Aloha Sprinklerinos,
As I scrolled through Pinterest this morning looking for Motivational Monday inspiration, I came across this and knew it was perfect.
Some weeks I know exactly what I want to discuss, some weeks there is nothing I want to share and some weeks, like this one, are so full that I don't know where to start. I thought this was apt since it covers a lot of bases.
You would not believe how many times I have written and deleted this blog post. I want to open up and spill my heart out but I'm so conflicted because I also want to maintain my personal standards of using this space to only document and highlight good moments rather than focus on or glorify the bad.
Right now, in this season of life, I feel torn.
Glitter World is sparkling. I've had an amazing LouiseLIVE tour with sell out theatres, a hugely successful book launch with a wonderful book tour, I'm proud of my recent videos, I feel so much love through social media and I have one more exciting thing to launch this summer as well as a tonne of travel plans. I'm so pleased. Last year I felt that I put Glitter World on the back burner whilst I dealt with my breakup but since January I have been getting on my feet and I'm feeling very healed and very able again. In fact, at the start of April my lovely Manager commented that she was glad I was 'back'. It feels good. I love this world so much.
Motherhood too is going well. I've (we've) chosen a great school for Darcy to start at in September, I'm enjoying lots of great Summer activities with her and she continues just to be an absolute joy in my life. Matt and I have a pretty good time share arrangement with her that I think we are managing really well, we're both flexible and we both make sure to spend time as a 3 doing something nice almost weekly because we want to show Darcy that Mummy and Daddy respect and care about one and other, even though we aren't in love anymore. I am glad she will have her happy family memories and also, I'm glad to spend time with Matt because despite not being on Team Marriage anymore, we'll always be on Team Parent together. It's nice.
And here's the conflicting part. I feel afraid quite often.
I do these big events where I meet hundreds of you and you say such wonderful things and I say them back and we have these moments of such amazingness and community and people and buzz and wow and then suddenly, in an instant, I'm sat alone in a lovely hotel room booked by the publishers, with nobody to talk to or tell my day to and I look out the window at the canals below and think, 'I have to appreciate this alone. I have to enjoy and savour this moment by myself. There is nobody that cares about this as much as I do and so this is all on me'. And that is a big burden. I like to share things and experience moments with people and often, there are no people to share them with.
I think I might be sounding like I'm saying, 'uurrrggghhhhh I need a boyfriend to rescue meeeee', but I'm not. If I could have one of my friends just come and do my life with me all the time I would freaking love it haha. Sadly, the logistics of having a friend devote themselves to my work schedule is rather a lot to ask!!
I guess what I'm saying is that I'm struggling with learning to live in the quiet moments. When you have such thrilling amazing things happen that give you such a high, it's a mighty big drop when you come back down to earth and if there is nobody there waiting to grab your hand as you fall, it's rough.
Lately I have been focusing a lot on self care. On finding things to do in the quiet moments that don't involve reaching out to other people to lift me up but instead look at ways to help myself. My friends are always there in times of need but I'm working on turning 'times of need', into 'times of want'.
I've been making brave choices (shall I do a blog post on these? I feel like that would be uplifting and potentially uplifting?) and embracing new experiences so this I feel is a big leap forward.
Sooooo, at the moment, life is smooth seas with a few storms and I'm leaning to navigate them as best I can.
If you feel like things are hard, know that I am with you. I'm facing challenges too and we will learn to be such wonderful sailors because of it.
Toodlepip!
xx
Well I think your navigating pretty well.
ReplyDeletewww.britishbeautyaddict.com
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DeleteA few years ago, I went through a marriage break up and basically, it sucked. I was living with my sister at the time and when she moved out a couple of years later, it took me so long to get used to the quiet times. I have a dog who's great company, but even though I chat to him, he doesn't talk back!
ReplyDeleteI've gotten used to my own company and like having the place to myself, but if there's one place that makes me feel lonely, it's Ikea on a weekend! It's so weird but I see families going around the place together and hopefully someday I'll have that, but for now, it's just me.
I started blogging back then to distract me from everything and it was the best thing I could've done. You will still struggle with having to do grown up things by yourself, but you'll adjust and you'll be so proud of yourself that you were able to fix something yourself or put together a load of flatpack Ikea furniture! I did that last weekend and was delighted with life.
You're gonna be grand missus and are handling this all better than you realise.
Karen
www.lovelygirliebits.com
Really great motivation!!
ReplyDeleteCANDICE | BEAUTY CANDY LOVES
Louise, you fill my heart with wonderful. I think you deal with everything life throws at you with grace and dignity, I am constantly impressed by how well you manage everything! You have such a busy hectic life, you're one of the few big youtubers that seems to continue regularly blogging after their youtube has taken off. That is a feat in itself, it's hard to maintain regular content for a blog, let alone a blog, two youtube channels, a book, raising a child, travelling over the world, dealing with a break up and managing to keep that a friendly and mature one, a positive one for Darcy. You are incredible and I love you! I'll always be reading, I tend not to comment but I felt this time that I wanted to.
