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Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts
Showing posts with label motherhood. Show all posts

Wednesday, 22 February 2017

Flying Long Haul With Children! TIPS


Oh Hai, 

If you follow me on instagram (if you don't, what? why?), you'll know that I recently took Darcy out to Disney World in Orlando and that obviously, it involved a long haul flight. 


I've had a few messages and comments asking how I find this or if I have any special tricks for getting through it all so I thought a blog post might be apt. 

We're really lucky and have had to opportunity to travel long haul quite a few times. In fact, in her five years, Darcy has been on ten foreign adventures, so that's twenty flights, eighteen of which have been long haul across the Atlantic to either Orlando or Seattle (both over 8 hours away). 


I've picked up a few little tips and techniques but what I will say is that every child is different and you know best how to care for your own. Just because something works for one mother, doesn't necessarily mean it will work well for another. 

We first started flying when Darcy was 2 years old. My whole family flew out to Orlando on a virgin flight sat in economy. It was really cool to have three rows of people I knew and loved and also meant that Darcy had plenty of people to play with and cuddle, so that definitely helped. I took a lot of small toys on that trip, a really really lot. I think I had about three sandwich bags full of little toys for her to play with. I bought them all new so that she'd be super interested in them and spend a bit longer with each one- that's your goal here- occupy as long as possible! 



On subsequent flights I've taken the toys and added things in like stickers (children live for stickers, any stickers, all the stickers), crayons (although I've found she's bored of these now and would rather feel a bit more superior and use a biro) and, at the grand old age of five, her all time love, the iPad. I know we're all for lowering screen time and letting littles have golden experiences like milking cows and running freely through meadows of blooms but let's face it, a bit of screen time on a flight isn't going to give them brain rot but it is going to give you your sanity. We have a Leap Frog tablet with loads of non wifi needing games loaded onto it but you could always download a few apps to your iPad or phone before you fly. 


(Did you know one woman can drag three cases, wear a backpack and keep a child in check all by herself- women are crazy strong!)

Most long haul planes will have little TV screens in the seats- take advantage of these! It's Darcy's dream day when I say, 'you know what, sit down with a blanket and just stare at a film for a few hours, I don't mind' and on the flight, I'm fine with it. Once we flew out to Seattle with Delta and the screens didn't work, at all. That's 9 hours in small chairs with a four year old who wants to know if we're nearly there yet. I hadn't bought the iPad thinking, 'she won't want that if there are tv's available' and I regretted it all the way across the ocean. 


Snacks are your friends. Most planes serve food, drinks and snacks throughout the flight and most of the time it's really quite nice. Sometimes though, you're little cherub decides they hate everything, even peas which they liked a lot the day before but now, no, they detest them. They also now detest chicken and pasta and bread and salad and perhaps even orange juice. Cool. Hopefully this won't happen to you but on the off chance it does, wouldn't you be glad that you bought a plain cheese sandwich and a banana from Pret before you boarded the flight? You might even be glad you bought those four kit kat chunkys that you can eat feverishly in the toilet every hour so that you can cope. Buy some snacks. If you don't eat them, you've wasted a tenner. If you do, you're both happy people and that's a risk worth taking. 



Dress your bambino is comfortable clothes. That Baby K trouser one piece is adorable but it's not going to be so fun when you have to wrangle them out of it to almost nudity for them to have a wee in the very small loo on board. Leggings, tee shirt, jumper and trainers are my usual go to and can be de-layed if you're arriving somewhere hot and you've packed a pair of shorts. Always take a spare set of clothes incase there's an accident (from them, from someone else or turbulence) and if it's a night flight, consider jimjams- nobody will judge you, I've done it quite a few times and it's great because they're automatically dressed for sleep and it helps them nod off- yay, wine and film time for you!!

(This was just before we discovered that the tv's on the plane didn't work on our flight.)

This is very luxurious and I'm aware not for everyone but we have flown in a variety of different 'classes'. I don't really like the term classes because it sounds a bit elitist but that's what airlines call them. We've flown business with British Airways (very nice but make sure you book a child's meal otherwise your little one is going to be eating a herb encrusted stick of asparagus and a perfectly marinated piece of salmon), and premium economy with Virgin. We've also travelled economy with Delta, British Airways and Virgin. I have to say, I don't think the seating arrangements makes any difference to a child's behaviour. All they give a monkeys about is the TV, snacks and toys. However, I'll be blunt, that level of comfort made a big difference to me. A lot of our trips have been just me and the child and to be able to skip lines, sit in a spacious, enclosed (business has little walls and windows), environment with everything easily on hand makes life lovely. If you're travelling solo with a child and you can upgrade (I know, it's extortionate), just consider it. 

(Do you know how fun it is to lug your giant car seat across the world? Zero fun, that's how much, zero). 

One of the biggest things I have done for each and every flight (even a 2 hour squeezeyjet flight to Spain) is talk, talk, talk about it before hand. The more you talk about it, the more familiar they are with the concept and the less of a shock everything is going to be when the board or when you ask them to do something. When she was very little, we practised sitting nicely with legs out and hands on knees (sounds tedious but she was game for it during the flight so I was glad of all the, 'shall we play aeroplanes?') and we now talk about the plan for the flight. So, 'This flight is going to be so fun! We're going to watch a film, have some lunch, have a nap and then when you wake up, you can watch another film or play with the toys'. I find that if Darcy has a brief outline of how things are going to play out, she's much more able to behave. I get it, I like to know where I am with things too. 

