Today is a day for limited pep and zizz (I'm writing this a week before you see it, such is the nature of scheduling your shiz) and I thought I had nothing to offer. Until, that is, I wrote on my Facebook Page about my mojo loss and somebody asked me to write about Motherhood.
I contemplated writing a beautiful ode to my child and about how Motherhood is my defining moment of glory and how I now feel at one with the universe but then realised that would be very short lived and a load of tosh.
Instead, I thought I would take a light hearted approach and share with you 5 things that have been revealed to me since bringing that little person into the world.
1. An Hour Is An Eternity
Back in the olden days, before I had made the miracle of life etc, an hour could tick by in an instant and I had no idea what I'd wasted my time on. Flicking through trash TV, wallowing in the bath, fiddling about with emails all seemed like hour long jobs to be luxuriated in. Fast forward to an era with a small dependant human and you find that when they give you an hours rest bite (all hail nap time), you become some kind of productivity typhoon. Dishes get done, laundry is folded, emails replied to, showers, hair, makeup ticked off the list and all whilst having a conference call with your manager. When you are deprived of so much time, it's almost incredible what you can squeeze into 60 focused minutes!
2. You Do Not Need An Alarm Clock
Remember the days when you had to use a little machine to wake you from your slumber? I don't. Now I have a much more organic alarm clock called Darcy, who promptly on the dot of 8am will shout, 'Muuuuuuummmmyyyyyy'. Previous alarm tones featured, 'waaaaahhhhh' and 'urrrr-urrrr-urrrr'. I prefer this upgrade but look forward to it installing a 'snooze' mode. So far it is basic yet effective.
3. You Learn A New Language
I don't know about other Mama's out there but I find myself constantly moonlighting as Darcy's official translator. Her gobbledegook makes perfect sense to me. 'When ee weak oop and the tangold an miwlk an ceweal', clearly means, 'Mother, when I wake up I'd like to watch Tangled and have some milk and cereal', but combine that with her chattering at high speeds whilst jumping about makes for a lot of, 'oh she means..'. For now, I quite enjoy my role but do hope she doesn't need me forever!
4. You Can Do Anything One Handed
A classic. Need two hands to carry your baby, handbag, car keys, grocery shopping, nappy bag and push a trolley back to the trolley-bay? No. Absolutely not. You can do all of that one handed whilst balancing baby on hip and look glamorous. Ok, maybe not the last one (queue one red raw hand, sunglasses dangling perilously from the back of your head, almost being choked by your oh-so-fashionable scarf and some dribble/snot on your shoulder) but still, it can be done.
5. You Have So Much More To Give
It's been an 18 hour day, there is food mashed into the cream carpet, the washing machine is beeping to be emptied, you're wearing your grey PJ bottoms for the fourth day in a row and you haven't had a moment to think let alone indulge in a bit of instagram or Pinterest. And then your sweet baby cries and you feel like crying with them. Instead though, you tenderly pick them up and make those soothing 'shushing' noises you can't help but do and feel a huge surge of love for the little rotter that takes up all your time, effort and money. Just when you were about to throw in the towel, you don't. You had more in you than you thought.
I'd be really interested if any of those rang true with you or you have experienced anything similar. Apologies to those of you who this post doesn't apply to, hopefully it still gave you a warm fuzzy!
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