ReplyDeleteLots of love
This really has meant a lot to me, thank you so much. Louise xxx
DeleteI volunteer to be the "listen to my happiness and be happy with me" friend! We may be through a screen but us Sprinklerinos are here with you Louise! And yes, a blog post about your brave decisions sounds very uplifting and inspiring.
DeleteYou're doing so well with everything louise and I'm incredibly proud of you. This was such a lovely heartfelt and motivating post. Life is full of obstacles but through love and support just know you can get through them. I completely understand where you're coming from, I may not do as many crazy events like you, however after experiencing big events or fun activites with friends, I find it hard to sit on my own and deal with the quiet times. Least we can do it together eh, much love ❤️
ReplyDeletedellalovesnutella.blogspot.co.uk
I get what you mean about wanting to have a friend to share the quiet times with (my best friend gets subjected to EVERYTHING of mine) but well done for trying to do a bit of the self help yourself. Go you!
ReplyDeleteMy parents divorced when I was about Darcys age and I deep down wish they had handled it the way you are! You are setting a path for a vary happy little glitter with faith in family and love.
ReplyDeleteI would love to see a post on those brave choices! You are already inspirational in life and business.
You are an amazing mother, role model, and business women
Enjoy your time to date and care for yourself, your work is amazing now focus on Team Louise!
Louise, you truly inspire me each and every day. I love that you focus on the positives as much as you can but you also do open up to us Sprinklerinos when times are tough because it makes us feel like we are there with you and shows you care so much about us!
ReplyDeleteI have always lacked confidence but watching your vlogs and reading your blog posts truly inspire me to look at the positives to improve my overall look on life whilst also accepting that times can be tough but they can be what make us a better person (sailors).
Thank you for always being there and please know that we are always there for you too! p.s. You're an amazing mum and as I'm doing a primary teaching course, I know I hope to have children as wonderful as Darcy in my class! :)
The world is a storm of vapidity and shallowness and you Louise, are an island of positivity, depth and uplift where people come to take shelter from the storm. When you have those moments in lonely hotel rooms maybe keep a scrap book of all the positive impact you have had on people's lives through your work. Every smile you cause counts! Bands have it easy cause they socialise together post-show. Its amazing what a quick bite to eat together or a drink/walk before bed can do. Helps unwind at a steadier rate, slow down the adrenaline rather than just cut it off!
ReplyDeleteAnyway, know what you do is amazing and rare and valuable in today's society, and if you're ever in our neck of the woods you're more than welcome instead of a hotel for chat comfort and home cooked food! xx
It's inspiring how you've managed to sail through everything Louise. I'm a proud Sprinklerino. You always manage to lift everyone's spirits up with these thoughtful posts and your personality is really adorable. You talk/write like a true friend. Keep rocking Louise!
ReplyDeletewww.annescribblesanddoodles.blogspot.com
I definitely understand that feeling, Louise. Honestly you are going to be a much stronger and independent person; learning to enjoy success and accomplishments alone is a huge deal and something that not many people do in their life. ♥
ReplyDeleteErin | Being Erin
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ReplyDeleteYou are such an inspiration Louise!
ReplyDeleteBeing alone can definitely be tough sometimes, but you'll be fine, you are strong!
xx
https://woodlandhalls.wordpress.com
Louise,
ReplyDeleteI just want to tell you that these fellings you are experiencing are totally normal, sometimes the worst thing about feeling alone is feeling alone while feeling alone (wow that was a mouthful). By sharing these thoughts with the community you created you are in fact letting those who feel the same way know that they are not alone. I struggle with similar problems but on the other side of the spectrum, my life is at a total stand still with no one to talk to, but you learn to adapt to it i guess?
The idea of independence is one that I struggle to get to grips with if i'm honest, because as humans we strive for a connection with someone. I look at you and see a strong, beautiful role model for all the young viewers you have, you are there for them and they are indeed there for you. This is one of the most sincere posts i've read by you and I really hope it's not the last, writing it down always makes me feel better as it feels like I am sharing my moments with that person I am missing in my life.
I am a 22 year old guy and you still manage to inspire me (!?!?) (I'm not a creep i swear). Being alone with your thoughts is the worst, but turn them into positive thoughts and you'll never feel alone again.