I hope some of these tips have been useful to you. Ultimately, all you can do is do your best. Give them something to sip or suck for taking off and landing (ears and pressure don't always mix) and cut yourself some slack- it's hard work parenting in such a squished environment, nobody is going to judge you if your child isn't a perfect angel all the time and you don't need to feel fretful about it. 

Sit back, put their headphones on and enjoy your flight!

Toodlepip!

xx

PS- Leave your tips below- I'm sure they'll be helpful to everyone else as well as me! 



Monday, 16 January 2017

You Got This! | Motivational Monday | 2017 #2


Oh Hai,

Merry Monday to you! The third week of January is often a sticky one for me, one where I give up my resolutions, ditch the healthy eating, slack on my schedule and succumb to the gloomy weather. With that in mind, I thought we'd take today's Motivational Monday opportunity to gee ourselves up and  k e e p  g o i n g. 

(Sourced from Pinterest and traced to HERE)

January is rough and long and a lot of us are feeling the pinch with December's payday seeming a long old time a go but you've got this! You can totally get through it and push into February still on track with all your goals and resolutions. 

Save this blog post on your phone or laptop and every time you feel a bit bleaugh, read this - 

KEEP GOING. YOU ARE SO MUCH STRONGER THAN YOU THINK YOU ARE. DIG DEEP. THINK HOW AMAZING YOU'LL FEEL IN FEBRUARY, KNOWING YOU DID IT FOR ALL OF JANUARY. 

Pass this on to anyone you know that is trying. That lady in the office, your friend at college, your Mummy friend who's had a lot of sleepless night. Remind them that like you, they can handle it! 

How have you been getting on with last week's homework of waking up a little bit earlier? I did it about 3 days of the week and really felt great for it!

Let me know how you're getting on in the comments below OR leave a positive comment for someone else who has reached out. Let's keep the comments section a really supportive space for those who need it. 

Good luck! Keep Going! Love you!

Toodlepip!

xx





Friday, 13 January 2017

Mummy Dates Project 2017 | Rugby!


Oh Hai,

Thank you so much to everyone who read the start up post to this project and decided to join in! Don't forget, you can join in at any time and all the details are in that linked blog post. If you're new, my Mummy Dates Project is a way to encourage us all to spend more quality, present time with our littles, doing something fun. 

(Everything snapped on my phone. Didn't want to take my big camera, just wanted to be in the moment)

This weekend my friend Clare (who's Husband, Mark, was once my Fusband- remember him?) offered Darcy and I great tickets to go and watch the rugby. With Mark coaching there, she goes regularly but I'd never taken Darcy so decided it might be a fun afternoon for us to go out as a duo. We do so many playdates or trips with Liam that I want to ensure I continue to protect our Mummy/Darcy time in 2017. 

I've never been big into sports but Liam's enthusiasm for the rugby (he used to play and now lurves to watch), I've sort of been sucked in and to my surprise, really enjoy it! Honestly, I never ever thought I'd say that.


We hopped in a cab on Saturday afternoon (parking there is hard work) and picked up our tickets from a really friendly lady on the front desk. What I will say about the Northampton Saints ground is just how friendly all the staff were, really great service at every opportunity. 

As ever, I bumped into my Dad and Tina. You'd be amazed how many times I bump into my Dad (once I bumped into him in an American airport when we were both on separate business trips, once I realised I was behind his car on the M1) and he kindly took our Mummy Date snap for us. 

For the game we sat in one of the boxes which was perfect for Darcy. A lot of the players families use these as a little hub to socialise, they have food & drinks facilities and toys for children etc so Darcy really enjoyed getting stuck into those.



The game was exciting. Darcy didn't fully grasp the rules but cheered for her team and enjoyed the atmosphere. I loved that Clare was there with her little girl too so it was like a double Mummy Daughter Date. 

On the way home (thanks Dad for the lift a million miles across town!!) Darcy looked through the programme and chattered about the experience. 

It was so nice just to get out and do something a bit different for the sole purpose of just enjoying it. The only downside was how envious Liam was of us doing his favourite thing without him haha! Sadly, he had to work, we weren't just meanies leaving him out!

---

I would love to hear about what Mummy Dates you've been getting up to. Lucky for us, some people have already gotten involved in the project and posted their adventures too. I'll link them below for you to go and enjoy. 

Hayley Sarah - "ARTIST, AUTHOR AND MUMMY RECENTLY DIAGNOSED WITH BREAST CANCER AND BLOGGING ABOUT MY JOURNEY THROUGH MY MASTECTOMY, CHEMOTHERAPY, WIGS AND CHANGING MY LIFE."

Ashely Jay - "Here you will find I cover a variety of topics from day to day life to beauty and fashion. So grab a cuppa, get ready to read and feel free to leave a comment."


If you would like to share your Mummy Dates, please do. Simply head to the original blog post, read the 'rule's (lol, v flexible) and leave your link below on that blog post (not this one). Next time I have a Mummy Date I'll share your post and a little bit about you (most likely taken from your bio or you can write something in the comment you leave me) and we can have a bit of community love and support going on. 



Please do head over and give the very gorgeous Hayley some TLC- it looks like she had a great day after a pretty rough year. Big loves. 

Toodlepip!

xx

Saturday, 7 January 2017

Mummy Dates Project 2017 - Join In Too!


Oh Hi, 

As part of my New Years Resolution to continue blocking off strict Mummy Time with Darcy, I thought I'd write about it here because, as ever, I plan to document it. You might be new round here so let me tell you, I LOVE TO DOCUMENT THINGS. 

