Aloha Sprinklerinos,
I think there might be something in the air at the moment. Maybe it's because it's Spring or maybe because Darcy is officially not a baby anymore (I decided 2 was the cut off point), but a LOT of people in my personal life and my Sprinkle of Glitter life have been asking, 'When will you have your next baby?' and I don't know how I feel about being asked that.
(If you haven't tried a chocolate cream frapperchino with a shot of peppermint from Starbucks yet, you haven't lived. Also, how tranquil is this little spot we like to go to? B-e-a-utiful)
On one hand I think, 'ooohhhh I suppose it's natural to ask since I have a toddler and a husband and am blessed to be physically able to have another (I think)'. But then on the other hand I think, 'why are you presuming that I would want to increase my family size and why is it any of your business whether my Husband is going to impregnate me with his sperm?!?'. Yeah, that just got graphic.
A lot of my friends are in the 'we want multiple children' camp, some already do and some have buns cooking in ovens as I type. For them I am pleased. Brave are the woman who push a human out of their nether regions and then opt to do it again. Selfless are the women who happily change nappies for years and give up their sleep. I really do admire them.
For me though, at the moment, I'm not there. I'm not saying I've entirely ruled out the prospect of more little glitters, but right now, I'm enjoying my life.
I enjoy being (for the first time ever) financially stable and able to support Darcy. I enjoy the little luxuries we now have. I enjoy that she sleeps through the night and I enjoy my job that I can give a lot of myself to. For me, at the moment, I feel like three is the perfect number. Matt and I get to spend so much fun time with Darcy, we get to do fun things as a couple because she's such an easy kid to babysit and I get to spend enough time writing this blog and filming my videos. At the moment, everyone is a winner.
So lovely Sprinklerino, next time you think about asking a woman when her next baby is due to come ripping shooting down the birth canal, have a think about how welcome your enquiries are going to be. Just because it seems like the norm, doesn't mean it will be. Some people (shock horror) have no desire to procreate at all and some, very sadly, simply cannot. I know that people ask about babies because they are so lovely (the asker and the baby) and I know this is a bit of a ranty post, but that was just my two cents. It's very rare that I get a bit extreme on this slice of the net but today I did. Maybe I need some chocolate crispy cakes and a bath haha!
What do you think on this matter? I bet you all have a lot of opinions on this!
Toodlepip!
xx
We're a family of 3 with a 4-year old boy and I feel just the same as you....I thought when I wanted another one I'd 'know'....but as yet it's not happened! We're so happy as we are that I can't see when that moment will come....if it does then great...if it doesn't then great too! I'm forever being asked when I'll have another and I find myself having to justify it time and time again....and some people just don't seem to get it that we could be happy sticking at one! Thanks for this post Louise....very relevant to me and my life. xxx
ReplyDeleteI kinda think it's a rude question when people ask that. What if the person being asked can't have kids or doesn't want more? It's a bit of a sexist one too - people don't tend to ask men the same thing. There's also a weird judgement for people who stick with one child. I told someone recently that I'd probably only have one child in the future, and she said that was cruel. Isn't that bizarre?
ReplyDeleteYou have a beautiful baby but I have no desire to procreate. Oh boy do I go crazy when people ask me when I'll be squeezing out the kids & those that patronise & say "I'm sure you will change your mind" I want to take a broom and shove it where the sun doesn't shine lol x
ReplyDeleteI don't really know what to say about this, because I don't have a baby. But I do think that you shouldn't feel pressured. I also think that you should just enjoy the moments you have with Darcy and your husband :)
ReplyDeleteDarcy seems like the loveliest child ever.
Hugs from Sanne
www.unexposedtreasure.blogspot.com
My husband and I have decided not to have children. Before we were even married people were asking us the baby question, and they still ask. But I have to admit when I watched your last updates video, I wondered in my head if you would be having another baby. Sorry, I don't know why it popped into my head ... even after all the grief I go through when people ask ME that question. I didn't actually ask you though, because it is a pretty personal question. I guess society has us all brain washed into thinking we should have lots of babies and most people don't have a sensor for their thoughts.
