Monday, 23 September 2013

Relationships with Boys || Monday Insights #3


Aloha Sprinklerinos,

With any luck you read THIS post from a couple of weeks ago and fully understand what is going on here. If not, in a nutshell, every Monday you are given a topic to freely ask whatever you like about and I will answer the next week. Hopefully the topics provided will be of interest to both of us and we'll both learn something new. Plus, it's a great opportunity to be totally nosey. --- We can put a man on the moon but blogger can't centralise this!



Last week I asked you what you wanted to know about Relationships with Boys (you might want to call them guys/men etc, it's all the same to me) and so now is the time to answer all your questions. As always, I'm no expert on the matter, I'm just a woman who has led her own life and these are the answers I would give to a friend, sister or cousin. You get the jist. 

These week I've cut it down to 15 questions, otherwise we would be here for fifty years and you all have lives to lead!

Relationships With Boys


What do you think about boys being "out of your league"? Is that a real thing?

At university I studied something called the Social Exchange Theory. It suggests that everybody wants to be with someone who they view as roughly equal to or better than them. This depends on what you place value on though. Things you might value could be personality, looks, wealth, etc. So, technically, I think there might be such a thing as 'leagues', but, since they are so subjective, I would try not to focus on them and be the best person you can. Nothing is more attractive than a fun, confident, happy girl. 


Once you've friendship zoned a boy you used to like, do you think it is ever possible to go back to having feelings for him again?

Yes. What you want changes through time and circumstances so you never know how you're going to feel in the future. 


I have just started dating a boy and now my ex is spreading rumours about me that are not true to people in my school, I'm afraid my boyfriend will think its all true. Any advice on this?

Have a chat with your current boyfriend to tell him that this is happening. Explain to him that the rumours aren't true and ask him to be supportive of you during what might well be a difficult time. If your ex is mature enough (and it sounds like he isn't), speak to him calmly face to face and ask him to stop this behaviour because it is petty and hurtful. If he doesn't or he wants an argument, hold your head high, walk away and rest peacefully in the knowledge that they are lies.


How did your relationship change with having Darcy at what many would regard as a young age?

Having a baby changed my relationship with Matt from man and woman to Mummy and Daddy. It was also a very steep learning curve which I think all parents endure, regardless of age.  I think two years down the line we are back to just being man and woman to each other as parenting has slotted so easily into our lives. We were very ready to become parents as Darcy was a planned addition to our family so the age issue was much less of a big deal than it could have been if she were a surprise. 


My problem is that I really like a boy who already has a girlfriend and I've liked him for 9 months now. What should I do? 

This isn't going to sound fun but I would say- walk away. If he has a girlfriend then he is off the market and I'm afraid you can't have him. Remove your focus from him and think about the other boys you know/just have fun with your friends and family. I know that isn't going to be easy but it would be the honourable thing to do. Sorry :(


Did you know Matt was going to propose? Or was is a total surprise?

I kind of knew because we had discussed it a few months prior and I had pointed out a ring. I didn't know which night or how he was going to do it though. 


I am 18, I never had a boyfriend. This stresses me out a lot. What should I do?

Stop letting it stress you out. It WILL happen. When I was 19 I sat at my Auntie's table and cried because I thought nobody fancied me and I would be a spinster and die alone. Six weeks later I was with Matt and the rest is history. Point is, you never know what's around the corner so enjoy today and let love happen. Oohh what a cliche that was!


Do you ever think you can go back to being friends with someone you were in a relationship with if you were friends first?

Personally I don't but I know a lot of people who are. I think it really depends on the type of people you are and how/why you broke up. Good luck if you are trying to!


My question is have you/how would you get over a boy you really liked but are only friends with and are never going to be more?

This is such a hard one and I have been there. Good old unrequited love. The first step is acceptance. Sometimes you just can't have your own way. It's hard and you feel rejected and angry but ultimately, that's just the way the cookie crumbles. If you are really struggling to come to terms with it, spend less time (if not zero time) with him and cut down on contact. Alternatively, you could let yourself like someone else and you'll soon find you get over that old crush pretty quickly. I'm not saying paper over the cracks with someone new, but maybe open your mind to the possibility of someone new. 


I like one of my close guy friends, who I think used to like me a while ago but I'm not sure if he still does. What should I do? 

If you're brave- tell him how you feel. If you're not- hint. A LOT. I love a bit of risk so I'd just out and out say it. It could turn out REALLY well! 


Did you ever feel isolated getting married at a relatively young age? I'm engaged at 21 and while my friends are excited and happy for me, none of them are at a point in their lives where marriage is in there immediate future, so it's hard to relate to them (or anyone else my age) on that topic.

I totally understand where you are coming from and yes, I have felt isolated. If all your friends are footloose and fancy free, it can feel like you are living in a different world. Just remember though, you have lived in that world and chose this one over it. Eventually some of your friends will catch up to your life milestones and you can all enjoy them together. Until then, focus on all the things you love about being engaged but still make plenty of time to play with your friends (just without the naughty boy fun!). 


How do you know when it's 'right' to move in with your significant other? And do you have any tips for moving into your own place with someone?

I think I wanted to move in with Matt when we realised we were spending every day and night together anyway and that flatmates were just getting in the way haha. The first few months of living together were HELLISH. Seriously, it was nearly the death of us. Every little thing we did annoyed the other one and it took quite some patience to adjust to each others ways. I wish I had gone into co-habitation knowing that because I think I would have amended my expectations accordingly. Go in to it with your expectations low and your patience high and you'll end up pleasantly surprised. 


After being repeatedly rejected in the last couple of years, my self esteem and confidence have taken a major turn for the worse. How do I feel "good enough" and confident again?