Mummy Dates 2017 Louise Pentland

A lot of things that I document go on my instagram, glitter channel or chatter channel (click on the words for the link there) but often I will snap photos for my private collection (that sounds so seedy, it's not. I just take a LOT of photos every day!), write lists of special things that have happened or journal things on paper. 

To me, documenting is saving memories. I can relax knowing they are recorded somewhere tangible rather than worrying my brain might let them fade away. 

I want to document my Mummy Dates but I'm in a bit of a conundrum because I'm being very firm with my time allocations this year. For example, today is a Saturday and I've marked it as a 'No Filming Day'. I vlog all week to make THESE weekly vlogs, plus I make separate videos for my glitter channel. It's important to have a couple of days not being 'on'. 

Today for our Mummy Date we've kindly been gifted rugby tickets by our friends so I'm taking Darcy to watch her first live match! My friend Clare will be there with Baby Hope (you might have seen her in vlogs) and we're going to get some street food first. It's Darcy's first experience of live stadium sports so it should be a really nice afternoon. 

For me, I think the best way to document it whilst still being completely present in the moment is just to take a few pictures on my phone when the moment strikes and then write a blog post. I'm not going to put put great pressure on myself to take the most amazing best shots ever or to get lots and lots. If I do manage to then hurrah, but if I don't, I won't beat myself up over it. My main goal is special dedicated time with my babe, if I can take a few snaps then hooray! 

Mummy Dates are very fluid. Some weeks there might be lots and it might be big and exciting, but some weeks it might be low key, like watching a film at home on the sofa with laptops closed and social media shut down. Over the year, I'd like to try and blog about it and, if you're a Mama, why don't you as well? A little Mummy Date for you and your little one/s?

If you'd like to take part in this year long project and be supported by this lovely community, here's all you need to do-

1. Do something lovely with your little and document it for your blog in your usual style - no rules, just do your own thing. 

2. Copy and paste the below photo at the bottom of your post with, 'Mummy Dates 2017 Project' linked to this specific blog post. You can make the image tiny or massive.

Koin Mummy Dates Project 2017 Louise Pentland

3. In the comments of this post, link below your blog post and the month you did it in so that in my next Mummy Dates, I can add all the people who are also taking part in the project. If you want to leave a bit about you (eg, Hi, I'm Louise, I love blogging and I'm a Mother of one little girl) then that would be great but you don't have to. 


That's it really! Anyone can join at any time of the year, just include the link and month below so I can keep track. I'll be linking each blog in my posts but if your blog is vulgar or contains themes of an adult nature (you know what I'm talking about), then obviously I'll just be leaving that off and wishing you all the best. 

I love the idea of all of us doing something together, sharing ideas and working on such a heart warming project. 

See you soon with an update of how the rugby Mummy Date went!

Toodlepip!

xx



Thursday, 17 November 2016

An Open Letter to my Daughter about my Work

Dear Darcy,

Our life is a juggling act.



Today I am sat in the dressing room of a theatre in Brussels, Belgium, about to give a speech to a room full of policy makers from the European Union. As I write this, you will be packing up your things at school and waiting to be walked round to the after-school club by your teacher and then Tina, will come and collect you, take you home and put you to bed at her house. I want to be holding your hand, picking you up, putting you to bed.

I'll finish my speech, attend an evening talking to key people, go back to my hotel, check my phone for texts from Tina, fall asleep, get up, come home and think of you because tomorrow is Daddy's day.

Our life is a mission in logistics. We use every hour carefully and I plan our calendars as carefully as I can. I try to schedule my work commitments on your Daddy days so that when you're with me, I'm there. I value my time with you above my time with anyone or anything else in the world. YOU are my world.

Except, right now, it's just us, a team of two. There are bills to pay, school fees to cover, things to buy and for those, I have to work. I love to work. I feel such a thrill when a project succeeds or something great happens. I'm motivated and hard working and I hope as you grow, you'll see that and be it too.

---

Rather fittingly, I got called on stage for a rehearsal and had to close my laptop. It's now almost a month later and I'm finding a moment to write this post. My blog always comes last in the list of things in our life.

Today I'm in London working at the Gleam office whilst you're at your Daddy's again. I miss you. I think about how I'd like to be at home, near your warm little head which is currently perfect height for me to absent mindedly run my hand over your soft hair.

I feel torn every day. I want to work. I want to work hard. I have a long list of things I want to achieve and dreams I want to make reality. I want to make an incredible life for you. You're only 5 and I'm already putting things in place to financially secure your future. I'm proud that I can afford your school fees and I'm proud to give you the things you need.

As soon as I drop you at school, I drive home and start my emails. Then, at 2.55pm, I shut them down and come for you. Waiting at the school gates is my favourite part of the day. I go into full Mummy mode and stay there till you've gone to bed and I can start my laptop up again.

The problem is, sometimes I have to do a whole day, or come into London or work at an event at a weekend and it does eat into my time with you. It's not often but when it does happen, my heart hurts.  It aches to be at home with you, being cosy, having our chats in the car, playing fairies on the landing or running around at the 'secret park' we love. 

I miss a lot of work things too, which I feel bad about. I'm skipping my work Christmas Party so I can watch your school play. Obviously, I'd MUCH rather see you be the lead sheep in this year's nativity, but those Christmas parties are so freaking good and I'll be bombarded with everyone's photos the next day.

I'm getting there though I think. When I'm at work I say, 'I'm doing this for us, for our now and for our future' and when I'm missing work I say, 'work will still be there but 5 year old you won't'. Soon you'll be 6 and then 7 and then 8! Slow down baby girl!

