enough, or something else! Help Louise!

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  77. Great answers. The only thing I would beg to differ on is the sex thing. After baby 1 everything is still fairly elastic but after baby 2 I found down town had changed a bit more. It just meant that we had to experiment like "young uns" again, which was no bad thing!

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  78. Great post! I am really enjoying these posts you are doing with a particular topic and who cares what day of the week its posted as long as you are happy and enjoying it :)

    http://MillieMagpie.blogspot.com

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  79. Hi Louise!

    How can I stop procrastinating?

    It's getting really bad now that I don't even revise for exams anymore

    Thanks, I really appreciate it loving the posts! Sabrina xx

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  80. Baby Glitter is literally the cutest thing I have ever seen!!!! Love when you do these videos!

    kassieverythinglife.blogspot.it

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  81. "I wish desperately that I could have a mother who makes me feel worthy, wanted, safe, loved and special." This part made me cry! You're such a good mother Louise - Darcy is so happy, gorgeous and funny! I feel like you're a mother to all of us readers too - you're a very good role model and I hope you never forget that!xxxx
    chloedunkley.blogspot.co.uk

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  82. You're so wise and majestical... andBaby Glitter is sooooo adorable! XD

    creepoblog.blogspot.com

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  83. Get all your favorite alcoholic drinks on Duty Free Depot!

    All the world famous brand name beverages for unbelievable low prices.

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Thank you for comment!
Sprinkleofglitter xxx

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