Cheesy as it sounds, have some 'you time'. Focus on doing what makes you happy. Pursue hobbies, treat yourself to a curly blowdry, spend sunday mornings in bed with croissants reading books, enjoy life. Once you are doing this and you have learnt to love yourself and enjoy your own company, you'll feel a whole lot more confident. What is more sexy than a woman who knows what she's about?? Not much. I hope you feel better soon. You are absolutely 'good enough' xxx


What are some cool date ideas for teens dating? My boyfriend and I have been dating for 3 years, and I'm running out of cute little ideas!

When we were dating in the early days and had hardly any mulas we got inventive. We started doing this thing called the '£1 Date' (which was more like a fiver actually) and it went like this- cook a frozen pizza, slice it, put it in foil (you need to like cold pizza for this to work), take 2 bottles of fanta and put them in your coat pockets. Take tea light candles and matches, put the foil parcel in your handbag and head down to somewhere cute with a bench (we used to go to the Albert Docks in Liverpool if you know it). When you get there, set up your candles, eat pizza, chink your fanta bottles together and enjoy your date night. Cute cute cute. 


What do you think is the most important thing in a relationship? Love, compatibility, trust etc.

Everyone is different on this but for me it's trust. Not just trusting the other one not to run off with some floozy (how old am I saying, 'floozy'), but trust that what they say is what they mean and trust that what you say won't be judged. I trust that Matt doesn't think my jibbly post-baby stomach is horrid and I trust that he didn't think less of me that time I cried because I couldn't park the car. You have to trust that you can just entirely be yourself around them and also trust yourself that they can be theirs. Ahhhhh smooshy. 


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And that concludes this weeks answering portion of Monday Insights. I hope some of those answers have been of help to some of you and apologise if I didn't get to give your question some love. Hopefully next time!!

Next week's topic will be :

PHYSICAL APPEARANCE 

That's VERY broad so I look forward to seeing what you ask. Remember, you can ask anything about me or anything surrounding the topic.

Toodlepip!

xx

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165 comments:

  1. Loved this post and your insight! As far as physical appearance, I know you covered a lot in your Body Confident video, but I still struggle with loving and accepting myself. I know we all have days where we hate our bodies, but what are some steps I can take to learning how to love my shape and accepting it?

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  2. Great post Louise, as always :D It's handy to have every little question in one place and with good asnwers!!! :D

    http://crystaltipsrandomblog.blogspot.com.au/

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  3. Love this new series you're doing Louise :)

    My question for next week is - what are some good ways to look presentable when you are feeling lazy or are short on time?

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  4. Hi Louise I loved this post today! I was wondering if you ever find yourself comparing yourself to everyone else - your friends, celebrities, random people on the street - and if you do, how do you stop yourself before it becomes super negative?

    E

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  5. Love these posts Louise :)

    Carina
    http://www.carstina.com/

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  6. I love this post! Well done Louise, girls will be a lot more confident now:)

    I emailed you, please reply!

    -Elle x

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  7. I loved this, helped a bit :) my question, im not a very confident person and i don't like how i am

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  8. oh..how I loved the post.Regarding the next week topic:
    How do you start loving yourself and built confidence when appearance is important in today's social life and your personality doesn't pop up in order to make the appearance less important?
    Hugs :*

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  9. Thanks so much Louise, great post!xox

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  10. Everyone around me (friends, family etc) want me to change my physical appearance and become more attractive so that, according to them I can "get a boyfriend". I'm not particularly interested in boys and want to focus on school, how can I get them off my back?

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  11. Love this post louise!

    Child Abuse Survivor blog
    http://thelittlestladyxo.blogspot.co.uk/

    xo

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  12. Love this post Louise, Great work! x

    http://onehotmum.blogspot.co.nz/

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  13. Love this post. Been loving this series.

    Verve Hues
    Verve Hues

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  14. You are so down to earth Louise! Lovely post.
    My question for next week;
    I'm 16 and have just started sixth form. I recently put a little weight on but i think it's just my body catching up etc but i have gained a lot of cellulite. It sounds silly that something that only i can see gets me down but everytime i see it my heart sinks a little. It doesn't help that i'm short because the smallest amount of weight gained seems like an awful amount. What are your best HEALTHY diet tips. I don't want to lose a lot of weight just get back to me when i was happy. Also (if you have ever had struggles with cellulite) what do you think helps it? P.s you're beautiful!

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  15. Hi Louise!

    I'm so conscious about my physical appearance? What should I do?

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  16. Question for next week:
    My Mum wants me to get fitted for a bra soon, is it really as awful as it sounds?

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    1. I'm 21 and when I was 16 I worked in retail in a lingerie department and had to bra fit people on a daily basis! It's not bad at all ... you dont have to stand there topless or anything so dont worry :)

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    2. it is not at all. firstly, the women working there do that all the time. no one is going to judge you or even look at you weird. you will just put you hands up (with your shirt on) and the lady will messure the circumference underneath your breast. she will then give you a few bras to try out. you will try them and decide for yourself which one feels most comfortable etc. if you don't want the saleslady to see you in the bras you can just tell her that that would make you uncomfortable. but i would suggest that you let her have a look. she is a proffesional and can tell you which bra is best. good luck, i'm sure it won't be bad at all

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  17. Love this, you're so wise!! Definitely using that date idea.. :)

    Bumble Speaks

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  18. I really enjoyed reading this! Can't wait for next week!

    Do you ever feel pressured to look good? I often feel under pressure to look the best!

    www.britishbeautyaddict.com

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  19. Love these posts Louise!