Our life is a juggling act but look at us go! We are a team of two and somehow, we're managing! I'm proud of how far we've come together. I'm learning every day how better to juggle our commitments and you're learning every day the power of motivation and determination. I'm so proud of the person you are becoming. Your kind heart constantly impresses me. Your morals are high and so are your spirits- you're going to go so far, little girlie!

And, if you do decide to put your skills into running a business and juggling motherhood like your Mama, I'll be here. I'll help you with your child, do your admin, offer pep talks and remind you that being a hard working mummy is admirable. You won't be neglecting your baby or being selfish, you'll be filling a potential you feel compelled to explore and I will salute you, proudly.

I love you Darcy, whether we're curled up in bed reading 'The Giant Jam Sandwich', singing to Beauty and the Beast in the car or whether I'm sat in a sixth floor office on Charlotte Street, London, I love you. You are always my top, best and most.

Love Forever,

Mummy xxx




Wednesday, 16 November 2016

How To Survive A Sick Day


Oh Hai,

Long time no blog. Well, long time no publish I should say. I've been writing a lot of blog posts and then saving them to drafts, meaning to finish them later. But, with writing the novel, cracking on with more videos, enjoying a new relationship and Mumming, the blog has taken a back seat. Poor old blog, I do love you but you're always the first to drop off when things get too much. I promise to love you more. 

Anyway, soothing my blog as if it's a real person aside, I'm here today to give you my highly professional and expert (not) tips on how to survive a sick day. 



On Sunday, in the car Darcy got sick. Like projectile puke up the back of my passenger seat/ruined her car seat/drenched her clothes sick. Sick sick. The sick continued at home and my house now has a faint vom odour to welcome anyone who dares set foot in it. Yummy. Yesterday there was less sick but we still managed a good spray around the house and this morning my bed pillows took the brunt of it. She's keeping water down and a little bit of food but the poor mite isn't having a very nice time. 

Thankfully, spirits are high but energy is low. These are the things I've been doing to make my life easier. 

(This post isn't medical advice, you should do that yourselves, this is just the extra bits to make life easier)

How To Survive A Sick Day


Gather every bit of patience. Your little one can't help it but they're going to be on High Demand settings. Whiny, moany, needy. That's fine for a day or two but after a while it wears thin. Each hour I remind myself how much I hate being ill and how much difference a loving, warm, kind heart can have to your patient. 

Let go of yours and their schedule. Trust me, just wipe everything on your to-do list for a couple of days if you can. When you take away that pressure and your only job is to be Mummy, it's a lot easier to cope. Most things can wait. 

Make a base to keep life central. We've made camp upstairs. Darcy has been living in the guest room because the bed is closer to my bed, toys have been dragged out to the landing so I can see her from my room (I've been doing some editing and emails whilst she plays) and of course, the bathroom is on hand. Food is bought upstairs, blankets are everywhere, life is good up here. 

Find every towel in the house and put them EVERYWHERE. Towels are your friends during this time. I've learnt the hard way that little children don't aim into bowls. Oh no, they just let it all out. At least if you have towels down by the bed and over the covers of the bed, you can scoop them up and protect what's underneath. 

Have a bucket or bowl in every room. I almost broke my neck running for the bowl when I heard her coughing yesterday. New plan, multiple bowls, multiple rooms. 

Get everyone in PJ's. You're not going out so why are you confining yourself to a bra. F*ck that. Put little one in PJ's (and expect to go through a few pairs if they're sick) and put yourself in something comfortable too. 

Tie up everyone's hair. You'd think it's just the sicky person who needs this but alas, after carrying Darcy up the stairs and having a bit of an....incident...all down my back, I wished my hair had been tied up. 

Charge the iPad and load up Netflix. A TV day is FINE if they're ill. I know we all talk about less screen time and more active play but if they're not well, don't worry. You're not going to give them brain rot if they have a day of Mr Tumble. You on the other hand...

Don't be afraid to ring 111. If things get beyond what you're comfortable or familiar with, phone 111 NHS Direct. They're amazing with advice and offer real peace of mind that you're taking the best course of action. You can never be too careful so you don't need to feel silly or guilty about making that call. 

Keep yourself well. When you're caring for your tiny, it's easy to forget caring for yourself but it's important you stay fed, watered and healthy so you can continue being their nurse. I've had a hot bubble bath every night after a sick day. It helps. 

Keep on top of laundry if you can. I was tempted to knock that off my to-do list when I cleared the schedule but I soon ran low on towels and PJ's so if you can, keep throwing those loads in. I've never been more grateful for my washing machine than this week!! 

Treats, treats, treats! We have been finding that fairies leave dollies on the landing for poorly children. I think it's nice to give them something a bit extra when they're having a rough time. I think the fairy dollies were a much needed pick-me-up in Darcy's day and well worth Liam's late night trip to the supermarket to buy one. 



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I'd love to hear what you do when your little is under the weather- for them and also for you. Parents of more than one child- I tip my cap to you! Single motherhood and one sick child was a challenge, I don't know how Mamas of multiples manage!!

Toodlepip!

xx

Monday, 26 September 2016

"Bottle Feeding or Shit Tits"


Oh Hai, 

A story about breasts for you today. 

Saturday night was great. It was one of those nights that's supposed to be a glass of wine at your local that turns into an evening of laughs and memories and 'omg's remember when..'s'. So good. Except for one guy. I won't name and shame him because that'd be a low blow so let's just call him, 'Richard'. Shorten that to whatever you like. 

