photo 1-home-1.jpg photo 2-about.jpg photo 3-sponsor.jpg photo 4-faq.jpg
 photo header.jpg

Thursday, 28 September 2017

The Fog Has Lifted?

Oh Hai, 

Do you know how many blog posts I have started and not completed this past couple of months? Six. Six half written blog posts that started with the best of intentions and then either the motivation slipped away, I chickened out or I just felt it wasn't good enough. 

I wanted tonight to write a blog post just to say Hi, let you know how I'm feeling where I'm at, no big deal. Sometimes when you leave something for too long, it becomes a frightening thing that you struggle to get back into and I think that's what's happened here. I've made it a 'thing'. 

I'm un-'thinging' it. This is my blog, my space, my slice of internet to muse about crap and junk and not care too much. If I wanted to be super crazy serious I'd write a book....oh wait. That's not to say I don't think other blogs are serious by the way, I just think I need to stop placing so much intensity on mine. It's not a 'money-making' platform (I do the odd sponsored post but it isn't a main source of income), I don't currently heavily promote it and it's not my most current thing (you know, like how insta stories are all the rage). But, this blog was my first. My big step into the online world and the start of it all so it deserves some respect for that. 

I love this blog. Love tiptapping on the keys. I love the bones of it as they say up north. Does anyone here say that??

So, lately it feels as though a fog has lifted. I don't want to jinx it and am acutely aware that this could change any moment but for the past ten days or so, I've felt myself and that's felt good. I've been able to work hard, to arrange social things, to enjoy vlogging and to be more exciting as a Mum to my six year old.

Pregnancy is a crazy fox to tame. Your body is under strain, your mind is full of all sorts and your hormones are all over the shop. The first three months were fairly standard with nausea and exhaustion but what has hit me hardest has been the mental effects. I have felt so down, so flat and so lost. 

I'm generally a very chipper person, always looking on the bright side and always managing a bit of get-up-and-go but since finding out I was pregnant, that seems to have hugely dissipated and I've been left feeling like I'm loosing it. I started to suspect I perhaps had mild pre-natal-depression and spoke to some of my good friends about it. A couple (Jessica and Emma I'm looking at you) were fantastic and one, rather painfully, not to nice at all. 

A week later (after failing to bring myself to talk to my midwife at our appointment), Liam and I took Darcy to the park to collect conkers and whilst she played on the swings, I sat on a bench (with a hand bag full of conkers) and cried my eyes out. Full, snotty, heaving cry in a public place with no tissues to hand-yay and you'll be glad to know, my gloves were machine washable! I told Liam how low I felt, how shit as a mother and girlfriend and general human I felt and how I feared I would never recover. 

Liam said, 'I think you're really suffering and I'm here for you'. I didn't sit on that park bench and feel jubilant but I did feel like a weight was off my shoulders. 

It is very hard to admit you're not feeling well but when you do, it's such a relief. 

After bench-gate, I decided to take it day by day. I mentioned how I felt to my stepmum Tina and she was very kind. Emma was a constant support and Jessica showed great care. Liam let me take my problems and give them to him. I had a bit of a team. 

Emma and Jessica suggested I speak to my GP or midwife (as did Liam actually) but each day, I started to feel a bit more 'me'. I kept thinking, 'Oh wow it's nice to have a good day' or 'Oooh I haven't cried or obsessed or frantically fretted today'. I started to be able to watch programmes and not think it would happen to me or Darcy (I would watch something with any violence or trauma and couldn't get it out of my head that it was fiction), I stopped having nightmares. 

Now, it's been about a week and a half. It's not a 'oh hooray that thing has 100% gone forever' but just having this 10 days has reminded me of who I am and reminded me that even if that fog descends again, I'll be back. Having the support of my main people and being encouraged to reach out to the Dr if I need to has also been hugely comforting to me. 

There's no big hurrah to this update. No big life lesson other than to say, there were quite a few rubbish days but lately, the fog has lifted and it's been good. Long may it continue! 

If you have felt like me, for whatever reason (pregnancy related or not), speak to someone. I know that's so cliche and boring but after 24 weeks of not really saying much, when I did, it REALLY has a positive impact. 

Feel free to comment below with your thoughts on this post, I'd love to hear them. 