    Next week's question - Do you ever have those days when you just feel fat/ugly/horrible? Do you have any tips on how to cope with those days?

    xxx

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  20. I looked forward to Monday this weekend! That's new for me haha.

    Next week's question(I'm 17 if that matters):
    - I've never worn make up and people always tell me I'm weird. I don't have any idea how to put it on or anything, because I don't have anyone in my family who wears make up.. they're mostly boys haha. But sometimes I think I don't fit in, so should I start wearing it to fit in and not get tons of mean comments about how weird I am???

    Another one:
    - I have reaaaaaally big ears :( They stick out too. I want to be able to do my hair or just put it up in a ponytail or something. How do I become confident enough to do that? Do you think a surgery would be good or bad?

    Thanks so much xxx

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  21. Great post Louise! Your answers are true to your personality and I like that your concern is genuine! x

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  22. Loved this post:)
    My queation is: Are there/have ther been people in your life or around you that thought negative about your apperance? How do you deal with it? Love your confidence, it makes you even more beautiful! ;)
    xx
    http://lisasjoy-blog.blogspot.de/

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  24. I really enjoy these posts. It's I'm impressed you can make it relateable to both teenage girls and us married, mothers. That's not something that's easy to accomplish.

    For next week - Most adolescent girls have hang up about their appearance, I know I did, and probably still do. If you could go back and say something to your teenage self, regarding your appearance, what would you say?

    http://abiogenesis6.blogspot.co.uk/

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  25. I loved this, great post Louise! xx

    http://thenightscraze.blogspot.co.uk/

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  26. This was a lovely post Louise. Thankyou so much! SO proud to be a sprinklerino~ xxx

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  27. Wish I'd have known about this! I have quite a difficult question thats plaguing me on this topic. But this is great advice Lou!

    My question is:
    I work in sport, horse stables and swimming pools (so I spend a lot of time in gym clothing, dirty or being wet) How would I get motivated to put effort into my physical appearance? I get up and go the the stables early, then cant be bothered to get dressed up to go meet friends because I know I will be going to the pool/stables straight after in the evening again!

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  28. I haven't got a question but I'm loving this series! It's been so wonderful and helpful to read about your thoughts and ideas! x

    holljc.blogspot.co.uk

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  29. I love your advice Louise! My question is... what part of you (appearance) do you love the most and why? You're beautiful inside and out :) xx

    http://laurenslittleblogs.blogspot.co.uk/
    xx

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  30. I have an ex whom i dated for 5 and a half years, and another who i dated just for a couple of months. Both of these two lads are now my best mates. I couldnt ask for two better friends, and it really helps that they already know me really well since ive dated both of them. Just because youve ended a relationship with someone doesnt mean you cant be friends. yes, its weird at first, but you either push past it or give up. its your choice, but it just shows that you can be friends with your ex's :)

    Loving the blog Louise! :) xx

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  31. http://hannahlblake05.blogspot.co.uk

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  32. Another great post Louise, you seem so happy with Matt, I'm happy for you! :)

    www.mrjoiee.com

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  33. Love reading these monday insights posts! Keep it up Louise<3
    What did you do to start accepting your physical appearance? And what would you give for advice to me when it's really hard for me to accept my physical appearance that it gets to the point I get anxiety over it?
    Love you Louise<3 xoxo Maddie

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  34. I love these monday insights! :)

    <3 Jadey

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  35. I really enjoyed reading this post!
    My question is:
    How do I stop comparing my body to other people's bodies?

    http://ellsbells99.blogspot.co.uk/

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  36. How can i be confident with my body when all my friends are super skinny and im not?

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  37. I love this post! (:
    It's so helpful! :D

    Question for next week ;
    ( I know how everyone would love to be skinny and would do anything to be able to eat without gaining weight but ... )

    I'm underweight and it just runs in my genes , but people are always saying I have an eating disorder like anorexia / bulimia , that I look sick, or something along those lines. I am perfectly healthy ( the doctor always says so ) and I eat a lot ( more than most of my friends ). How can I cope with this? Or what do I say / how should I react when others call me out like that?

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    Replies
    1. Have you read Zoella's post "Why are you so skinny?" http://www.zoella.co.uk/2011/03/why-are-you-so-skinny.html As someone who's also gotten a lot of "Oh my goodness, you're so skinny!" in my day, I thought it was really great to read it. You don't hear much about people being shamed for not weighing 'enough' (whatever that is).
      xx

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  38. Great post......i want so much to see your wedding photos, from what i can make out you look fab xxx

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  39. I am really insecure about a lot of the different aspects of my body. I know people always say to love yourself for who you are but it's really really hard. How do you feel good about yourself?

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  40. Eek this was so cute and i can so relate to all these points whilst growing up. I definitely worried what on eartch was wrong with me when i didnt have a million boys after me but as soon as i stopped caring they all came a flocking!
    I definitely think as soon as you let yourself be heppy alone, a boy or girl for that matter is just an added bonus!
    I am really looking forward to your appearance post next week!
    As a 'jibbily' girl I am looking forward to your answers and your take on how to be confident and happy with yourself.

    My question to you is:

    'Did you find it a struggle in the early days of your relationship with Matt to be totally open in a physical sense? Even the likes of getting changed in the same room - did you do that awkward changing dance of trying to do it so no one see's? Aha!'

    Love, Rheya | pixirella.blogspot.co.uk xxxx

    ps - that photo is adorable, you make me want to live a life as a wife and Mummy and do creative things and write to make myself happy - you are my girl inspo! xxx

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  41. My physical appearance doesn't matter a lot to me. Of course I like to look presentable but I tend to concentrate on developing my mind and growing on the inside as opposed to taking care of myself on the outside. I find it impossible to find a guy who feels the same way or appreciates the way I am. Any tips?