My friend Hazel came up from London and her and I were going to have a girlie drink and a natter. Nice. Then, I invited my guy friend and he had a couple of friends there already, one of them being 'Richard'. So, a group of 5. Me, Hazel, Guy Friend, his Matey and 'Richard'. Got it? Ok. 


(A really old snap of me holding a drink - I think Zoe took this at Fleur's house a million years ago! - because I didn't take any pictures whilst we were out. Also, my 'shit tits' are in this which I thought was appropriate.)

Wine flowed (room temperature rose Echo Falls for us classy ladies thank you) and spirits were high. Chit chat, 'bants' (I hate that word) and story telling. Lovely. Richard seemed friendly. Took an interest in Hazel's love of script writing, asked about Darcy because he too has a little girl from a relationship he is no longer in, joined in with general socialising. Fine. 

Onto the second bottle and the subject of religion crops up. I'm a Christian and happy to talk about that. I'm not happy to try and persuade or force anyone to feel that same way as me though. I'm also not going to 'prove God exists'. I can certainly talk about Him and debate it all but, crazily enough, my powers don't extend to summoning the Good Lord into the village pub on a Saturday night. Hazel, Guy Friend and Matey don't have a faith and were happy to go with the, 'You believe what you like and we'll believe what we like and we're all cool', vibe. Lovely. Richard though, no. He wasn't letting it go easily, not til we all knew he was a, in his words, 'militant Atheist'. A lot of placating from me, 'Look it's fine, I won't change my mind and I'm not trying to change yours' and then eventually a firm topic change from the others and we were back on track with light convo. Phewf. 

The night carried on in good fashion, all sat on stools around a high table and the general hub-bub of pub life carrying on around us. Later in the evening, Matey's wife joined us (loveliest lady ever, Hazel and I decided) and the subject of having babies came up (they aren't there yet). Wife said, 'as long as you help me through the night with bottle feeds!', in a jovial tone. Matey said, 'Nahhh, you'll be breastfeeding!', in a matching tone. 

All of this felt fine. It was their thing. Frankly, I don't care either way how that lady feeds her future babies, she can do whatever feels best to her. I know 'breast is best' and that there is a lot of evidence to support that, but if a lady chooses to bottle feed her baby, I think that's up to her. Basically, I support both. Darcy was breast fed for a week before we had some serious health issues and had a stay in hospital. After that, it was bottles for us. I think I would have liked to have breast fed for longer but nature had other ideas and I was actually quite relieved to now be able to share the load. 

So, back to last night. Wifey and Matey are having a quippy little chat and we're all sort of chuckling along. Then Richard, good old Richard, steps in with an absolute beauty, 'It's bottle feeding or shit tits!!!'. 

I think in his mind, he was doing Wifey a favour and trying to sway Matey to bottles so that he would have to help more in the night. I think he thought he was saying something good or useful. 

Rage bubbled inside me. I erupted. 'DID YOU JUST SAY 'BOTTLE FEEDING OR SHIT TITS'?? ARE MY TITS SHIT RICHARD???', I said that as I grabbed both my boobs and kind of aggressively shook them at him (#WineRegrets). He looked instantly awkward. 'What's wrong with you? Tits aren't there for your personal sexual pleasure! They're for babies!!! NO WONDER YOU'RE SINGLE!', bit (too) harsh past-tipsy-me, bit (too) harsh. Sorry Richard. 

The situation was placated by my guy friend and everyone calmed down and moved on. I apologised to Richard for being so shouty and tried to explain that I'm just really passionate about women's bodies. I'm sure if he had a blog, he'd be writing about me too haha. 

I've thought about it this morning. Should I have semi-yelled at a man I'd only met that night in a pub? Probably not. Do I still feel the same in the cold sobriety of the morning? Yes. Yes I actually bloody do. 

'It's bottle feeding or shit tits'. No. It's bottle feeding or breast feeding. It's feeding. It's loving your baby with all your heart and making choices that are best. If you can, breast feeding is so worth it. It's bonding and nourishing and doing what your body was beautifully and wonderfully designed for. Your body has just grown and delivered an infant and your breasts are (hopefully) full of milk to sustain it. 

(Found this on my FB from 2011. Darcy after a feed, note the bottles and my enormous drink and cereal since feeding meant you were basically trapped for 30 minutes at a time ha. I wish I'd had actual pictures of me breast and bottle feeding.)

If you are unable, for whatever reason, bottle feeding is available. When I bottle fed my tiny Darcy, I felt that bonding sensation. I cradled her in my arms, held the bottle to her lips and watched her drink. I was keeping her alive, watching her grow, cuddling her warm body, it was lovely. I'm sure her Dad felt the same when he fed her, a task we were able and happy to share. 

Feeding, however you do it, is lovely. We're clear on that. 

You know what's not lovely though? Having a man put his sexual preferences ahead of your maternal instinct, your dignity or your self worth and spouting off about it. 

Child birth and everything after is beautiful and worthwhile but also, for many women, quite distressing, upsetting and esteem knocking. Your tummy is wibbly, your vagina/stomach may well be in stitches, you've just gone through crazy pregnancy changes (more hair/less hair, stretch marks, swollen feet, varicose veins, weight gain, spotty skin, the list goes on) and all in all, physically, you're feeling exhausted. 

You need love and reassurance. You want to be told that you're incredible for bringing new life into the world, that you're glowing (yeah it's sweat and grease but a lie here and there doesn't hurt), that your partner has never loved you more, watching you care for that baby. 