ReplyDeleteWell done for writing this Louise! Some people seem to have a preconception of what a life should look like and forget that everyone is different and has their own thoughts, feelings and wants. Also I love your blog!
ReplyDeleteI have an 8 year age gap between my son and daughter and it's perfect!! I had lots of time with my gorgeous little boy doing little boy things and then my little girly came along when my son was more into his Play Station so out came the pink and sparkly fantastic toys lol! They have the best of both worlds, basically spoilt only children with lots of Mummy Daddy time to themselves but with a sibling who adores them!! I wasn't ready to have another one and resented the ''when's the next one coming'' comments! I'm with you all the way!!!
ReplyDeleteI love this, though I come from a family of 5 (including my parents)I know a lot of families that are only 3, and they're so much fun! I think it's such a personal choice that people really shouldn't ask, but then again people always want to know! You and your little family are absolutely precious.
ReplyDeletexo, Maria
I come from a family (including extended) where having lots of babies are the norm, but I still try to be careful and phrase the question more like: 'Would you like to/are you thinking of having another child?' rather than 'So when're you going to pop out the next one?' And of course, it's all dependent on the situation/person you're asking. I totally agree with you though Louise, hopefully this'll help clarify the etiquette in this kind of situation for people! :)
ReplyDeleteI am 24, single and have no intention of settling down any time soon yet my family insist on asking me all the time when I'm planning on finding the right guy and popping out a sprog, so I completely understand where you're coming from!
ReplyDeleteLottie x
http://lottiekerr.blogspot.co.uk
A great honest post, it's clear you are happy with your little family right now and I'm glad you have spoken up about it. I, like sugarpuffish above, have no desire to procreate or get married. I am in a happy relationship which I have been for 10 years and we like things the way they are. When people say "I'm sure you will change your mind" when I respond to their query of do I want a child, I do feel like replying with "are you? how are you sure?" because they clearly don't live in my head.
ReplyDeleteOoh now you've got us all ranty!
While I think it may be natural to ask these questions, it's not always appropriate. When it comes to big life-changing things like these I always find I react differently based on who is asking the question. Are you immediate family? Are you a close friend? Or are you a an acquaintance I haven't spoken to in 5 years and have no right to know all the "dirty details" of why I'm happy being single at 25? *That's* when I get angry! On the inside, of course. I can still be a lady about it, but some people do make it a tad too difficult! ;) At the end of the day, no matter what you do or where you go, you'll be there. Because it's your life. So sometimes you've just got to take a step back and take a look at the life you've built and have every reason to be proud of. Just because your plan A isn't someone else's doesn't mean it isn't every bit (if not more) magical!
ReplyDeleteI am totaly agree with you. I love how you present your point of view. You already have a adorable little girl, so why the sudden rush having another one?!:)
ReplyDeleteLive your life and enjoy the time with your family! :-**
Wish you a beautiful day!
Love, Mona
I have two kids and won't be having more. They are toddlers still and it is a handful. But I love that they have each other. I love seeing the difference in their personalities, as I have a boy and girl. They help each other and keep each other company. But they also fight and bicker a ton too. I think it's all part of being siblings though. Sometimes you like each other and sometimes not. I don't want more kids. I want sleep, date nights and more than five minutes to get ready in the morning. As a stay at home mom, they demand all my time and nothing less. Which is fine, I have so much compassion, understanding and love in my heart as a mom. At the end of the day I am a realist. I know my families boundaries. I want to be able to provide the best I can for the two kids I have and no more. I did come from a family, having three siblings. I think having a sibling is like a built in friend. So I'm very glad my kids have each other.
ReplyDeleteI am certainly guilty of asking this question many times and while you may see it as nosey and rude, there is a simple reason why new mothers are consistently asked this question. It is because when you (new mums) have a baby, the only thing, and I MEAN, the only thing you talk about is that new baby, so us mere mortals cannot have a conversation about anything else with you, thus are forced to ask continuous questions (whilst feigning interest) about your child. The particular question that this blog post has focused on is merely an attempt by people to keep up conversation with you as you are no longer able to talk about anything else but babies. So, a piece of advice - next time someone asks you this question, rather than being offended, simply recognise that they are struggling with 'baby talk' and attempt to engage in something other than your child.