    Erin

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  42. So helpful, thank you so much for doing these posts, I know they will be helping a lot of other people out there too! My question is: When you walk past some people in school and they laugh and you hear one say 'haha look at that girl' How do you deal with that and still feel confident after it happens? Also, how do you feel confident in how you look around the guy you like? xx

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  43. great advice:)
    http://bitsaboutmoi.blogspot.co.uk/?m=1

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  44. Hi Louise! I love this, and love you :)<3
    xoxo
    http://foreveramber123.blogspot.com/

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  45. Loved this definitely took some notes away hehe, so my question is how can I accept how I look and be positive with my larger body? :) xx Emmi

    http://emmihearts.blogspot.co.uk/

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  46. Love these posts! How long has it taken you to be happy with your body?x
    chloedunkley.blogspot.co.uk

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  47. I have nominated you for the Liebster Award on my blog @ http://the411shopaholicsanonymous.blogspot.com.au.
    Feel free to check it out. :)

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  48. love this monday insights series! totally agree with you about the importance of trust!
    my question is, is it ok to only want to be seen in public with some make-up on or is it important to be able to be happy leaving the house with a bare face? hope that made sense! xx
    kooky capricious 

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  49. I'm very slim and short for my age. I don't have much of a figure and I'm not confident because of it. How do I make myself feel better?

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  50. hi Louise, my question is:

    how can i stop comparing myself to all my friends? They're all slimmer and prettier than me and sometimes it really gets me down.

    Thanks x @lilmissezzieb

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  51. Are you ever worried that Matt doesn´t like your plus size appearance? Has he ever asked you to trim down?

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  52. how do i get my self confidence back again?

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  53. Eeee this was great! Thanks for this louise :)

    my question is:

    Do you feel that appearance and heath should be considered as two sepperte things? For example, it's bad to judge someone for being fat because they're "ugly" but it's okay to judge someone for being fat because they're "unhealthy"?



    If thant makes sense :D

    I love you louise!
    CharlotteHavs

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  54. I never leave comments but I just wanted to say I am really thankful for this post. I am in a bit of a difficult situation in that I really like a boy who likes my best friend, and who I think will get together with her because she also likes him. I'm finding it really hard because I don't feel like I can tell anyone! But am trying to stay positive. Thanks Louise, this made me feel better when you said about feeling like you will end up alone but then you are now married so it made me think maybe there is hope for me ahaha x

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  55. I had binge eating disorder (that's where you overeat), but since recovery I've started gaining & losing weight like crazy. How do I stabilize my weight at a healthy place?

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  56. My friends tell my I am pretty but I don't feel comfortable the way I look. Any advice on how to feel more comfortable with the way you look? xxxx

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  57. love these lifestyle posts :-) xxxx

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  58. I have just left school to go to another one and I have lots of friends there and we get along brilliantly, but my problem is that whenever I meet up with my friends back in my hometown, they all just make fun of my body (because I'm stronger than any average person) and say that I should go on diets otherwise nobody's ever going to love me and I'll never get a boyfriend (and I'm 15, which is ridiculous). I genuinely feel confident about my body when I'm not around them and when I do see them, my confidence just goes down, down, down. Any tips on how to deal with this sort of "bullying"? xxx

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  59. I am 13 and a lot of my friends are dieting (I know we're way too young!) but they're encouraging me to do it too, and since in the past I have actually stopped eating I don't think it's a good idea. How do I say no?

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  60. this might be a bit different to other questions but how would you deal with people calling you anorexic? i understand this is probably the flip side to most of the other questions. x

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  61. I'm 16 and I want to get plastic surgery on my nose when I'm 18 because I hate it, however this scares me and I'm worried what people might say, but I don't think I'll ever be able to except myself if I don't go through with it. Any advice on not caring what others think of you and your appearance?

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  62. do you ever find it hard to not compare yourself to others with regards to physical appearance? I do it all the time and my confidence is pretty low as it is about the way i look. :(

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  63. Another great post! I know you covered a lot about this in previous videos but I was wondering how to be body confident when all my friends are stick thin? xx

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  64. i feel like all my friends are really pretty and confident with their physical appearance, but im the opposite!!!

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  65. Hi Louise, my question for next week is:
    I hate my body and although I'm not fat, I'm really not the slimmest of people out there, I go to college and feel as though I am being judged and feel quite paranoid all the time, what can I do to be more confident and feel better about myself?

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  66. This is inspirational, thanks. Right now it gives me a confident boost, but tomorrow that'll probably be gone..
    Do you have any advice on how to build confidence, because i always feel like i'm not good enough for someone else and i 'm affraid people won't like me. I'm scared people will push me away, so i push them away. Could you please give some advice on that?

    -Xx

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  67. I know a lot of people will be asking how do I feel confident with their weight but I'm at my comfortable weight but a lot of my friends aren't happy with their appearance and often say things like, "I hate my thighs " etc. I feel as if I should complain about things in return but I'm genuinely happy with the way I look! How do I deal with this? xxx

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  68. Hello! This post was very helpful, thankyou! Louise my parents keep telling me that I'm 'stunning' but I feel as though I'm very unattractive as I am 16 and have never had a boyfriend, is there any way you could help me boost my confidence please? If you could I would very much appreciate it, thank you xxx

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  69. I have quite long sideburns and I'm a really impatient person so I don't know whether I should grow them out or not. Is there any easy painless way of at least making them seem less obvious?

