Saturday, 16 April 2016

Motherhood at 5


Aloha Sprinklerinos,

Earlier this month, my tiny baby turned five. An entire five years of living. Half a decade. 


When I look back, 5 years feels like nothing but also a lifetime. So much has changed. 

Over her birthday I thought about the day(s) I was in hospital bringing her into the world, the hopes I had for her future and the things I learnt during that time. I found delivering Darcy the hardest thing I've ever done. No ifs or buts, child birth and the postpartum recovery can be very rough. I think about it every year and feel little pangs of panic and trauma but each year she gets older, it feels a bit easier. This was the first year I felt really unsupported in those feelings but I know in time I will grow and strengthen and they won't feel so painful. Life is funny isn't it? You have to do the hardest thing you can ever imagine to get the best thing you can ever imagine. She is the best. 


(Thank you so much to my friend Zoe for taking these pictures. I plan on printing some for the house)

Watching Darcy enjoy her day and feel so special was magical. This is a beautiful age. I love that we can talk about fairly deep things, I love the way her mind ticks over and mostly, I love that I can feel our bond deepening. I'll always be her Mother and I'll always love her but honestly, I adore this child. I know we'll be friends when she's an adult. We have similar personalities and I feel like very often I can understand her emotions and thought processes not just because I'm her Mummy and care giver, but because my mind works the same way too. I just get her. 


When she was born I optimistically hoped that our life would be that of the classic family and we'd all eat croissants in bed on a Sunday morning and laugh over dinner each night (and yanno, other non food based activities haha) and all be merry and bright. As you know, life didn't pan out that way and we are now a team of two, Darcy and Louise, on life's big adventure. 



I thought that as I went from parenting team to solo Mama that I would flounder. I thought I would fall short and not be able to give the nourishment that is required. A lot can change in a year. I feel like this has been my best year of Motherhood and that I've truly found my footing with it. When I walk past the Yummy Mummy's at the school gates, I don't feel inferior or like I'm pretending to do an OK job, I feel equal. I am doing a good job. 



(The gorgeous dress Darcy wore for her birthday was from Mothercare and these gifts are from Alfie and Zoe)

I always knew I would love being Darcy's Mother but I didn't always know I would love Motherhood. Does that make any sense? You can love so much to care for your own child but sometimes the role of Motherhood can be a title you don't want to take. It bands you in this big club of navy and white striped tops, sensible handbags with enough space for a bento box, endless chats about who's had what sniffle when and the constant arranging of meet ups at garish soft play centres. For a while I mocked this elite group and steered as far away from it as possible. And then, something changed. 

(Sneak peak of the incredible cake I ordered from the cutest bakery near my house. I'm obsessed with the colours, the glitter, the details. I'll upload the photos of her party soon and show you it more!)

(This is definitely being printed, framed and hung somewhere)

I realised life in the group is better. Motherhood is a privilege. Being with other Mother's is a joy. Their children play with your children, social development heightens, your calendar is filled, your happy memories are plentiful. Darcy loves all the fun we have with her little friends. We go to farms, have parties, have friends over for dinner, go swimming, play in the park and more. She does all these things with children her own age and you hear nothing but giggles and chatting and sweetness. 

For me too, Motherhood has been a saviour. It has been support and kindness and inspiration and motivation. I even have a penchant for a navy and white striped tee. What can I say? They're stylish AND practical haha. 


I made Darcy but Darcy has been the making of me. She has taught me a new kind of love and allowed me to find a new kind of strength. I walk with my head high and my heart full and one day when she's big enough, I will tell her how she made my life complete. 

For now though, she is five and I will let he be that. 

Happy Birthday Darcy, my sweet baby girl. 

Toodlepip!

xx

62 comments:

  1. This made me so happy, Happy Birthday Darcy!

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  2. What a beautiful thing to read. It's wonderful to see how you've progressed not only as a mother but also as a person. You are a fantastic mother to Darcy and the two of you have a perfect relationship which I'm sure will continue to blossom as she grows! I do hope she reads this blog post when she's older. You're an inspiration Louise xx

    Www.rutheliadreams.blogspot.co.uk

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  4. O my goodness I really do just think that you have the best attitude to parenting that has ever been, along with my own parents! She is adorable and a huge high 5 because I know that it is not easy. My mum had my sisters when I was 11 and 16 and I know how hard it is. I know that you have had. A lot of changes this year but you are doing a fabulous job (I don't think mothers get told that enough!)

    Hopefully one day I will have a little person to look after too. Well maybe, I'm 28 and still very undecided and still very single. If it is meant yo be then I'm sure I will. Gosh this is just turning into a self help comment for myself. LOL

    Glad you had such a precious day!

