Merry Monday to you! I hope you all had good weekends. Most of my focus has been on my upcoming trip to LA. I'm flying out on Wednesday for Vidcon and then to spend a week with friends afterwards. I decided to go out there for an extended time a while ago because who knew what adventure would await but now, I'm nervous.
If you have been reading for a long time you will know how much I struggle with being away from home. I resist the urge to stay in my comfort zones and regularly travel for work. For a homebird, I'm away a lot!
It's very hard to explain because I don't suffer from anxiety/panic attacks and on most trips I have a great time and love it BUT, because of the few trips/days/moments I've had where I've felt terrible, I have the FEAR.
It can be triggered by lots of things but mostly by a feeling of isolation or lostness. I feel best when I'm with people who I know really, truly care about me. Kindly acquaintances will not cut the mustard, I know they aren't going to subtly hold my hand when I'm being overly reserved and they aren't going to indulge me in half an hour of calming hotel room netflix time when I need it. At best I can muddle through and just be a bit quiet and scared on the inside, at worst, I cry and throw up- yummy.
I'm doing it though. I'm doing it for the possibilities. When you're brave and give the scary things a go, amazing things can happen. Granted, sometimes they don't, but that's sometimes a risk worth taking and I think this adventure is worth the risk. Though I probably won't admit this out loud, deep down, I do love the adventure. When I take away all the worries and concerns that blanket everything in negativity, all that's left is amazing. Eeeep.
So, wish me luck. I'm going to put my bravest foot forward and encourage you to do the same with whatever your week has in store for you. I'm nervous, someone hold my hand haha!