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  70. I loved this post, it helped me a lot as I've been having trouble with a guy lately :)
    I really would like to know two things about physical appearance, and they are:
    a) how can I convince my friends to stop dieting because they really don't need to and I really don't want them to, I've tried and it hindered rather than helped me. Bearing in mind we are only 14.
    b) I recently went through (albeit rather mild) anorexia, and since then I've felt much better, but now I feel myself slipping into my old ways, how can I stop this happening when I don't have the willpower to?

    Thank you so much, even if you only answer one of these questions I will be so grateful to you :)
    xxxxx

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  71. Let's just say I don't have a flat stomach, and if I wear certain types of clothes, it's really obvious! What clothes do you suggest wearing in order to make by tummy stick out less? Thanks xx

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  72. I liked this post, gives me some hope that I'm not forever alone. My question for next week is - how can you style an overly baggy t-shirt? like in men's sizes L when i'm a size 8, thanks :-)

    http://daisychainprincess.blogspot.co.uk

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  73. Great post Louise! It was really interesting:)

    http://x-littleblackdress-x.blogspot.co.uk

    XX

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  74. Q: People constantly comment on how beautiful my sister is and it makes me feel really awful, any tips? xxx

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  75. Hi Louise!

    I always feel like what I wear, do, look like (styling wise) is always judged badly by my family. I've struggled and get frustrated a lot because I'm not the thinnest and everything I wear just looks awful. How can I cope with spicy criticism I get everyday?

    x, nessiejudge.blogspot.com

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  76. I'm naturally very tall and very skinny...everywhere. Do you have any suggestions on how to dress to make yourself look more curvy or just less bony? love the monday insights :)

    orlajoy.blogspot.com

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  77. I don't have a question, but I have a 'contribution' if you will! For the physical appearance doodah, my view on what people look like has changed so much this year. I work in trade retail so I spend much of my time talking to tradesmen who are completely filthy and have crooked, lived in faces, but are the most humorous and genuine people I've ever met. A bloke came in today and he had obviously had a cleft lip or some kind of accident affecting the skin around his mouth, but he was so lovely and it made me realise that if I was given the opportunity to marry either Prince Charming or a plumber, I would totally chose the plumber. They're not the most beautiful people on the outside, but they're comfortable in themselves and as people and characters, they're awesome and they're the kind of people everyone should aspire to be like (not dirty or worn in, but just happy with who they are).

    peaas.blogspot.com

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  78. do you think it's good or bad to weigh yourself often, i've gotten into the habit of weighing myself daily and i can't exactly explain why but i have to?? xxx

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  79. This was a great post!
    My question for next week ... I have a lot of acne scars on my face and it makes me feel really rubbish about myself and I'm always scared people judge me for it, how can I feel more positive?

    charlotte xxx

    charlotterose8.blogspot.com

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  80. I love this post! I ALWAYS need boy advice! haha My question is: how can I stop worrying so much about what people think of me? I try to not think about it, but I get so self conscious!

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  81. my question is how do you not let negative comments get you down?

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  82. Great Advice!

    abi x

    http://alittledustblog.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  83. I really enjoyed this post! it had some great advice! My question for physical appearance:
    At school I am surrounded by really pretty girls and they all have boys talking to them, they have like loads and loads of likes on their pictures I know its really petty and kind of really girly and teenagery! But it has kind of knocked my confidence as I kind of feel really down and think that none of them really like me and that is due to how I look; I just want to boost my confidence on how I look??
    Thank youu!!!:*xxxxxxx

    ReplyDelete
  84. helloo
    my question is - when you were a teenager how did you get over feeling down about the way you looked/felt?
    I feel down about myself a lot and I would just like to know how to feel better about myself
    :) xx

    ReplyDelete
  85. I love your blog, and think you're brilliant because you speak perfect sense!

    Dickie
    www.notadomesticgod.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  86. Oh my Lanta Louise, I love your blogs! My blog{sharayah-jennifer.blogspot.com} is kind of similar to yours because I love fashion and I decided to indulge in writing about what I love instead of denying it like I used to and what I was wondering is when it comes to posting OOTD's, what are some tips to not feel so horrified when you take photos and see yourself? I'm a bigger girl, I'll admit it, and I've never been more confident in myself. But when it comes to photos...I do get somewhat self-conscious and worried about how I look. Is there any advice you have for this? I've been meaning to post an OOTD post but, every time I take a photo I just get so hesitant and worried about how it will be perceived.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Such good advice! Love reading your blog, it's my favourite one!

    www.emmatrats.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  88. I really enjoyed this week's Monday Insights. I can't wait for the next one!! :)

    My question: Is it wrong that makeup makes me feel more confident? I'm 17 and some of my friends criticize my daily use of makeup, even when it is a reasonable amount. My justification is that it reflects the happiness I feel inside by enhancing what I have on the outside. Is that right? Am I "deceiving" others by wearing makeup on a daily basis?

    Thank you Louise! xx

    ReplyDelete
  89. My question is is it bad that I don't wear make up? I am 15 and have never worn it and don't even know how! I also have never had a boyfriend and think that it is because I don't wear make up. Am I strange/weird?

    ReplyDelete
  90. Your advice is always so wise and helpful Louise, can't wake till next weeks post!
    Charlotte xxx

    http://charlottesconfashions.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  91. Haha!! Great post, thanks for sharing!:)

    Hugs, Brittany, xx

    http://polkaanddots.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  92. Hi Louise! I loved your post!! i'm really enjoying these Monday insights! I was wondering, I've suffered with bad skin (acne) from a young age and even been bullied because of it, even though it's something I can't control, are there any creams or facial masks or anything you've tried that you would recommend?

    thanks!!
    sam xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you're looking for something on a budget then the Boots Tea Tree and Witch Hazel range is really good on my acne :)
      xx

      Delete
    2. I struggled with acne for a long time and even a dermatologist couldn't help me. I don't know if it's partly due to my age, or my new routine, but I've nearly got my skin completely clear! I cut out everything that said "for acne." I use Liz Earle cleanser and toner and then ReGen Cream every morning and night. Remember that acne is sensitive skin. The more you scrub and pop and burn your skin with harsh products, the worse your acne will be. Hope this helps!