x
I know the feeling, do your best to be strong, and you will overcome it eventually. Only time can tell what the future holds. <3
ReplyDeletehttp://mundanemuggles.com/
Louise,
ReplyDeleteI like that you open yourself up like this. You consistently remain one of my favorite YouTubers to follow because you are 1) my age and 2) I feel like we are very similar in many ways. I am happily married and don't understand divorce, but I do understand the feelings of being alone with yourself - I did it for quite a while. It is difficult to be alone in those moments... both happy and sad. The feeling of loneliness is a hard one to cope with. However, I think it makes you a stronger version of yourself in the end. Also, I would love to read about the brave choices that you've been making! You inspire me regularly. :)
Lots of love,
Jen @ itsjennybelle.com
I've gone through this same journey with myself through the last years of college and the couple years since I graduated. I used to think that I would just feel lonely forever but I promise that you really can learn to be fully happy and enjoy time on your own. Don't get me wrong - everyone has moments of loneliness, no matter what. But it's possible to get to a stage where it's not because you don't know how to be by yourself or celebrate on your own. It all came from 'making brave choices' as you say, and pushing myself to go and just DO those things that linger at the back of my mind like 'I think I'd like to do that one day'. The most important thing is to encourage yourself and just enjoy and soak up every moment of beauty around you. One thing that helped me in those lonely moments was keeping a journal where I would write the good things from the day. I did it initially to help myself see that even the worst days have silver linings, but then I realized it also helped when I came home to an empty apartment from a great day with my friends or a successful dance show or something. I could be by myself, still revel in the happiness of the day because it had a purpose (to write it down), and then that helped me transition into my alone time. It's funny, I think it's because I've gone through that same journey that I felt what you were feeling when you vlogged from that hotel room post-book launch. I think I'm still on that journey but that overall I've come out on top. You can do it too. xxShachi
ReplyDeletePeopleIMetInMyTwenties.com
I'm going through a break-up at the moment and this is killing me so I have no idea how you're feeling after ending a marriage/relationship of so long. Just know that you have lots of friends through your Youtube and blog that would always be there for you!
ReplyDeleteNatalie Ann xo // Petal Poppet Blogs ♥
I know what you are talking about...I guess you could look at this time as your maturing time. I am much older than you, in fact, I have a daughter your age and these times are the ones my daughter looks at me and says "Is this one of those things that you didn't tell me about!" Yeah, somethings we can't prepare our children for. Thru this uncomfortable sometimes painful journey you are on, use this time to get to know Louise. Once we become a mommy and a wife, our identities just kind of fade away. You know what I mean? So when you are in that hotel room, grab a journal and write down what you are feeling, get it out. Then you can share it over and over. You can see how far you are getting in your journey to get to know yourself again. We grow thru the bad times the most. You will get on the other side, it's just easier if you don't dig in your feet and just go with it.
ReplyDeleteI think that you're coping with everything really well. I promise that eventually you will learn to cope with situations more on your own. I hated it at first being by myself but you learn to eventually appreciate it. I love being by myself now as awful as it sounds and even though i have a boyfriend now i like to take time out by myself and be able to reflect on things and it can actually help you think more clearly even if you don't currently think so. It will get better i promise! Keep your head held high! you're doing great Louise!
ReplyDelete/ emmajanecarruthers.blogspot.co.uk
I always look forward to you motivational monday posts, Louise! This summer, I've been doing a lot of new things by myself such as doing some DIY, and putting more effort into my blog. As much as I love doing exciting things and being with my friends, and as much as I'm looking forward to being busy again at university, I really want to give myself some time this summer for the little things I enjoy :)
ReplyDeleteblogjustabubble.blogspot.com
Hey Louise, I totally agree on this feeling. Not having had a boyfriend ever, I feel like there is nobody ever to understand and fully appreciate all my little successes and happy moments. And I also don't wanna bother my friends and family with things I found funny or interesting or that I'm proud of. I definitely need some more practice in appreciating me-time rather than feeling lonely.
ReplyDeleteI also very much enjoyed the quote. It makes me trying to appreciate the learning aspect of hard times.
Thanks for your honesty. I really enjoy your long blog posts, where you just talk about your current feelings. They activate my brain to think and just reflect on my life.
Thanks!
Uh and by the way: I enjoy your book a lot!
You are doing so well, I am super proud of you Louise! Can't wait to get my hands on your book ;D xx
ReplyDeletehttp://mumx3x.blogspot.co.uk
Having been single forever, I rely on family to share the good and the bad with - parents in particular. You aren't 'bothering' them, they must be delighted to hear about all your successes. I can understand that after marriage you must be used to there being another person there to sort of 'validate' your feelings, but if you can savour those moments of calm and reflect rather than see them as scary, it can really help you from the inside.
ReplyDeleteDoes having someone else change your achievements? YOU know your strengths and your story, and who is going to affect that? No-one. It just feels nice to share, and for now you have more time to yourself than usual, so use it to acknowledge all you have done and are working on yourself. X
I admire you for speaking about your struggles and being real. Glad to know that other people do have some doubts. I am a new blogger and I also struggle with what I should put out there. Psalm 34:18 is a good verse to read and check out for some uplifting. I also know that when I speak to God during my quiet time he is always listening. I have a motivational blog section called Sanctuary Sundays, I would love your feed back. Good luck on all your endeavors I cant wait to read more.
ReplyDeleteFaith, Hope, & Love ~ Erica
www.Jetdresserica.com
I am so proud of you Louise, I love these posts.