    Sophie xx
    www.sophieblunt.com

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  5. Aw I'm so happy for you Louise and Darcy xx ��
    S xx ❤

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  6. This is adorable, happy birthday Darcy! I love the photographs at the end with the balloon xx

    alicered.co.uk

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  7. This is such a lovely post! Crazy how quick Darcy has grown. Love the pictures too, happy birthday Darcy! xx

    www.itsmeganelizabeth.blogspot.co.uk

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  8. I absolutely love all your adorable posts about Darcy <3

    theamandaway.blogspot.com

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  9. This was such a lovely post to read ! 💖💖
    Bellebeauty.org/blog xxx

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  11. Happy Birthday Darcy! Louise you're such a great mother! And I love the Sylvanian Families, I collected them years ago as a child and they're the best :)

    http://iamreeseroberts.blogspot.com/

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  12. I loved reading this post! It's very heart-warming and the pictures are beautiful. I did have to stop myself from crying as I felt my eyes well up- I'm not too sure why, I guess I'm just an emotional person and this really tugged at the heartstrings! I hope the next five years are as amazing or even better than the first five. <3

    Steph/Love Steph x

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  13. Well. That last little bit almost made me cry! The photos are LOVELY especially the ones with the big balloon... you've done so well Louise. And I know that you don't need me to be affirming your mothering skills, but I think it's also nice to have the compliment.
    Lucy xoxo
    http://lucyannblog.blogspot.co.uk

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  14. I still can't believe how grown up she looks! What a lovely post Louise xx

    DeelyBopper

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  15. What a lovely post! You and Darcy are the sweetest family unit! Louise, you are doing a wonderful job brining up Darcy! Lots of Love to you both! Robyn xx

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  16. What a beautiful post! It's so lovely to see you thrive as a single mother xo

    emsirose.blogspot.com

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  17. why am i tearing up!!! your and darcy's bond make me so excited to grow up and have my own little kiddies and honestly i can't wait <3

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  18. This is actually so beautiful, thank you Louise ❤️ I can't wait to one day become a mother x

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  19. Even though I am only fifteen, I aspire to be a mother like you Louise.

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  20. This post made my heart happy. I love seeing Darcy grow you are a wonderful mum and its brilliant reading about how much love you give each other. I'm seeing the same thing in my friend and her son its a wonderful bond! Giving you all my love Louise as you make me smile each day! Also happy birthday again to Darcy! She looks marvelous in that dress x

    Rai | utterardour.blogspot.com

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  21. Happy Birthday Darcy!! Happy Best Mommy Louise that a little girl could ever have!! Making sweet memories is simply priceless! Darcy will cherish you forever !!! Job well done and still doing Louise!! Thanks for sharing with us.

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  22. This is so sweet! You two have the most amazing relationship! Happy Birthday Darcy! xxx
    http://www.samanthafrances.co.uk

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  23. What an adorable post - it's so nice to read posts like these, they're so honest, true and refreshing!

    Emma | HarmonyBlaze.co.uk

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  24. She is absolutely adorable!!! What a lovely post. You have the best ability to get your emotions written down in a way that so I can completely understand what you are feeling.

    imperfectlyrachel.blogspot.com

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  25. This post filled my heart with so much happiness, and happy (belated) birthday Darcy!

    radiantblossom.blogspot.com

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  26. Happy Birthday Darcy! My son is 5 in August, and I can relate so much to this post.My son is the joy in my life, but the past few years have been HARD! Becoming a mother is the single hardest thing you will ever do, you really cannot prepare for how much your life is going to change. I did it aged 20, and I have been a single mum since my son turned one. But we really are a team, and we are stronger because of that, wouldn't know what I would do without my beautiful boy now!

    http://www.makeerinover.co.uk

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  27. I hope that she had a wonderful fifth birthday. When my eldest was four I become a single mum too and you know what it was the making of me, just me and her against the world. Enjoy your adventures making memories with your beautiful girl x

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  28. I really love your relationship, you are very cute and I can feel how much you love her and how loved she must feel. I just want to say that you must enjoy your time together, cause she will grow up, and I am quite sure you are doing it well x

    Zoel Hernández | zoelhernandez.wordpress.com

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  29. This is the sweetest post ever. Your pictures make my heart warm - Darcy is a beautiful girl and I wish her a happy birthday! :) <3

    It's Me, Maggie | http://itsme-maggie.blogspot.com/

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  30. This is amazing!! I've always wanted to be a mum. And now I'm even more excited for it in the future. I hope I do as well as you have and that you continue to love being her mom. She's gorgeous

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  31. This is such a beautiful post Louise! And so encouraging to those of us that have yet to embark on motherhood and not quite sure how it'll pan out.
    Happy Birthday Darcy!
    x

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  32. She is such a beautiful girl, this post is so amazing Louise

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  33. Really loving the amount of blogging you've been doing lately! My daughter has also just turned 5 and I love to read your motherhood posts, you're a very inspirational lady xx
    http://art-love-fashion.blogspot.com.au/

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  34. Aww that is so lovely louise :):) I can't believe she is 5 now she is growing up fast you are an awesome mum to darcy

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  35. This is so beautiful! Darcy is gorgeous and she's very lucky to have you as a mum. You have never given less than 100% and it's been amazing to watch her grow over the years.