You know what, your 'tits' might change. They might be bigger or smaller, they might hang lower, they might not feel as sensitive sexually. They might actually stay the exact same. Ultimately, whatever you do to them, they will still just be your breasts. A part of your body to be loved and cherished. 

They will not be, 'shit'. They just kept a human alive for goodness sake! 

My breasts are not meaty toys for a man to play with. Of course I like a sexual partner to enjoy them in the appropriate moments, but they don't exist for his soul pleasure. They exist for me, for my children. 

I'm disgusted that Richard felt that breast feeding equals 'shit tits' and I'm disgusted that he voiced his opinion so brashly. When I questioned him on it I said, 'Does the Mother of your little girl have shit tits??'. 'She bottle fed', was the reply. Lucky her I guess, lucky the man she once married didn't have the opportunity to make her feel like crap. 

If you are a lady reading who has breast fed or ever does, I salute you. It's hard!! It takes determination and strength and love. I also salute your tits, whatever shape or size or, lolz, 'shitness' they are, I think they're bloody fantastic. 

And, 'Richard', if you're reading this, my tits, despite their brief stint of supplying my baby with milk, are fucking fabulous. 

Toodlepip!

xx

Edit - 12 hours after original post.
Richard has messaged. He, like a lot of us in our lives, made a flippant remark after a few drinks. He fully supports whatever way a woman wants to feed her baby and fully supported his wife in her choices with their child. He's glad this post has sparked support and love for women and their bodies and has apologised for any offence caused.

Personally, I of course still stand by the sentiment and message of this post. However, there are now no bad feelings towards Richard and I'm glad he is with us in our love of bodies, babies and self worth. Richard, apology accepted, you're alright! x

This post is dedicated to my good friend Clare who exclusively breast fed her baby girl, Hope,  for 5 months, with just one breast (the other wasn't playing ball). It was rough but she did it, happily and lovingly. I hope she never meets a 'Richard'. 

If you would like to pre-order my book, click HERE. 

Tuesday, 10 May 2016

Darcy at 5


Hello Glitterbugs!

If you followed my blog last month and read this or this post, you will know that my little girl, Darcy, turned 5 in April. 

I wanted to write a post all about her character and mannerisms as a way to document and remember all the little things she was into and also, one day, she might read this as an adult and smile- Hello grown up Darcy, if you're ready! 

(Thank you so much Courage & Kind for this darling silk dress, Darcy loves it)

Five years old, I think, is my favourite age. I remember saying that specifically about 4 months old and hoping it would never end so I'm thankful that this, 'favourite age' thing doesn't wear out. I'll probably say it for everything haha. 

Darcy is a gem. I know any mother would say that about their child so perhaps she's downright awful to everyone else but I don't think so. 

Where do I start? I'll begin with all the little tiny things I want to cherish forever and then move onto the big character stuff. 

Darcy likes little things, she always has. She likes tiny weeny toys that she can clutch in her hands for long periods of time. She likes the brushes you get with My Little Ponies or the accessories that come with Sylvanian Families. Tsum Tsums too are high up on her light of 'good things'. When we were in Seattle this January, I gave her $10 to choose whatever she wanted and she was straight over to the (Anna & Elsa) Tsums. She likes putting things in bags, boxes, tins and baskets. I'll very often find an assortment of random treasure in a handbag or envelope- not always all her own though I'm afraid, a lot of my bits and pieces go missing too! haha. She loves the trampoline and I'm regularly treated to grand performances that she's spend a long time perfecting upstairs. I always make sure to give big, big claps! 

Fussy eating is the bain of my life. I don't think there are a lot of foods that Darcy specifically hates but quite often she'll just decide that she doesn't want to eat something. I have worried and continue to worry that she doesn't eat enough. I offer and offer but mostly she'll take a few bites and say she's done. She eats really well at school with her classmates but at home, she's like a little bird. However, if I were to give her an endless supply of puddings, she'd more than manage. She has a sweet tooth!

Talking of teeth, none lost yet. I have something really special planned when she looses teeth so I'll keep you posted on that. I would hope that if her first tooth fell out whilst she's with her Dad that he'd somehow find a way to share that with me but right now, we are keeping things very separate which is a shame. 

Separation-wise, Darcy seems to be handling everything so, so well. As you know, we share 50/50 and are still both flexible with changing days here and there if needed. I tell Darcy often that Mummy and Daddy love her and when she says, 'I love Daddy', I say, 'I love so much that Daddy loves you' and she seems to really like that. Sometimes she sends texts to each of us from our phones (a great big paragraph of emojis) and we respond with emojis too. We've talked about having 2 teams, a Mummy & Darcy and a Daddy & Darcy team and she loves having 2 bedrooms. I try to be quite honest with Darcy, she has a lot of questions. She knows I have a new man in my life and I've told her he is kind and handsome and funny. As yet, she still hasn't met him but when the time is right, I'll introduce. I feel nervous about that (I'll perhaps write a separate post because this is meant to be all about her). 

Darcy has a huge social group! I've mentioned a few times about my mummy groups and how Darcy and I both love having them. I've made friends with a couple of Mama's on my street and from there we've all met each other's friends too and formed a nice circle of support and fun. Between all of us there are about 15ish littles so Darcy is never short of a friend to play with after school or on the weekend. I don't let her 'play out' (on the street like I did when I was little- I worry about weirdos) but I do let her play in my neighbour friends gardens or have her friends over here to wreck her bedroom (it's amazing how much destruction little children can cause in under an hour). Last night we got back from playdate number 1 with some of the school Mama's and their littles (that's my other Mummy Group) and went straight into playdate number 2 for strawberries and waterfights in a garden with the local littles. Life for Darcy is full of love and friendship and socialising, just as it should be. 