ReplyDeletehttp://lxdia.blogspot.co.uk/
I look forward to these posts Louise. Over the past year you have fast become my biggest role model and my favourite YouTuber. It is posts like these that show us that you are human like us, that we can really relate to that I love particularly. Just know that we all love and support you. I'm so incredibly proud of you for how you and Matt are co-parenting Darcy, I think she will really grow to appreciate the relationship you two now have. XOXO
ReplyDeleteLovely, honest post. You are a huge inspiration. <3
ReplyDeleteI’ve dealt with more than ten different financial institution in the past years. Myers Universal Universal Corporation (MUC) rates number one for selecting the best program and then providing excellent service from beginning to end. MUC has always been the go-to lender for Lease real estate financing or any type of financing. Their team is readily available for all of our financing needs. i am a testimony so i recommend all in need of finance to contact through email: (earlmyers1963@hotmail.com)
ReplyDeleteHey Louise, I don't know if you are familiar with the actress Lana Parrilla, but she has a motto which says
ReplyDelete"You are where you need to be. Take a deep breath."
I thought maybe that might help you
xx
touching post :) and please make posts also about your brave choices!! x
ReplyDeleteEverything you are doing is amazing and just remember all the amazing people you have in your life even if they can't be with you all the time and who knows who you will meet in the future xx
ReplyDeletewww.courtneyellenx.blogspot.com
I loved this post. I'm so like you, there are times when I just want someone to share the ups and downs with. Someone to high five and jump on the bed with when something fricken awesome happens. Then there are other times when I'm content with my friends and family and just being me. It's hard, this single thing, and ever so lonely at times. Sending huge hugs you way!
ReplyDeleteC x | Lux Life
Louise! If I could just cheer you up anyhow. You're my role model, absolutely! And though the things I do are not as huge as these that you do, I do, however, understand you well. You see, today I graduated. I ended three most demanding years of English-Russian applied linguistics. I ended three years of waking up from 4am to 6am (approximately) and studying so hard I wanted to quit. I am supposed to be feeling super super SUPER proud. But instead I am just kinda glad it's over. As if this wasn't all thanks to my dedication and studying and having absolutely no life at all. Instead I feel like a massive loser who agreed to all that. I don't know, I'm no good at living my life on my own and there's no friends and fireworks and parties and stuff to make me feel proud. I know it makes no sense and perhaps I should be content with all the Facebook wishes and congratulations and stuff but I don't know.. What I do know, however, is that Sprinkleofglitter world has been a safe and friendly and cheerful and motivational (is that the way to put it?) place for me for quite some time now so thank you for making me feel better, Louise. Hope you'll feel better soon, too, cause you're a precious human being! Love you! xx
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with everything you've said Louise. I have just come out of a two year relationship, which was rough. My motivational monday was actually names 'A Tough Post' this Monday because I too can not just pretend everything is hunky dory. You've been very brave, we are all proud!
ReplyDeletewww.secretdiaryofabeautyblogger.blogspot.com
I needed this so so much today. Thank you Louise xxx
ReplyDeleteThese are some of my favourite blog posts ever in the history of everything, they're just so inspirational, motivational and true. Hope the storms die down :)
ReplyDeleteXO
emsirose.blogspot.com
Definitely post about your brave choices! But also know that taking about your difficult times does not go against the positive "glitteriness." By sharing these things, you ARE spreading a positive message: it is okay to not be happy all the time, none of us are alone in that, and we can all be there for each other. Thanks for being open and spreading love :)
ReplyDeletei love this. sometimes you forget the sheer amazingness of the things you achieve when you can't share the moment with somebody else but these are YOUR moments to enjoy. taking chances and embracing new adventures is the perfect thing to do x
ReplyDeletehttp://the-dress-diaries.blogspot.co.uk
am hoping to get some compensation for my daughter and her friend who turned up five minutes before the end of Louise's book signing in London on Friday only to be told she had left early.
ReplyDeleteMy daughter and her friend were totally disappointed and the staff at Waterstone's were totally embarrassed by her early departure.
My daughter and friend who are 12 had spent their pocket money on a ticket and taken a train into London especially to meet Louise ( who has built her career on her followers). She totally let these girls down and should have left on the time stated on the ticket.
I loved your blog for ages and I just recently started a one by myself so if you wouldn’t mind, could you check it? Thank you xx rachelbellebeauty.blogspot.com.es
ReplyDeleteLovely post Louise! You've been doing amazing work with your Youtube channel, well done :)
ReplyDeletewww.elevatorbrain.blogspot.com
I completely get what you mean when sometimes you feel like nobody understands or shares the same enthusiasm about what you do. It;s only normal for you to want people to sing your praises from time to time but hey you have an amazing blog and are great at what you do. You are an inspiration to a newbie blogger like me and thank you for being so honest and talking about true and real feelings. sabiha xx
ReplyDeletefranklyflawless.com
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ReplyDeleteThis is so lovely. I am so excited you're learning to enjoy your quiet moments as they are just as important as the busy ones. I always look forward to your updates, you're such a strong woman. <3
ReplyDeletebeinglayne.blogspot.com
These posts are why I always look forward to Monday. This is such a lovely post and I am glad you are able to talk about these sorts of things. This is your blog so it is your choice what you write, it doesn't always have to be happy. I definitely agree with this post. Hope you know we are all with you too, even if we are not in person.