    Erin | beingerin.com

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  36. She is absolutely adorable and what I love most about your blog is your honesty. Darcy is very lucky to have you as her mummy. Sammie.

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  37. This was beautiful, honestly!
    The only thing, and in saying this I don't want to offend, is that saying you are a team of two sort of gets rid of her dad in the picture, which I find is unfair when he stills gives her time. It makes him seem like he walked out, and I don't know your personal life, but it doesn't seem like that at all. I just don't want people to talk about him negatively when he isn't a bad person at all!

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  38. Darcy is gorgeous! She's so grown up haha! Happy belated birthday Darcy x

    TOUCHOFGUCCI // BLOGLOVIN

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  39. My Mum & I are best friends and always have been. I can guarantee that when Darcy's older, you and her will be the exact same! :) X

    Amylaurenxo.blogspot.co.uk

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  40. I love the Sylvanian Families...

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  41. I can't believe that Darcy is already 5!!! This is such a beautiful post Louise xx

    www.monochromeroses.blogspot.co.uk

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  42. Oh well I'm not crying you are! This post is so beautiful and I love the attitude you have on parenting. I hope I'll have the same one if I am a mum some day! Happy birthday Darcy!

    onmywayacqua.blogspot.com | Acqua xx

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  43. Can't believe Darcy is 5! She is growing up so fast and before we know it she will be a beautiful woman just like her mummy!!

    Elsaunders.Blogspot.Com

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  44. Louise, I might actually be crying. This is so beautiful and warm and full of love. I am so glad that such bonds can exist in this world and watching a relationship so strong develop is so beautiful. You must feel so blessed. And the pictures are just gorgeous, like your words.
    I hope you have a great day :)

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  45. This post is all kinds of inspiration. I love how honest you are and these pictures! You are both just a great little team and you can see the sparkle between you both, much love!

    Hannah x
    www.hannahvictoriaa.com

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  46. Hi Louise, I'm glad you had a great day on Darcys birthday and I hope she got loads of wonderful gifts. I also can't believe Darcy is a full 5 years old, it only feels like yesterday I saw Zoes video saying that she had finally decided to make an appearance to the world and I'm absolutely positive that one day Darcy will grow up to be as pretty and as successful as her mummy.
    Ps. If I were you I would definitely print them pictures coz they are just the cutest thing in the whole universe.
    Love you Louise
    Alice
    xx

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  47. Such a lovely post! Your's and Darcy's bond is so special :)

    Hayley | writeaboutbeauty.blogspot.co.uk

    xx

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  48. I can remember baby Darcy like yesterday where has the time gone? She has grown up from such a beautiful baby to an even more gorgeous little girl!

    Meme xx


    New Post:
    A Day In The Life Of London
    www.thedayinthelifeof.co.uk

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  49. Aw :') She's so grown up!

    Natalie Ann xo | Petal Poppet Blogs ♥

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  50. This is such a lovely post! It's going to be so precious for Darcy to read all of this when she's older ♡

    (http://zoejoyxoxo.com)

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  51. This is the cutest thing (but I think I say that in all my posts about Darcy and you). I think being 5 was my favorite year so I hope this is her favorite year thus far!! :)
    x Kenzie // Kenzieblogslife.blogspot.com

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  52. Now and again you read things that make you want to be a mum immediately rather than....one day. I loved reading every word of this.

    Hayley // www.warmvellumbookshop.co.uk //

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  53. A happy belated birthday to Darcy! It looks like she had a great time, you both look lovely! I do hope your print these photos out and hang them in your home because they came out beautiful!

    Rosegold Fox

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  54. this is one of the most sweetest and loveliest posts, its making me want to become a mum now!

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  55. This is the sweetest post ever! I can not believe that Darcy is five, she is such a beautiful little girl.

    Jen| http://beyourownkidofbeautiful.blogspot.co.uk

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  56. Oh my Louise you've made me tear up (happy tears) on the bus! Such a beautiful post. Can't believe Darcy is 5 already - I still remember Zoe uploading an update for you when she was being born!

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  57. This post got me right in the feels. What an amazing thing it is to see Darcy grow before our eyes! She's the cutest and I wish her all the best in this world!

    Evelin Kivi Blog

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  58. Louise, you seem like such a lovely person and an even more lovely mother, and I wish you and Darcy nothing but happiness and glitter and love in the years to come.

    Happy belated birthday Darcy!

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  59. Happy Birthday to Darcy! This is so sweet I am holding back the tear, just beautiful! Sophie x

    stylestarsandsparkle.com

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Thank you for comment!
Sprinkleofglitter xxx

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