ReplyDeleteAbsolutely disagree with this - there are a million things that childless people would want to talk to Louise about...if you're in any doubt look at the demographic of her subscribers and the wide range of themes of her videos?!
DeleteHow rude!
DeleteAs long as you're happy that's all that matters, you'll choose the right time when (and if) you want to add to YOUR family. Enjoy it as it is now, everyone is different and not everyone's in a rush to have a massive family. It will happen when it happens xx
ReplyDeletefabheadtotoe.blogspot.co.uk
I completely understand! Even though i'm no where near old enough to even be thinking of kids right now, I can understand how people trying to invade your personal life can be quite irritating. ESPECIALLY with a matter such as babies! Darcy is the most adorable little girl in the world and I'm not surprised that you are perfectly happy with your amazing husband and beautiful baby! :) Love you all xxxx
ReplyDeleteFor me, I always get "when are you 2 having kids then?" and my reply is always a painful "soon I hope".. Me and my other half have been trying for nearly a year and a half and it just doesn't seem to be happening :( I hate being asked about it all the time but I guess it's just "normal" to when people have been together a while so I completely understand what you're saying and how it can get on your nerves after a while! The worst one was when my neighbour asked when I was due just after I'd miscarried :( (I wasn't very far along, I'm just a bit overweight!) I think people need to be more sensitive and think before they speak more, especially when they don't know the person and all the ins and outs of their situations. xxx
ReplyDeleteSuch a cute photo! I love it
ReplyDeletePlease check out and follow my blog! I'd really appreciate it! <3
http://seasidebeauty.blogspot.co.uk/
My aunt has one child following 2 miscarriages and a lot of heartache trying to concieve and she gets so frustrated by people that ask her "why did you only have one child" or "wouldn't you like to have more children"... I appreciate some people might think it's ok to ask but surely they should consider that there might be more painful reasons behind the single status or equally like yourself happy with their one gorgeous bit of glitter in their life!
ReplyDeleteVictoria x
www.florenceandmary.com
I completely agree with you, I don't have any children of my own at the moment but I believe that when I do I will want to enjoy the time with my first child and just enjoy having her/him without having another baby right away. Every family is different of course but I really do understand where you are coming and it is definitely no one else's business but your own! x
ReplyDeleteMy mum said a while ago that until my younger brother turned 4 there were lots of 'when's your next one?' type questions, but that after that they dropped off completely (and had been dropping off slowly since he turned 3ish). I think lots of people see a two year gap as normal and once it gets to the point that a gap would be a lot bigger than that they assume there isn't going to be a next one.
ReplyDeleteAlso... I'm an oldest daughter, so I was like Darcy once. And then my brother came along and he was a total pain for all involved. You're onto a good thing. Don't ruin it :p
I'm an only child and I would if I ever decide to have children would only have one. I feel so blessed with the life I had and have never felt lonely or sad because I didn't have siblings. In fact I used to feel sorry for my friends as a child as they had top share their parents. I have hand on heart never wanted to have a brother or sister and I get quite offended when people say they feel sorry for me. Only children are not deprived at all. I have such an amazing close relationship with my parents and am even now quite happy to be in their company all day. Have the number of children that feel right for you :)
ReplyDeleteSophie
x
I completely understand where you are right now and I remember those days with one child with great love. What happen when my son was about 3 was that we really wanted him to have a sibling. We had a second son and 26 years later they are great friends.
ReplyDeleteAnother bonus to waiting 3 to 4 years between babies is the older one is potty trained.