ReplyDeleteBeth x
www.hellobeth.co.uk
This is such a great 'motivational monday' post! So relatable to my life at the moment, also learning to love my time 'being alone'. This is lovely xx
ReplyDeletewww.mejordyn.blogspot.com
So much honesty, wish you the best with the challenges you are facing. I'm also in love with your book Louise!
ReplyDeletehttp://sincerly-ady.blogspot.co.uk/
Honestly Louise this post was still in a wat uplifting because I now know I'm not the only person experiencing these emotions and that is such a huge relief!!!! Sometimes I feel so lonely and friendless but its good to be alone sometimes!!!! So why do I get so sad about it!!!!! When I feel like this I usually read a magazine or facetime a friend or just go for a walk. Getting out of the house can be the best medicine! Sometimes when I feel bad I'm just overtired and taking a nap changes my perspective on everything by the time I wake up! You may feel alone but you're not alone in feeling this way!
ReplyDeleteDon't feel conflicted with this post louise! We love when you share with us, good or bad we follow you for YOU!
I hope things look up :)
Jade
http://www.accidentallyjade.blogspot.com
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteSometimes you have to get used to being On your own haha
ReplyDeleteDanielle Mac
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ReplyDeleteCan I take a minute to be honest with you Louise?
ReplyDeleteFor the longest time I feel like I have been afraid of my own shadow. I never wanted to put myself out there and take a peek over the ridiculous high brick wall I had built up (feels a bit like the wall from game of thrones) Reading your Blog and watching your Youtube videos have inspired me, and brick by brick the wall is slowly going down, and I want to thank you for that from the bottom of my heart. I started my own blog back in march and last month I did something I have always want to do and started uploading videos on youtube (bloody terrifying though) Nothing had happened, but I feel liberated somehow.
You touch so many people with you kindness, it is hard to find a way to pay you back for all the help you give people from a far. I have never met you personally, but that doesn't mean I don't see you as a friend ( which is starting to make me sound more like a stalker (especially considering we live in the same town) I guess what I am trying to say (and making a right pig's ears out of it) Is that when you feel alone and down, just think of all the good that has happened, all the good that you are and all the good you have done for people. Nothing can stop the bad from coming, but that doesn't mean you have to let it ruining your enjoyment of life. And Hey! if you ever need a friend I am always here for you. I think we all are.
Kerry
xXx
http://kezzytwoleftfeet.blogspot.co.uk/
Strange this post is totaly unrelated to what I was searching google for, but it was listed on the first page. I guess your doing something right Pure Testo Xplode if Google likes you enough to put you on the first page of a non related search. helpful. writers I dont really It is refreshing to find people who write like they know what they are talking about http://www.strongmenmuscle.com/pure-testo-xplode/
ReplyDeleteLouise, I'm glad you're back on your feet! You're such an inspiration to many around the world and especially young adults like me. I can't thank you enough for being so happy and bright and cheery in your posts - inspires me to cheer up too!
ReplyDeletetouchofgucci.blogspot.com.au/
I was feeling pretty panicked before I read this and it's really good to know that someone else has the same fears and problems (well our problems are a bit different but we seem to process them the same haha). I really love that I can come to this blog and read a post that I can relate to. Thanks for being so inspirational and helpful! Hope things keep going well for you!
ReplyDeleteI love posts like these, it shows us that none of us are alone in how we're feeling and that we're all human. You are such an inspiration xx
ReplyDeleteablogbymegan.blogspot.com
Such an honest and open post. I loved the quote. Louise, you are doing so well for yourself but it must be hard sometimes. Being alone and being lonely is different, right? Sending all the love <3 <3
ReplyDeleteZoe
http://www.z0elouise.blogspot.com
I love this post a lot Louise, because I am going through similar emotions my self, your motivational mondays always cheer me up, and I defiantly think you should write a blog post on brave choices, because everyone needs a bit of encouragement to take a leap of faith :) xxx
ReplyDeleteI read this on my phone first, and then came on my computer just so I could comment on this. I've been going through the same thing very recently, and I thought it was just me being silly. I have an amazing life, and I'm very happy most of the time, but when everything is calm again and I'm on my own in my room, I really struggle. Thank you so much for writing this, it helped me feel like I'm not alone, and it's not just me being silly.
ReplyDeleteI love you, Louise!
theamandaway.blogspot.com
Louise you are incredible. You are a role model to so many people and opening up to all of the sprinklerinos like this makes us love and respect you so much more. You are doing an amazing job with everything that you do. Congratulations on everything. You deserve every success.