      Delete
  93. you give such good advice! my question is, what are your thoughts/tips on bodily hair? not just legs and the such but arms too. i don't want to conform and shave my arms, but i feel like i need to do?

    thanks!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I dont shave my arms and I don't see why people do! It will just grow back stubby! It thins as you get older anyway, they'll all regret it when they're older with stubbly arms! x

      younghoneyy.blogspot.co.uk

      Delete
  94. I recently lost a lot of weight (70 lbs!) and am now struggling with loose skin. I'm happy for myself for losing the weight, but I'm also upset with my appearance and dealing with the aftermath of weight loss, because I don't feel like my body will ever be good enough to be exposed (wearing sleeveless tops and dresses, etc). Do you have any tips on being more comfortable in your own skin and confident in your appearance?

    ReplyDelete
  95. My question is how can you get a friend to realise they are beautiful when they think they need to loose weight and think that they aren't pretty?

    ReplyDelete
  96. There's so much I could ask for physical appearance. I'll just have to go with how do you suggest to someone they might need to be more realistic about their size? I have a friend who is by no means fat but her bone structure is naturally set at a point she'll never be a size 8 or 10. She cries about her size all the time, wears ill-fitting clothes, only eats 500kcal a day and judges other people's figures; I know she'll be happier when she accepts she is just not a skinny person (but still looks great the way she is) but she can't get out of that hole.
    Megan x | MeganRoisinn

    ReplyDelete
  97. Louise, how do I feel beautiful again? I am 24 years old and have been diagnosed with Hashimoto's, an autoimmune thyroid disorder. It has hit me in the pretty department. Hard, .It has caused my hair to fall out, my weight to climb high w, and my skin to become dry and acne prone. I no longer have soft silky hair that used to illicit compliments. I used to have an hourglass shape that was just so feminine. I miss my clear soft skin. To be even more honest, I miss the feminine thrill of being looked at or hit on by men. I do, and try so much to fix these symptoms, but Louise, I am exhausted. This disorder has taken my energy. I'm zapped I'm also so sad. This was not the "me" I had envisioned being at 24. It all feels just so wrong. I can't get used to it.

    Is even possible to feel beautiful, without any outward beauty?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. After I read your comment I just wanted to say, please remember that you are judging yourself far harsher than anyone else is. I'm really so sorry you're going through that, and I wish you all the best. No one deserves to feel like they have nothing beautiful about the way they look. xxx

      Delete
  98. I love your date idea! Even though I'm married now, think I might try it. :-)

    ReplyDelete
  99. Love this Louise! I was wondering if you could tell me a little about how to feel better about my appearance? For some reason I really like to compare myself to other people, and often feel down because I always point out my flaws.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Hello! I have been watching your youtube videos for ages now, and I absolutely love you! I followed right away once I got a blogger account. I hope you can have a chance to check out my blog and follow me. I just started it and there aren't many posts yet but I'm really excited to write more posts.
    http://englishrose333.blogspot.com

    Thanks lovie! xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  101. I'm a very self-conscious person. How do you get over worrying about how people view you in terms of appearance? Also, how can you have more confidence toward your appearance? Thanks, Louise xxx

    ReplyDelete
  102. You're such a wise person :) I am 20 and married. We rushed it as I'm an American and he's British. For us to be together, marriage seemed the best option. I am VERY happy with our decision nearly 8 months in, but can totally relate to feeling a bit isolated and even sometimes judged for being so young and wearing a wedding ring. But then, just like you said, I remember that I made a great choice and wouldn't have it any other way!

    My question for next week is do you ever have really low days when your hair and makeup (and sometimes bone structure) just WON'T work in your favor? If so, how do you handle those?

    Thanks, Louise!

    ReplyDelete
  103. You're so wise Louise, and I really look up to you! I'm 16 and from Canada and even this far away you have impacted my life for the better :) As for physical appearance, how do you block out society's pressure to be perfect? I'm average size and slight acne, and nothing is glaringly wrong with me, but I catch myself lusting after a thigh gap (what even) and perfect skin and flat tummy and all that. I take care of myself (skincare, good food, etc) and intellectually I know I'm alright, but I have these times where I just don't feel good enough.
    I truly value your advice and opinion,
    Love you xx

    ReplyDelete
  104. My question is that I am 16 now and my boobs are lets just say not lacking and I am happy with them now but people tell me when I'm older I won't be and they will sag and this gets me down! Any tips on how to deal with this?
    Also I have bad spots and I'm so self conscious whenever anybody looks at me I think theyre staring at my skin thinking its disgusting, which it is . Any tips on spot treatment and how to cover them up?

    ReplyDelete
  105. Thank you Louise I really enjoyed this post! :)

    ReplyDelete
  106. You're lovely and amazing and I love ya! Really enjoyed this post and it made me realise a few things about my relationship. You're a ray of sunshine! Xxx

    www.liv-in-fashion.blogspot.co.uk

    ReplyDelete
  107. Hi Louise,
    Do you believe that people can truly look past physical imperfections and love someone based on their personality?
    xx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I personally believe that someones personality can make you feel more attracted to them and make you personally think that they are more attractive than you otherwise would have done. :)

      younghoneyy.blogspot.co.uk

      Delete
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  110. Great post,I'm only 16 and It really helped me out .. I know I will read it over and over again as time goes by.
    Thanks louise,you always help me!<3<3

    ReplyDelete
  111. I'm 14 and I wear make up to school, just minimal make up. People say I'm a 'tart' because I use foundation and mascara, this really puts me down. What can I say for them to leave me alone?