I'm currently pregnant with my first baby (due in 3 weeks - eek!) and already people have asked me if/when I'll have another, and how many. Crikey, hold your horses - I haven't even met this one yet and I'm only 25! So yes, I completely understand what you're saying. That said, I'm pretty sure I've made similar comments to mummies on the odd occasion as sometimes it's just a way of making conversation xx
ReplyDeleteWe have 2 lovely children but there is 6 years age gap between them because we had trouble having anymore. I used to get so fed up with people who would ask if we would have anymore my standard response became "No we are happy with just the 1." then i would go home & have a bi of a cry as i was really upset that they asked. People have said me that surely i have asked people similar questions but i can actually honestly say i never have done & since my own experience i never would either.
ReplyDeleteI have never understood what it has to do with anyone else. If you & Matt are happy then that is all that counts at the end of the day. I think you have a beautiful little family.
Sorry that turned into an essay & a daresay it is full of spelling mistakes too. Sorry!! x
I feel like the bottom line is each to their own! I think I would have 2 at least because I always wanted more siblings (I have one and he was my idea, my parents had him when they realised I was a bit lonely as a child!) But you are right to be careful about the money side of things.. if I was an only child my family would've had much more financial stability. Although I would take love and a big family over that any xay!
ReplyDeleteYano know what fair play to you Louise, I'm not even anywhere close to thinking about children and when we're younger all girls and some boys choose there number of children maybe you and Matt did it yourself, but I can see from your posts and videos that a lot of things change in the real world. You're right it is none of anyone else's business about your children and how many you will fine on to have, after reading your very emotional post about your birth, you didn't exactly put me off have children but made me reconsider the future as I've realised that until your there in the moment you just don't know. Both you and Nicky from pixi woo really put a real perspective on mothwrhood which I think is awesome. So I'd like to think when I'm ready to have children or child that I will have remembered your advice and made the right decision. Keep the great blog up! xxx
ReplyDeleteI agree sometimes it seems the norm to have more than one child! I'm an only child and some people seem shocked why my parents didn't have more! xx
ReplyDeleteI'm with you on this one!! I've been with my boyfriend for 4 and a half years, and have lived together almost that whole time... The question we get asked ALL THE TIME is 'when are you going to have babies' which is fine, but I get disapproving looks when I say 'I don't think I want children, at least not yet'... I guess some people just presume that I'm going to have them!! xx
ReplyDeleteMy husband and I have been married for two years and we are constantly being asked when we're going to start having children. Honestly, I'm not sure! It is a natural question but it can definitely be irritating at times. Sometimes, people just don't think about the implications of what they're asking especially when they're younger. They don't realize that for some people it takes time and a lot of effort to get pregnant.
ReplyDeleteI agree with what you're saying, I have a 7 month old little girl and despite before thinking I wanted loads of children, I'm just getting used to having my sleep back (as selfish as that sounds), i'm enjoying watching her grow up and watching her personality show, who knows in the future, but right now, everything is just how I want it.
ReplyDeleteHaving a baby is hard work, no-one said it would be easy, especially those first few months and sorting out a routine etc.
Good girl for posting this, you will probably help alot of other people too xx
www.our-baby-blog.co.uk
It's so great to finally see someone who gets wound up about this too! Being an only child my parents were asked non-stop, "so when are you having another?" and when they were told there wasn't going to be another my mum was called selfish and that she was depriving me of a sibling and I wouldn't develop the same! What most people tend to forget about (or refuse to acknowledge) is that just because you are related to someone does not necessarily mean you will even like them. After 21 years of being told I have been deprived from not having a sibling it is nice to see a mum actually speaking out and telling people it's none of their business. Excellent post that needed to be done! :) x
ReplyDeleteI can totally relate to you, we have 1 beautiful Baby Boy and are not planning on more Little's. I am so blessed to have such a wonderful child and I enjoy spending time with my 2 Men and I just feel like I am a 1 Baby Person haha ;) Your little Princess is such a beautiful Munchkin!!!
ReplyDeletexoxo
I was DESPERATE for a baby when I had my son whos now four but I have never had that overwhelming broody feeling since, so it may well be we just have the one. I'm not having another baby just because other ppl think my son should have a sibling, surely that's a silly reason?