ReplyDeleteLouise! You're a beauty, and a brave and strong soul who I look up to in truckloads. I'm a 22 yr old viewer so a little older maybe than most of your audience but I still feel all warm and squishy and relateable to when I watch or read your stuff. You're like the Mum of youtube (in a very youthfully hip and modern way, not at all fuddy duddy or old ;) )
ReplyDeleteAnyways, I have some advice which I dish out in response to most of the problems people I like talk about and thats a little thing called mindfulness. A lot of the people in your circle are anxiety sufferers so you probably know what it is anyway but I feel like its such a beneficial skill to have even when you aren't feeling anxious because it really helps to ground you. There's this really amazing book called The Happiness Trap by a guy called Russ Harris that introduces it really well and sort of guides you through how to live more mindfully-I highly recommend. Living in this glorious and fast paced world that you inhabit through your career would be freaking exhausting I'm sure, and feeling afraid to appreciate little happy moments by yourself would be, well... scary. I get it, we all get. We're pretentious narcissistic gen Y, we all know the fear that comes with being alone. But if you can learn to just like be having a moment of "wow" when theres no one to share it with and be able to learn to just mentally pause on your feelings and emotions in that moment, through mindfulness training, it might help you to alleviate some of that fear stuff :)
In concusion; you are great and hilarious and I wish we were buddies, stay awesome! And buy that book ;) xox
I needed some motivation for the day, THANK YOU!!
ReplyDeletewww.skinrays.blogspot.co.uk
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ReplyDeleteYou're blog is so inspiring, all your posts are lovely and always cheer me up. You always think of the positives in everything which makes me feel really happy. You are a great role model and motivate me so so much. I think you deal with everything life throws at you in such a positive and wonderful manner. I am impressed by how well you manage everything in your busy life, I bet it's hard to maintain a blog, two you tube channels, a book, a wonderful child, travelling over the world and dealing with a break up. You are just incredible!
ReplyDeleteAlso I hope Darcy enjoys starting school in September and I bet it will be lovely!
I am a new blogger and blog reader and I'm so inspired by you. I already love you and I will always be here!! Alayna xxx
http://chickala.blogspot.co.uk/
I feel like you are a role model for how to deal with the balance between life online and offline, not just for bloggers and YouTubers but for everyone. If you deal with your issues in your personal life without tweeting or blogging every 5 minutes about how terrible you feel you will respect yourself more and others will respect you too. I have a lot of respect for you with how you have handled this really tough time in your life.
ReplyDeletehttp://whatdoesmelthink.blogspot.co.uk/
I can completely sympathize - sometimes life is so wild and exciting that you want someone to share it with. You're not alone in feeling this way, I just keep telling myself good things come to those who wait. I bet something amazing is right around the corner waiting for you. As much as I adore your beauty and fashion posts, motivational mondays are always my favourite! The posts are always so heartfelt.
ReplyDeleteVictoria x
http://thiscellardoor.blogspot.co.uk/
I can relate to this. I have pretty much been single my whole life and don't have as many friends as I would like to, so I often have that feeling of 'I wish I could share this moment with someone'. Loving having you fully back in the Glitter World though xx
ReplyDeleteamanilyrical.com
I'm experiencing a similar thing having broken up with my boyfriend of four years recently. Sometimes I feel like I've moved on and I'm really happy but when I'm alone it's often a different story. I know that's hardly comparable to marriage but the feelings are still there and are similar. I hope you find solace in knowing how loved and admired you are (especially by little Darcy!) and that you are never, truly alone <3
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Aloha, Louise! I am so proud of you and how you seem to be handling all the changes of this last year! You have a positive attitude and I appreciate you sharing your fears--I've been having a hard year and hearing about your take on things is inspiring and encouraging to me. I can't wait to see you at Vidcon and wish you all the best! Toodlepip! Lauren <3
ReplyDeleteYou are more inspiring than you realize. You beautiful soul.
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It is amazing how great you treat this situation with the end of your relationship and that you can go on to good. I love how you both always only want the best for your little one.
ReplyDeleteI have seen the breaking up of my parents and I can tell you that it you be way worse, for every one of you.
I can feel with you with such situations of falling down and not having someone who is there for you...well I´ve never bin in a situation where hundreds of fans come to only see you for a second and telling you the sweetest things ;) but I´ve been in situations, either good or bad, where you are high above the clouds and coming down to earth can be a very hard experience if you have to face them alone. But I absolutely love your intension to turn these frightening feelings into something good...man that is one inspiring thing ;) ...I am always trying this too, but I have not been to successful yet, I´ll keep on doing my best.