Big Loves, 


Louise xx


  1. I'm so glad you're starting to feel more 'yourself' again. I can't even imagine how much pressure you must feel to keep it 'together', not only because of your internet presence but also as a mum to Darcy. Letting people know that you feel shit is so helpful. Sending lots of love

    Steph -

  2. It's so refreshing to read a post that's just honest, far too often we all gloss over the 'negatives' as such, I've done it myself and recently have regretted doing so as I gave birth to a little boy 2 months ago and only put out the positive posts and the highly edited photos when, in actual fact it's bloody hard and most days I wake up with yesterday's makeup on, I won't lie I've worn the same makeup 2 days in a row hahah, welcome to reality. Thank you for being honest though Louise, this will make others realise that pregnancy isn't always sunshine and rainbows like we all like to make out it is xxx

  3. So glad you write with such honesty. It's good to let others know that it's ok to be down and there's a light on the other side with help and support. It's important to open up so that we all know we are not alone. Sending love and happy vibes.

    Steph x

  4. I'm so glad you're feeling better Louise, much love xx

  5. Love how honest you are, keep doing you - because we love it! xx

  6. Great post Louise. We were talking in work the other day (community mental health) about how important it is for midwives and health visitors to ask open questions at routine ante-natal visits that may pick up on a woman who can't bring herself to come out and say how's she's feeling. From my memory they are quite functional and related to physical health and I know everyone is pushed for time but it's so important to try to get a holistic view of the woman and baby.

    I'm glad things have turned a corner for you, if things get hard again you'll be able to look back and see that feelings change, often for the better.

  7. I went years without admitting anything and in my final year of university I couldn't handle it anymore and cried a lot. I ended up going to counselling at my local Mind and it was the most amazing thing I have ever done. I found the root of my problems and now know what to do to keep myself calm or to bring back a little bit of control to a bad situation. It is the worst feeling in the world and you can feel all alone, but just know that there is an amazingly strong person behind it all! Love this blog post so much! Xxx

  8. Take one day at a time, I'm pleased to read that things are slowly turning a corner for you. Such an open and honest post, loved it.


  9. I am so glad you're starting to feel more like yourself again and you have good people around you to talk to, it's so important to be able to talk about these things. Also totally hear and say 'love the bones of' all the time haha!xx

    Hannah | luxuryblush

  10. Louise,
    Firstly I want to say thank you for being brave and an inspiration to so many women who suffer in silence. I must admit this post made me emotional because I hate it when I snot cry without tissues. *jokes* . No but seriously the way you shared your team support and letting down your guard, to let them help you is the first step. I love the way you expressed how much a "weight" had been lifted off after you did this. It's so true. It breaks my heart to think of women going through this in silence. 4ish years ago, I had pre and post natal but not with my first or second with my third child my son. The day I found out I came home to tell my husband, he knew something wasn't right was the day he shared that he lost his job also. It's a longer story which I am happy to tell you via PM, but when you feel like that life feels hard enough to cope, get up, put on a brave face for the family you have and love. I believe in those times are the times you see the real people who love you for you. Not the ones you chase after for support but the ones who show up, without sounds like you have found that amazing support and been wise in how you have handled it. Loved this post, please do more. ��Love Kate xoxo p.s you mentioned you had a bag full of conkers? What are those I am an Aussie, some kind of biscuit?

  11. Oh my god when you said you watch tv and worry that the things you watch might happen to you and your daughter I had such a pang! I do think it's super common in pregnancy - and post actually. Because having a child is such a momentous thing, and it brings this huge fear into your life that you've never experienced before. And I think a lot of people admonish themselves for feeling like that, and berate themselves for being dramatic, when really they should be honest about it and get some support, or even just confirmation that other women feel the same. I went through it big time when I was pregnant, and after my daughter was born, and it took some time to get my head round it. It took me 18 months to admit that I had huge anxiety over irrational things, and once I did it was like suddenly I could look back and see that it had been there all the time, while I'd been ignoring it and bluffing my way through it. I'm rambling now so I'll shut up, but it's good that you've said it, and great that you're feeling better with it now. Actually, my mum always said a good heaving sobbing session is a great stress relief and she was right!

  12. Great post girl, write whatever you feel!


  13. I think everyone has 'seasons of anxiety' Louise - I'm just coming out of one myself now (have been in it since June) but can only imagine your pregnancy has completely exasperated this! Glad you're feeling better!