When playing with older children, Darcy loves to observe and be led but when playing with her peers, Darcy is assertive with her ideas. It's almost like in the wild where there is an alpha lion and she respects that but then when everyone is on a level pegging, she gives leading a go. I hope this develops both ways because I think there is something to be said for having the courage to be in charge but then something valuable about knowing when someone else can do it better. 

Sometimes, Darcy is unsure of her own abilities. Before trying something new she needs a lot of encouragement and reassurance. She's not the first kid to jump into the ball pool and it took a lot of praise and cajoling for her to believe she really could buckle up her own seat belt. With time I think she'll grow in self-believe but until then, I'll carry on nudging warmly. 

Screen time is a big thing for my girl. She's loves it! If I would let her watch TV/play on my phone all day, she would. I'm breezy about her watching films (we often snuggle up together for movie time) but I'm a lot stricter about the phone and limit it heavily. Her current favourite app is a Palace Pets game where you groom all the animals and add accessories to them for the Princesses. 

Travelling is another thing Darcy enjoys. This summer I plan to take her to Seattle to visit the Bitsandclips and Matt will be taking her to Orlando for DisneyWorld. She's a lucky kiddo. Before the year is out I'd really like to try DisneyLand Paris with her and I'm looking into Disney Cruises. I'm sticking with the Disney theme because it feels like something we could easily do just the two of us (not booking any holidays with her and bf yet, although him and I might be going somewhere soon yay) without me freaking out or feeling super lonely. When she's older I'd also like to take her to New York for a Mummy & Me trip! 

All in all, I'm really happy with how Darcy is growing up. She's gone from an easy baby, to a fun toddler to a really great child and I'm thrilled to be her Mama! I have lots of plans for our summer so keep your eyes peeled for those or check out my instagram!

Toodlepip!

xx

Sunday, 24 April 2016

Darcy at the Farm


Aloha Sprinklerinos, 

Last week Darcy and I were on the hunt for adventure whilst she still enjoyed the Easter Break and it came in the perfect package of a playdate with some of our friends at a local open farm. 

I took my camera to make a little vlog that you can watch HERE and I *tried* to take a few pictures but quickly gave up! The farm was super busy, I was socialising with the other Mums, looking after Darcy, being chief bag & coat holder AND vlogging, so taking beautiful family photos fell by the wayside but I still wanted to share the couple I did get and talk about the morning.


It was bloomin' lovely! I've never been one for places like that but this one was more of a learning and play facility than an actual stinky farm yard. There was in indoor soft play zone for the children to go gaga in (there were about 8 littles and 4 Mama's all together so Darcy had plenty of friends!), a very sweet animal barn where you were able to go inside the pens and touch the animals (Darcy wasn't too keen on this but I had a good stroke of the fluffy things and wanted to take them all home with me), tiny peddle tractors, donkeys, swings/outdoor playsets, picnic benches, bouncy castles, duck ponds and a cafe- quite a lot to keep you entertained. 


I like that you could go for half an hour (it was about £12 for both me and Darcy) and just do one thing or you could take some nibbly treats and spend the whole day there if you really felt like it. Lots to do for little busy people and plenty of benches for Mama's to watch from! 

(I shared this one on my insta, look at the wind in her hair!)

I'm definitely going to go back in the future with my big girl camera and take some beautiful photographs because I really cherish the high quality ones I've taken in the past. I might need to take a friend to help me out but that just adds to the fun I think. 

I'm always on the look out for fun things to do during the school holidays so please do leave any suggestions you have in the comments below and I'll be sure to check them out!

Toodlepip!

xx


Wednesday, 20 April 2016

Darcy's Princess Party!


Aloha Sprinklerinos,

Prepare yourself for a very photo heavy post (aka the very best kind) because at last I have selected the Birthday Party photographs I'd like to share on the blog. I'm excited. Thankfully on the day my friend Zoe drove up and if there's one person I trust with a camera- it's her! I had so so many to choose from but narrowed it down to this small selection. I plan on printing these, and the ones I didn't share, and displaying them all in an album for Darcy to flick through and enjoy whenever she fancies it.

There were a lorra lorra littles at her party but I'm reluctant to post pictures of other people's children because I know how upsetting that can be if you've not been asked or have specifically said you're not OK with it. So, some of these shots might look a bit like it was just me, Darcy and one or two kiddos (the ones who's Mama's I have permission from) but I promise, it was chaos, haha!  


As part of Darcy's party package she had time playing with all her friends in the soft play zone and then time in the Princess Room. Here she is hanging out (literally) with her friend 'Harby'. Harby and Scarlet are twins and she absolutely loves them. Lucky for me, I rather love their Mummy so it's playdates all round!!


Two beauties. I was so happy that Zoe made the trip up to see us and share Darcy's big day with her. She's been there since the beginning and will be there to the end. 

Below is Darcy having a little Marilyn moment on the toy that blows balls into the air. Slightly blurry shot but I'm just in love with that little face she's pulling. Pure mischief. 


All the excitement of soft play aside, we skipped off to the Princess Room and entered an enchanting world of party food on cake stands atop mushroom tables, tiny speckled stools for the littles to sit on and gorgeous murals all over the walls. It was beautiful. Everything a little girl would want in a party I think. I wished so much that my Mother could be there to see it, I know she would have loved every detail. 