I am 100% sure that you will make it and turn these lonely feelings and moments into a good thing, a time of calming down and just reflecting how amazing everything was and at least there is no one waiting for and wanting something ;) Its only you and your feelings and your success and that is a time of enjoying your success, everything you and you alone worked so hard for ♥
and you know that there are so many people loving your work and appreciating everything you do and you know that your community is there for you...always people to share your thoughts with ;) ♥
Isn´t that the most amazing thing about social media ;)
You know you are strong and brave and inspiring and helping and positive and beautiful and loved and the only thing you have to learn is to appreciate your self and the peaceful and silent time in your own company :) ♥ you can make it :D
I know it sounds totally stupid...me saying this without even knowing you...
but I really hope you know how I mean it
♥♥♥
I too know how you feel. My husband left me 6 months after losing one of my baby twins, 6 years ago. I had to learn how to be a mummy, and try not to grieve. I was both desperately sad, but wanted so much to be desperately happy. Silence was the worst thing, but I couldn't go out as I was too scared to lose my other tiny baby, my precious, my saviour. I have doubted being a good mummy but today in her school report, reading it with tears running down my eyes, she is the most amazing, intelligent, friendly, confident, caring, considerate, independent, popular little lady, and that is partly because of me :-) all of those words were used in her report and more.... I'm so proud. We look after each other, we are best friends and two peas in a pod. God it’s hard. I still hate silence. My next battle is upon me, taken me 4 years to get a divorce and that awful man is trying to take the roof from over our daughters head. He has hardly been in her life, choosing to live and work in Hong Kong paying for his affair to visit him. If that wasn't bad enough, now this. I can't afford my solicitor, so am doing this alone, think it will go the whole way to court as he is being so unreasonable. Court was scary. I am a strong, confident woman. My volunteering that I threw myself in to after my son became my shining star, saw me carry the Olympic torch. I have trekked 40 miles over night over the South Downs raising £3,000 with the girls for charity, and the list goes on. You are a strong confident women, there is nothing wrong, it’s never a weakness wanting to share your life with someone, and when the time is right you will have that and appreciate it even more. Get in a bubble bath with a glass of prosecco or sit out on the balcony with an amazing book. It’s just a small period in your life to take some time to reflect on how amazing you are doing. xxxxx
ReplyDeleteIn response to your last section, I know that everyone has those moments. I used to look on Facebook or Instagram and see my friends having these amazing adventures and start to get jealous/anxious that I was missing out. I'd be at home watching Netflix or getting distracted with other things and then start feeling down because I wasn't having as much fun as them. I feel like it's a little relevant in that not everyone is as happy as they seem all the time. There are moments when people are down or lonely but they are the times that often people aren't aware of that. I think there should be some kind of social app that allows people to chat and engage when they're feeling down in the dumps or just want to talk to someone and share something about their day. There isn't always that opportunity to tell someone (or maybe you want to tell someone anonymous). Hmm San Fran/Silicon Valley people should get on that haha.
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ReplyDeleteThe feeling of being alone sucks, take care of you! And I'm so proud of you! :)
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Excellent Louise - something I need to remember.
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hey Louise! I know you get this daily but I love you so much! Your videos are great and I adore your blog! I have admired you and Zoe's blogs for years and finally got the courage to start my own! It's pretty crap tbh but thanks for helping to inspire me! I'm having a lot of fun blogging I wrote my first post yesterday, I won't be starting youtube because I'm still a bit nervous . . .. haha blogging is a great start tho I'm really enjoying designing my blog :) Thanks again, if you even glanced at my blog it would mean a lot. I have had a fair few page views but no followers yet hahahaha ily! (And Darcy xxx)
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ReplyDeleteI seriously admire you Louise, and look up to you so much, for reasons that I can't even begin to explain. Keep doing what you're doing because you're doing an amazing job and I am really proud to call you one of my favourite YouTubers xxx
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I got tears in my eyes reading your words, Louise. Your words speak to me on such a personal level. I am going through very similar emotions, but in different situations.
ReplyDeleteI too am grateful for the things that are going well. I have a job where I get to do what I love, and work together with lovely people, and I'm about to move into my very own appartment for the first time, very soon. But, the reasons why those wonderful things are happening to me, are actually breaking my heart.
Why I got (back my old) job, and why I am about to live on my own is due to the situation with my mother. At the age of 24, I still live at home with her. However, she has her own personal issues which I cannot cope with anymore. Ever since I decided to actively protect myself from her behavior, things have all changed drastically. This is worse than all that've ever experienced (which, quite frankly, is a lot of crazy sh*t). My mother is so vitally important to me, but she is also the most toxic person in my life. It is insanely upsetting and confusing.
What makes it even harder is that I have (literally) no other family members other than her to rely on, or talk to. Also, I have no friends who I can confide in, and pour my heart out. It is in difficult times that you learn who your real friends are. But as it turns out, I have no friends, no one who truly cares about me.
I wish someone would just take care of me as well. Someone who would just look me in the eye and say "you don't have to be so strong anymore. You've been strong for the past 24 years. You're tired and lost, so let me hold you while you tell me what going on". But I know that's not going to happen. I know I have to push through, even though I have no energy left in my bones of doing so. The despair and depression I feel is SO insanely hard to fight against - the only thing I know, is that I don't want the feeling of "what's the point of me being here anymore" to win. I hold on for dear life to the remaining sparkle of hope I have left, and I keep hoping that I will eventually get my life back on track, in which I live happily and peacefully in my new appartment, and that I will eventually meet people who actually care about me, and who influence my life with positivity.