    ReplyDelete
  112. thanks for the post louise ! my question for next week's topic is:

    I used to hook up with this cute guy who I feel is out of my league, but I've developed feelings for him over time. We don't hook up anymore and our conversations have died down to dull and boring small talks. Would looking 'hot' in front of him get him back ?

    ReplyDelete
  113. Hi Louise, my aquestion is: I always feel down about my appearance eventhough I have quite nice eyes and hair, I worry that I wont get a boyfriend, how can I feel more confident and seem more pretty. Thank you, your last post was very helpful xxx

    ReplyDelete
  114. Love this post! For next week: How can you feel more confident about the way you look? No matter how hard I try, I'll still compare myself to others and can't be happy with the way I look, any ideas? Much love <3 xxxxx

    http://dellalovesnutella.blogspot.co.uk/

    ReplyDelete
  115. Great post Louise! I could really relate to the question about stressing over never having a boyfriend. You've really calmed me a bit over that (thanks to the person that asked that question too).
    Katie x

    theworldaccordingtokatieblossom.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  116. Hi Louise,loved this post. My question is,how did you deal with teenage skin. I wear makeup but I'm alwways very concious of my bad skin,what should I do?x

    ReplyDelete
  117. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  118. How do you not feel conscious about your weight? I'm 17 now and I'm at my heaviest, but I'm not "fat". I just hate not being able to wear belly tops and tight dresses and pretty things.. Thanks Louise! x

    ReplyDelete
  119. Love these posts Louise!

    lovefrombethan.blogspot.co.uk

    xox

    ReplyDelete
  120. Hi louise :) I love these posts, it's a brilliant idea. My question is how to feel confident on physical appearance? I always feel that I'm not pretty enough and don't have a nice enough body, I'm constantly being told how pretty my sister is and i completely agree and also think all my friends are all pretty and can't help but feel that i'm the ugly one, if you know what i mean?

    ReplyDelete
  121. I was wondering about how to feel confident with weight? I want to loose weight but i don't know if i am just being unreasonable and people say to me 'you're slim don't be silly' or 'i wish i had your thigh gap' but when i look in the mirror i can't help but feel chunky... any tips? xox

    ReplyDelete
  122. I was wondering if you had any tips for photographs? I don't know if i'm just being over sensitive but I always hate how I look in photos (and in general if i am honest) and it's to the point where i don't really want to take them, but would still like a nice photo? Do you have any tips on how to look good in photos or be confident enough for them? :) love you xox

    ReplyDelete
  123. Hello! I was wondering at what age did you begin to really see yourself becoming more confident with who you are as person and your physical appearance?

    ReplyDelete
  124. These posts are great! Thank you so so much<3 Do you have any advice on stretch marks?, I know its a bit awkward, but hey ho>:) xxx

    ReplyDelete
  125. On physical appearance, it appears it's the way someone perceives what their idea of 'perfect' is. I'm a size 16/18 and I hardly ever feel down/depressed because of my size, I enjoy being curvy. My fiance also prefers my curvier size and often compliments me. People may believe it is because he is my fiance and he 'has to say those nice things' but he constantly says how he does not like skinnier bodies. I see nothing wrong with skinnier bodies as everyone is different and is what makes us unique. What annoys me is how someone who has body issues uses projection unto other people. This girl in my college class is no bigger than a size 10 yet insists on going to the gym ALL week and losing weight, attention-seeking in my opinion. I ask her what she considers 'fat' and she comes out with a size 12 whilst I'm obviously bigger than that!! What does she view me as then? A whale! God knows why she thinks this but I believe it's because she has deep-rooted emotional and physical issues about herself, she is insecure about her weight so she will try and make other people feel bad about themselves when really I hardly ever think about my body except from the few occasions where I will feel a little annoyed that I'm bigger boned when I eat properly and I walk everywhere. It's all down to genes and the metabolism. I have friends who are sized 6-10 who eat all the sugary crap of the day. In some situations, in my opinion, you are NOT what you eat. It really is disgusting what is viewed as 'overweight' or 'fat' nowadays and it is all because of brainwashing by the media.

    ReplyDelete
  126. I am an incredibly self-conscious person and I am always thinking that other people are judging me. I try to tell myself that they're not and there's nothing to worry about, but I just can't stop being nervous and insecure. Do have any suggestions so I can stop caring so much about what other people say about me?

    ReplyDelete
  127. When people make mean comments, how did you learn to look past them and ignore them?

    x Ashley

    http://ashley11988.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  128. This was quite fun to read! I felt like I could relate to several of the questions which made it all the more enjoyable. I'm also curious to see what the physical appearance post will hold. I have a feeling you'll end up addressing the insecurities that many girls/women (including myself) harbor.
    Your responses are such a joy to read mostly because it seems that you're in such a happy place! You're a true inspiration Louise!
    Amber
    Lovely Notions

    ReplyDelete
  129. I love your posts! They just make me so happy every time! :)

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  130. I really love this post series Louise, such a great idea to answer questions on different topics every week! :)
    i've nominated you for The Versatile Blogger award, take a look http://sparkle-bug.blogspot.co.uk/2013/09/the-versatile-blogger-award-ive-been.html :)
    xoxo

    ReplyDelete
  131. such a great wee idea!! :P

    ok my question for this week is
    - what is your biggest gripe about personal apperance? - i.e. not tucked in shirts, really bad colour cooridination, see through trousers (it's just not nice people!!)

    thanks Susie xx

    twittatwoo.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
  132. I recently lost 70 lbs and my family was so happy and supportive, but I have begun to put a bit of that back on and they are starting to make inappropriate comments. I know they are just coming from a place of concern but it really bothers me. How do I respectfully tell them to mind their own business?