ReplyDeleteI'm only 15, but I thought I'd share my opinion. As an only child, I am totally fine with it :) i dont feel lonely, but of course thats my personal opinion (i know other only childs who want brothers, but they seem to be pretty fine too). i guess being the only child is nice, because you can be really close to your parents and its just really fun reading books and spending time on the internet watching your videos! (being introverted helps too, i guess)
ReplyDeletep.s. we dont have that flavor in starbucks where i live ;_;
3 is a perfect number. totally!
ReplyDeleteThis is so well said. I think most people are well-meaning but, the fact is, if you want people to know if/when you'll have more children YOU'LL tell them. I won't be having children due to health problems so, each time someone asks me if I'll have kids, it's particularly painful.
ReplyDeleteI think when people ask, they're just being curious. My friend's baby is two years old as well and she gets asked a lot if she'll ever have another one soon. I think like you and Matt, her and her husband are back to enjoying the freedom they once sacrificed and there's totally nothing wrong with that. I can't even imagine how much hard work newborns are and you give up a lot to have a child, so sometimes, I think it's only natural not to want to go down that route again straight away. Enjoy your time with Darcy, give her all your love and I'm sure there'll come a time when you're ready to say, "Hey, I think I'd like to do this again". Maybe that time will never come for you and Matt, and that's okay too. There is so much pressure in society and it's like when you're married, you're expected to have kids and when you have one, you're expected to have more! The best thing you can do is just not bother and enjoy your life the way you want to live it. :)
ReplyDeleteAs for me, I think when I'm ready to have kids, I'd like to have two who aren't too far apart from each other. I grew up with a sister and brother all born close to each other and despite the fighting and the yelling as kids, it would've been a lonely childhood without them. It was fun playing House (or as my sister and I called it, Darlings!) with my brother being the baby, haha. I also think I'll be a bit older by the time I'm ready to have kids!
http://vintagemachine.blogspot.com
I think that's an extremely silly question to ask. I personally don't want children, it just doesn't float my boat. I adore my friends babies/kids but I don't want them for myself. So what I want to ask these people who are asking you all this.. how can you be so selfish as to ask oh when are you going to have your next baby etc? If you've got to ask, why not just go do you want any more children after Darcy?
ReplyDeleteDo what makes you happy Louise, and this is to everyone who's getting more pressure to pop out another baby. Just do whatever makes you, your husband/boyfriend or whatever happy.
I totally agree with you. I'm not at the stage yet to have a little baby but I hope in the next couple of years I will, but being around my friends who have children, my sister who also have two beautiful babies; I can so appreciate the feeling of having people always asking and almost bothering you to know your very private information. I think your family is beautiful and should you and Matt decide to grow your family great! and if not, it's seems pretty wonderful already! I hope all the ladies out there dealing with the same type of questions feel the same :)
ReplyDeletewww.makeuponadime.blogspot.com
haha 'that just got graphic'. You're right, just enjoy where you are now, with the people you love :)
ReplyDeleteAmy| The Little Koala Blog ♥
Nothing wrong with having only one child! I am an only child and although at times when I was a kid I wished for little brothers or sisters, and even now I wish sometimes, 3 really is a perfect number :)
ReplyDeletemysmallrayofsunshine.blogspot.com
I'm only 19 but I don't think I'd dare ask somebody "when" somebody was going to have their next baby... it's a very private matter!
ReplyDeleteSpeaking from my rather naive point of view I can't wait to have children when I'm older. Having been an only child I really want more than one, but it's really up to the couple themselves - not society!
Emily x - prettypleaseprettyplease.blogspot.com
Well said Louise!!!
ReplyDeleteHopefully people will read this and now realise that's something you see as private and stop asking these questions.
Glad your enjoying your life and your little family
Carrieanne x
http://imjustalittlepixie.blogspot.co.uk/
This is so true! People shouldn't be hassling you, 3 is a perfect number! I know what you mean when you said that some people cant even have children, My aunt cant and she has tried IVF as well but that still hasn't worked, she hates it when people hassle her, but now she is thinking of adopting! 3 is a perfect number and Darcy is unbelievably cute!