Gosh, I really had to get this off my chest. I don't know if you, or anyone else will read this. It's just that no one in my surroundings seems to realize/want to acknowledge how lost and confused I feel in this period of my life (despite me being honest to everyone about my situation). You opening up about your feelings with such honesty, made me feel comfortable enough to do so as well. So thank you Louise - I needed this <3 It makes me feels less alone.
Aah this helps Louis it really does!! Just knowing that someone else is also struggling soothes myfrustration a little bit. And makes me realise that what is making me feel this way shouldn't control my daily life as much as it is right now. Makes me think of the song "So Small" by Carrie Underwood.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Rose <3
Louise** hahaha sorryy
DeleteLoving this post Louise! Self care is so important! Try to see those privat moments more as "me-time" rather than "alone -time". :)
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Hi Louise! (and other commenters :] )
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure if someone else has mentioned this yet or not but here goes! What you're experiencing is actually not unlike a phenomenon that musicians experience. Living a life in the limelight(ish) where you go to "concerts," or in your case releasing books, doing live shows, having successful interviews or videos etc. creates a lot of highs that send endorphins to your brain. Assuming that you've been able to conquer some of the anxiety that can come along with those scenarios, that can leave you feeling pretty incredible when you achieve these moments, but then when you go back to "normal life," or even end the evening going to bed, the endorphins leave and you come crashing down. This can result in lower feelings and even depression, because although life's highs seem higher, the lows feel lower in contrast as well. Psychologists are currently studying this phenomenon, and I can't remember what it is officially called to tell you the truth but you can look it up and find more information online, surely.
Anyway, not to ramble at you, but the point is to tell you that you are absolutely not alone and a lot of the reason for these feelings is biological in essence.
Love you and your work,
Kayla
PS I hope that didn't sound like I meant your experience isn't unique, because it is! I just want you to know that others are experiencing similar things and it's going to be okay. xx
Hi Louise. i watch your videos regularly. i am also struggling with loneliness. im 29 years old ,divorced with no kids. im a doctor by profession and when ever im free i watch your videos and bits n clips. ive been feeling really lonely these past few days. i do a lot of work to keep myself busy but when i come home i have to control my sadness. your blog makes me realize im not alone. And ive decided to do some thing positive and say yes to things im scared about.
ReplyDeleteI think you are a very brave and strong person! Sometimes in life there are really good times and other times are really bad. But I believe life is a test and when you pull through you will become so much stronger because of it. Keep being true to yourself and the equilibrium will fall into place :)
ReplyDeleteHey Louise,
ReplyDeleteI know the feeling you're talking about very well. A bit too well for my taste. So I wanted to share with you what I do in those moments.
I journal a lot. Having a personal journal and sometimes writing pages and pages of thoughts and the things you did throughout the day can help. Or you can make lists of shows you want to watch, gift ideas for people, books to read, things to do, ...
It all really helps me get into my own personal bubble and feel like I'm sharing what's on my mind somehow.
Self care is very important. So make yourself a nice cup of tea and appreciate the liberties you have *because* you're alone in this moment.
I really hope this feeling passes soon, whether you learn to cope with it or find someone to share all of it with.
I really do appreciate you a lot.
Lots of love,
May
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This is the moment when I find out that you and Matt have put an end to your marriage. I'm feeling sad because I thought you two are great parents and perhaps a couple too. But I guess love is not easy to maintain. I don't know what to say now. I didn't expect this. But I see that Darcy is happily growing up in the presence of both parents no matter what.
ReplyDeleteDespite everything you're a wonderful mother, a wonderful person I believe. Just know that you're not alone even if you do feel so and you've got more motivation than you know. Life is going on and so are you! Make the best of it!
xoxo,
Tanya
P.S. Definitely do a blog post about brave choices!!
Love this quote!
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It's comforting to know someone else is feeling this way, I've just ended a long term relationship i had been with him since we were fifteen and now at almost twenty i'm finding it really difficult to adjust to just having myself in the quiet moments and I'm also having to push myself a lot and be brave doing things on my own which i find very difficult as I have bad anxiety at times and going places alone is something I struggle with. So i'd like to say thank you for sharing because it gives me and millions of others a friend in the quiet lonely times xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx <3<3<3<3<3
ReplyDeleteFor a long time I have struggled with a lot of things. There was a version of me that I showed the world and then a version that I showed myself. Neither of them were real. I got so good at faking smiles and happiness that I began to fool myself. I to, found that my moments alone in my own thoughts were the scariest of all. I forever will be afraid of the quiet. I am my own worst critic, in the worst kind of way. I am slowly learning that the person I am is enough. I'm learning that the actions of others aren't in my control. I am learning that its ok for me to be happy. Most importantly I'm learning to love myself. Thank you Louise for creating this post. Our struggles are not identical, but when I finished reading this post I didn't feel so alone anymore. :) - With love, Skin
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