    ReplyDelete
  133. Hey Louise! I've always been big for my age and my height, I want to be able to dress for my size (20) but I struggle to do so and feel confident in myself. All of my friends are size 12 or below, so obviously I look huge next to them.How do I make myself feel happier and dress for my size? Do you recommend any blogs that I could read too? Xo

    ReplyDelete
  134. I love these posts, it makes me realise I'm alone in all these struggles!

    Next week's question: All my friends comment about how they don't like something about their personal appearance, and I also tell them they are perfect, but how can I get them to believe me? And also, if I ever say something, for example I'd like to lose a little weight, they tell me to stop being stupid and go on about their problems, but it makes me feel like I can't have any problems and have to look perfect all the time, how can I deal with this? xxx

    ReplyDelete
  135. Hi Louise,
    I just want to say thank you for your answer to "18 and never had a boyfriend" because I am in the same boat as her but i'm 19 but I look 14 and I'm really skinny and can't help it. Honestly your answer gave me relief and happiness (i was on the verge of tears).
    Thanks again!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  136. I'm not a q&a asker by nature, but I guess my question to you is about feeling comfortable in your own skin. I have had severe hormonal acne for nearly 5 years now thanks to my birth control, and most days I just want to take my face off, and all other days I just want to cry. I'm going off the birth control, but I know it will still take time to heal and be normal again, and the damage may well be done, I've been to doctor after doctor and tried everything they suggested save accutane which I'm told is a horrible drug. I'm married and my husband still thinks I'm beautiful, but I just can't see it anymore. Any advice on how to accept this hand I've been dealt?

    ReplyDelete
  137. My question, I waver between loving myself and being the most vain person ever bordering on obnoxious, and feeling like the most disgusting person ever, how can I keep a balance between the 2? xx

    ReplyDelete
  138. This was such a helpful post!
    My Question: I'm really skinny and people often call me 'anorexic' and 'twig' and it really puts me down and makes me feel out of place, how can I stop getting hurt by this?xxx

    ReplyDelete
  139. Hi Louise! My question for next week is - in your opinion, how important do you believe men's appearance is? I have been with my bf for 4 years now, and while I do care about him, I find myself less attracted to him physically. People sometimes hint that i'm out of his league, or that he's chubby, etc. And that makes me very sad and ashamed. I don't want to seem shallow, but it's one of those things that when you have it, you don't think twice about it, and when it's missing, that's all you can really think about. Is this relationship doomed to fail? or is there a way to come to terms with it?
    I hope you can choose my question, thank you!

    ReplyDelete
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    ReplyDelete
  141. I really enjoyed reading all these answers. The cute date idea was really nice. I feel my boyfriend and I's dates are now getting a bit boring and repetitive!

    Hayley
    Water Painted Dreams
    xxx

    ReplyDelete
  142. Whenever I start to like a boy, I love the beginning stages of flirting and all that, but when I ponder what he might think of my body (I'm short, big-chested, and have a tummy :( ) I always end up backing away from the relationship because I'm afraid if he were to ever see me in a bathing suit or something, he'd run away fast, ya know? Do you have any wisdom on this subject?????

    ReplyDelete
  143. Hello Louise, you beautiful lady!

    I don't really have a question about next week's topic but I do have a request. I've made my first appointment to see an eating disorder specialist and I'm anxious/scared/terrified. Would you mind thinking of me Wednesday evening and sending positive vibes my way? I'm so scared but I know this is something I need to do..
    anyway.
    I love your blog. As always, you never fail to inspire me! <3

    ReplyDelete
  144. you always make me so happy and positive <3

    ReplyDelete
  145. This was just a fantastic post. Loved it


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    ReplyDelete
  146. For next weeks topic, how do you regain confidence if your weight/size makes you feel self conscious? I don't feel comfortable in my own skin and it prevents me from making friends with people I deem far more attractive than me and I can't even think about getting into a relationship with anyone because I feel like nobody will ever really be attracted to me, or people might approach me as a joke (this has happened before and it was horrific and so upsetting).

    ReplyDelete
  147. For as long as I can remember I've never been happy with my weight. Just today I remembered a Halloween when I must have been about 8/9 and crying because the costume my mum got me made me look 'fat'. I'm only 14 and most of my friends are the thinnest people I know! I guess I just don't really know how to feel.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If you don't mind me commenting on that, because I know exactly how you feel, being skinny isn't the thing that makes you beautiful, but being confident is. I know that weight thing is a really tough one, I'm a lot bigger than all of my friends although I wouldn't say I'm fat (as others have done so far) but what always really helps me is thinking about women like Marilyn Monroe who everyone still thinks of as utterly beautiful being a UK size 12. Many people would say, that's too big today, but she was glowing because she loved herself and that's not too big at all :)

      Delete
  148. That is one amazing post. Regarding all my friends, I was always the problematic one when it came to guys, either because they didn't like me, I'm too problematic or too demanding or just not one of the cute small girls they are. It took me ages to get to terms with me not being one of them physically and being okay with most guys around here not liking me for that, but hey, I wouldn't want one who doesn't love me for who I am anyways!

    xx

    www.kazetime.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete
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