  14. This is such a lovely post, and definitely one you should look back on when the 'fog' reappears! It is so nice to see a new post on your blog, this is where I first discovered you, and I think where I will always remember you from. Keep smiling Louise, soon you'll have a beautiful little baby!

    Abi | abistreetx

  15. This is the best and honest blog post I've read in a long time - write how you feel and be honest about it, keeps your space on the internet kind, refreshing and honest - I'm glad your starting to feel yourself Louise. - its lovely to see that your opening up about stuff like this, makes everyone including yourself to see your not alone and never will or have been. x

  16. Great post! Well done for speaking up about how you've been feeling Louise!

  17. Clairethemamabear2 October 2017 at 16:54

    Lou, I know how hard that must have been for you to admit, I'm exactly the same, but doesn't it feel so good to unload? Pls, if there's one thing I've learnt, never ever suffer in silence! it nearly led me to do smth stupid 14yrs ago!!! im glad the shock pushed me into seeing my gp. Keeping talking hunni, it will get easier, I promise. I'm very proud of you xx

  18. If you need your ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend to come crawling back to you on their knees (even if they're dating somebody else now) you gotta watch this video
    right away...

    (VIDEO) Get your ex back with TEXT messages?

  19. Confront your cheating spouse with evidence, I was able to spy on my cheating ex phone without finding really helped me.. contact hotcyberlord at gmail dot com or call and text +15402277725 for spying and hacking social networks, school servers, icloud and much more, viber chats hack,retrieving deleted texts of any kind. Facebook messages and yahoo messenger, calls log and spy call recording, monitoring SMS text messages remotely, cell phone GPS location tracking, spy on Whats app Messages.
    Email: hotcyberlord at gmail dot com
    text num:+15402277725
    what's app:+254797118868
    tell him jane referred you.

  20. Welcome to Peter__spell official page of wonder. I cast all dark spell on riches,love portion or love spell,marriage spell, good job, appointment,good luck spell, dating, healing of sickness instantly or disease, success spell, protective spell and any spell of your choice. Contact me WhatsApp +2348073141298 to get help with anything you me today and make things better Email:

  21. Thanks for sharing, nice post! Post really provice useful information!

    Giaonhan247 chuyên dịch vụ order hàng nhật, mua hộ hàng hàn quốc, dịch vụ order hàng hàn quốc và vận chuyển ship hàng đức uy tín, giá rẻ.


  22. All thanks to the might spell caster Dr okeke i can't believe I got my husband back to me again. with the help of Dr okeke spell I had read some stuff about Dr. okeke on the internet how he help people restore there marriage or relationship before i contact him he said he will help me bring him back to me I never wanted to believe him because of what I went through of those fake people who claims to be spell caster but i didn't know that all those great stuff I read about Dr okeke were so real and accurate until i got my ex back, after Dr okeke asking for my picture and my husband picture after some time Dr okeke call me and told me my husband is coming back home within 2days it was like a joke to me but i was so surprise that my husband who lift me about 5months ago came back to me within 2days asking for my forgiveness After getting my ex back i taught it wise to share my testimony and the good work of Dr okeke with every one on this website I know most people will not believe this testimony because of those fake people online who claims to be a spell caster well am telling the world now there are still real and truthful spell caster and Dr okeke is one of the best and true spell caster i have ever see contact Dr okeke today your problem will be solved Dr okeke is real and truthful spell caster that rebuild any broken relationship or marriage with love spell. Do feel free to Contact Dr okeke via email:( or reach him on WhatsApp (+2348140443360) he the solution to your problem and predicament HE CAN ALSO HELP WITH THE FOLLOWING PROBLEM

  23. It is a very hard situation when playing the lottery and never won, or keep winning low fund not up to 100 bucks, i have been a victim of such a tough life, the biggest fund i have ever won was 100 bucks, and i have been playing lottery for almost 12 years now, things suddenly change the moment i came across a secret online, a testimony of a spell caster called DR EMU, who help people in any type of lottery numbers, i was not easily convinced, but i decided to give try, now i am a proud lottery winner with the help of DR EMU, i won $1,000.0000.00 and i am making this known to every one out there who have been trying all day to win the lottery, believe me this is the only way to win the lottery.

    Contact him via email
    What's app +2347012841542


Thank you for comment!
Sprinkleofglitter xxx

 photo newer.jpg  photo older.jpg  photo homebot.jpg