ReplyDeleteLots of Love
Maddie
xxx
I have a 5 year old daughter and for years people kept asking us when we were having another child and it was hard to keep saying 'not at the moment'. They did give up asking eventually!
ReplyDeleteI think it is all down to the person, you've clearly hit the nail on the head here it's up to that family if and when they would like another child some don't some can't. I have no children, I know I want them undecided if I want more than one but that is my opinion, I would want to ask people when they are having their next baby but I may enquire if they would like more, leaving it open for them to voice their thoughts. Everybody is different :)
ReplyDeleteMegs
xxxxxx
ps Love the blog and you rock!! x
I think its a really rude question for people to ask, I know you share a lot of your life on the internet but some things are still very private and people should respect that of you! If you are going to have another baby it is yours and Matt's choice and noone else should influence that xxx
ReplyDeleteMaddy from http://unstitchedd.blogspot.co.uk/
♥
Darcy is still so young! You are in your 20s still, it's not like you're going to hit menopause tomorrow, so no need to rush at all. You have to do what feels right for you and your family regardless of what other people think is "the norm".
ReplyDeletei wrote a post very similar to this on my blog. i have a 3yr old little boy and have no desire to have any more. i get questioned all the time, whens the next, etc and 'you cant make him a only child' but its my decission and suits our family. great post :) x
ReplyDeletehttp://www.leopardprintmommy.com/2012/02/one-please.html
I think it all depends on how someone asks a question. No matter what subject this might be on. Most people probably don't intend to be rude, they are just curious and are not always aware that they are crossing a line. But good for you to show those lines, we all should in a respectful manner of course ;) :)
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post. I've been married for two years and I get this question at every one of my husband's family functions. I remember when we moved to our house, that was the first thing my neighbor asked...I was shocked! To be honest my husband and I really can't decide. I love him so much and can just see traveling and growing old together. People think that is selfish though.
ReplyDeleteI expected a post like this. It's no one elses business except for yours, your partners and baby glitter. Keep smiling!
ReplyDeletehttp://humerasthoughtsandotherstuff.blogspot.co.uk/
I have to hold my hands up I am one of those people who has made that off the cuff remark to you in a comment recently (i think it was baby glitters birthday post) For that I am very sorry. I wasn't until i read this post that i really thought about what a personal question that is. I know that it upsets my Sister who got married last year when she will be having a baby I suppose it's the same sort of thing.
ReplyDeleteYou have opened my eyes about it I i'll think in future a not talk about it unless the mommy in question brings it up herself.
PS The odd rant is good not healthy to keep it bottled up
Sarah oxox
givenmewings.blogspot.co.uk
I'm so glad you posted this Louise! I saw one of your Instagrams the other day on Darcy's birthday and saw quite a few of those comments. I think it's so lovely that you're investing so much time in little baby glitter and not worrying too much about the future just yet. It's definitely a great attitude to have :) xxx
ReplyDeleteseeking--serendipity.blogspot.co.uk
I think assuming you're going to have another baby is a little rude, but I don't think there's anything wrong in asking.
ReplyDeleteIt must get annoying when asked all the time though!
I think if you're happy, then rock it! xx
boppingthroughlife.blogspot.co.uk
Right now you guys have a perfect cute little family (: It's never occurred to me to wonder if you'll have another! I completely understand what you mean though, you guys are extremely content and currently another child would make it difficult. Especially with YouTube meetups and things! It would be so difficult having to leave two kids behind!
ReplyDeleteGreat post Louise! Although i'm not anywhere near entering into a "baby" phase in my life, I have shared your view on the perfectness of 3, for a long time wanting only 1 child.. but the bond between siblings is something incredible.
