The First Trimester

Oh Hai,

I've got 15 minutes before I have to dash out the door to collect Darcy from school and rather than do the 85 jobs I have on my list (ring the solicitors, load the washing machine, open the post etc), I thought I'd write this blog post!

With the end of the first trimester in sight (we had our official NHS 12 week ultrasound on Monday which gave us an official due date of January 1st!) I wanted to write up my thoughts and feelings on how it had been. Partly because I know when you find our you're expecting, your favourite thing to do is read anything and everything on the matter and also because I want to look back on this and have captured the moments.

I'll start by saying my first trimester has been a healthy one and that's the most important thing. I had a small bleed at week 11 which felt frightening (should I talk about this further or is it TMI?) but after an emergency scan I was reassured and baby is fine.

I have suffered a lot less than many women. My friend's Marie and Reb both had HG and so comparing my experience and calling it 'bad' feels quite wimpy!

Here's how I felt -

Initially, very overwhelmed. Although we'd discussed and planned to start trying for a baby in Summer, by Spring we were pregnant and I was shocked how quickly it had happened. I felt unprepared and struggled to wrap my mind around the concept. That sounds so silly considering I knew I wasn't being careful with contraception, I knew we were going to try in May and I knew I wanted a baby but still, I felt overwhelmed. A few weeks on though and I'm fully onboard!

Tired. OMG the tiredness hasn't been like, 'oh I'd love a little snooze later', but like, 'shit me I might literally lay down on the floor of Tesco and sleep for 4 hours in a minute'. Thankfully I work from home and Darcy is in school so I've been able to take plenty of rest hours but I can't imagine how challenging it must be for people who work in out-of-the-home environments or Mum's of pre-schoolers. I tip my hat to you ladies!! I still don't feel like I'm back to my pre-pregnancy energy but I'm not napping every day and I'm hopeful that'll get better.

Sick. Whilst I've rarely actually been sick, I feel sick every. single. day. Morning til about 2pm I'm fit as a fiddle and then come the afternoon it's game over. By evening I can't be in or near the kitchen because the smell of everything tips me over the edge and I can't remember the last time I fed the cats their stinky meat pouches! (Don't worry, Liam feeds them!). It's the least fun feeling sick. It sucks the joy out of everything and leaves you grumpy and sloth like. I've noticed it's eased off a bit this last week so touch wood that continues please. Ginger biscuits and regular little dry snacks have helped. I've also been drinking so, so, so much water which I think has helped too.

Hormonal. Sometimes I have felt so low for a few days in a row and googled pre-natal depression because it's so unlike me to feel so down. I think the nausea and tiredness held me back in day to day life and that sucked the joy out of things, making me feel super deflated. I couldn't seem to get any buzz or zizz and just felt quite lonely and grey. I don't think I realised how rubbish I felt until I didn't feel like that anymore because although now I still have moments of anger/sadness that feel much stronger than usual, I don't feel as grey. Liam has been a saint through my moods. God bless him.

As far as pregnancy symptoms go, that's pretty much where I'm at. I've had a few little things like bigger boobs or going to the loo a million times a day but they haven't seemed as news worthy as the ones above.

In all of these things, the things that have helped have been just taking it slow. Boring and tedious but I've found 'pushing through' leads to even more exhaustion, tears and set backs the next day. I'm really thankful to have such a supportive partner in Liam and have felt very much like I'm in a team and not doing it all alone which has been so, so appreciated.

I won't be doing weekly updates on my youtube channel but I might keep you updated a bit more over here if you are interested? I've really enjoyed blogging about pregnancy so I'm sure you'll see a lot more from me over here, do let me know what you'd like to read about!

Toodlepip!

xx