Also in the room were rails upon rails of absolutely gorgeous dresses (and knight-wear for the few boys we had) for the girls to try on. There were staff on hand to help anyone that needed it and they could try on as many as they fancied- Darcy went through about three different selections! <3


Even adults need to try on a tiara here and there, yanno? 




Just secretly wishing my wardrobe at home looked this whimsical. 


My Knight, Dad, ha. I'm so grateful to have had my Dad be such a huge part of my life. He's been so wonderful offering so much help, advice and support these last few months and in the face of real struggle, he's there to soothe. I'm so glad Darcy has him too.



When you're this gorgeous a Princess, everyone wants a snap!!


Available to the children was a glitter tattoo artist which a lot of them loved! If I'd have had time I probably would have asked for some pretty designs too!

Ever seen a grown man with a tiara being attacked by a bunch of unicorn waving five year olds? Now you have!! Quite the action shot there!!


These woman, ooof I love them! You might be interested to know (I always am when I see people that heavily pregnant!), 3 days later, Clare gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. Awww!


As promised last week, more pictures of the cake of princessy dreams!


This is the incredible cake I ordered Darcy. Two tiers of angel sponge, pastel icing with edible glitter and a custom made 'Darcy' figure. In yellow icing it said, 'Happy 5th Birthday Darcy'. I hope to order her a special cake every year.



And there we have it, a small selection of some of the gorgeous snaps from Darcy's 5th Birthday Party. I don't know how we'll top next year because this was so great! If anyone is local to me (Northamptonshire, UK), the event was held at The Hub and the caked was from Gardners Bakery in Kingsthorpe. 

Until next year, that's the last of the Darcy birthday posts but don't worry, it's mine in a couple of weeks so if cake and celebrations are your thing- stick around!!

Toodlepip!

xx 





Saturday, 16 April 2016

Motherhood at 5


Aloha Sprinklerinos,

Earlier this month, my tiny baby turned five. An entire five years of living. Half a decade. 


When I look back, 5 years feels like nothing but also a lifetime. So much has changed. 

Over her birthday I thought about the day(s) I was in hospital bringing her into the world, the hopes I had for her future and the things I learnt during that time. I found delivering Darcy the hardest thing I've ever done. No ifs or buts, child birth and the postpartum recovery can be very rough. I think about it every year and feel little pangs of panic and trauma but each year she gets older, it feels a bit easier. This was the first year I felt really unsupported in those feelings but I know in time I will grow and strengthen and they won't feel so painful. Life is funny isn't it? You have to do the hardest thing you can ever imagine to get the best thing you can ever imagine. She is the best. 


(Thank you so much to my friend Zoe for taking these pictures. I plan on printing some for the house)

Watching Darcy enjoy her day and feel so special was magical. This is a beautiful age. I love that we can talk about fairly deep things, I love the way her mind ticks over and mostly, I love that I can feel our bond deepening. I'll always be her Mother and I'll always love her but honestly, I adore this child. I know we'll be friends when she's an adult. We have similar personalities and I feel like very often I can understand her emotions and thought processes not just because I'm her Mummy and care giver, but because my mind works the same way too. I just get her. 


When she was born I optimistically hoped that our life would be that of the classic family and we'd all eat croissants in bed on a Sunday morning and laugh over dinner each night (and yanno, other non food based activities haha) and all be merry and bright. As you know, life didn't pan out that way and we are now a team of two, Darcy and Louise, on life's big adventure. 



I thought that as I went from parenting team to solo Mama that I would flounder. I thought I would fall short and not be able to give the nourishment that is required. A lot can change in a year. I feel like this has been my best year of Motherhood and that I've truly found my footing with it. When I walk past the Yummy Mummy's at the school gates, I don't feel inferior or like I'm pretending to do an OK job, I feel equal. I am doing a good job. 



(The gorgeous dress Darcy wore for her birthday was from Mothercare and these gifts are from Alfie and Zoe)

I always knew I would love being Darcy's Mother but I didn't always know I would love Motherhood. Does that make any sense? You can love so much to care for your own child but sometimes the role of Motherhood can be a title you don't want to take. It bands you in this big club of navy and white striped tops, sensible handbags with enough space for a bento box, endless chats about who's had what sniffle when and the constant arranging of meet ups at garish soft play centres. For a while I mocked this elite group and steered as far away from it as possible. And then, something changed. 

(Sneak peak of the incredible cake I ordered from the cutest bakery near my house. I'm obsessed with the colours, the glitter, the details. I'll upload the photos of her party soon and show you it more!)

(This is definitely being printed, framed and hung somewhere)

I realised life in the group is better. Motherhood is a privilege. Being with other Mother's is a joy. Their children play with your children, social development heightens, your calendar is filled, your happy memories are plentiful. Darcy loves all the fun we have with her little friends. We go to farms, have parties, have friends over for dinner, go swimming, play in the park and more. She does all these things with children her own age and you hear nothing but giggles and chatting and sweetness. 

For me too, Motherhood has been a saviour. It has been support and kindness and inspiration and motivation. I even have a penchant for a navy and white striped tee. What can I say? They're stylish AND practical haha. 


I made Darcy but Darcy has been the making of me. She has taught me a new kind of love and allowed me to find a new kind of strength. I walk with my head high and my heart full and one day when she's big enough, I will tell her how she made my life complete. 

For now though, she is five and I will let he be that. 

Happy Birthday Darcy, my sweet baby girl. 

Toodlepip!

xx

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