ReplyDeletePeople shouldn't find it ok to ask those sorts of questions..
enjoy being happy!
lifeslikearoadwetravelon.blogspot.com
xx
Three is the magic number. There's three of us too and I'm happy with it that way. I get asked all the time if I'm going to have another and my daughters 7! You think they would have given up by now. Great post. Each to there own I say but I'm happy with us three together x
ReplyDeleteI think you're right. I am an only child and my parents only ever wanted one. I personally only want one or two but already have a stepson who's a cutie!
ReplyDeletewww.buttonsandlipstick.blogspot.com
hey i just checked your blog out and i love it maybe check mine? http://britishfashionxox.blogspot.co.uk/ thanks :) x
DeleteWell, I think the people who are asking you about having another child are not meaning to be rude. They probably just love to see you as happy as you are, and we all know how happy Darcy makes you, so they probably (I can only assume here) only wish you the very best and would love to see your little family grow and be merry. Personally, I think it is a private issue and would never "demand" another baby (that would be weird!) but if you ever decide to make Darcy a big sister, I will still support you as a fellow Sprinklerino and would love to take the journey with you, read posts about it, watch videos about it and get to see a little slice of your (then extended) little family :)
ReplyDeleteLisa x // tubeandtram.blogspot.com
I really enjoyed your blog and i think you put so much time and effort into it! it looks great and hope you and your family doing well! if you ever have time could you follow my blog i only just started and need a good couple of followers! thankyou for reading! xox http://britishfashionxox.blogspot.co.uk/
ReplyDeleteI'm a single 22 year old student with no boyfriend and no job, and I've been asked a few times when i was going to start a family, for some reason. My older cousins get that so frequently that i'm already tired for them.
ReplyDeleteThe weird thing is, this comes from usually from middle aged/elderly people, and your followers are young, it isn't so hard to put themselves in your shoes, right?
Have fun, do what is best for you, Matt and Baby Glitter, and i hope people see this post and start minding their own business, at least when it involves other people's choices.
This was so interesting to read, I think you have the perfect family just as it is, and you shouldn't plan if you want more children, it should just come naturally I think!
ReplyDeletewww.beblacknblue.blogspot.co.uk
www.bloglovin.com
Hey Louise! I find it very inspiring that you're willing to address personal matters here on your blog, whether you will get positive or negative feedback! You're a very strong, bubbly woman and I respect you in so many ways! Your blog is amazing and I can't wait for the next post.
ReplyDeletePenny
x
While I dont blame anyone for asking you (since Baby Glitters are way too adorable) I think your post was well written and exactly on point!
ReplyDeleteI really appreciate your opinion and thoughts and agree with them.
ReplyDeleteIt is totally okay to have one child. You can just give everything you have to this one cute human being, so where is the problem?
I sometimes don't understand other people's imaginations when it comes to having children. Children are nothing you collect. Every parent should be able to decide whether to have babies or not and when to stop in familiy planning. ;)
I am super happy for you three because you seem to be the most joyful family there is (at least your Youtube videos and blog post make it seem so^^)! <3
Lots of love! xx
beckythewallflower.blogspot.com
I just wanted to read what others had to say, until I saw commentingerrino. Man oh man, you made my day.
ReplyDeleteYep, that's actually all I got to say haha
Greetings from the Netherlands (yay, you're world wide)
*flies away*
Those questions are always hard to answer. In my case, my husband and I have been struggling with infertility for over a year (at this point only close friends and family know). I know that the people asking have no ill intentions but it doesn't make the questions any less crushing. I love that you share some of your personal things on this blog. You and your family are so adorable! x
ReplyDeleteLouise, I congratulate you on your achievements. You have a successful career with your blog and You tube channel. You have a beautiful daughter who you clearly relish spending time with and are in loving relationship. Although you choose to share snippets of your life with us you really do not need to justify, defend or answer any question. Why is it women still feel guilty about what they have/have not and what they want/don't want?. Some of my friends with children feel guilty they haven't pursued careers, those with careers are made to feel selfish for not having children. I say go for what you want, live your life, and do what makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteLouise, I love your blog!
ReplyDeleteIve just started a blog so please come and check It out! I have just posted my Favourite MAC shadows.
blissbeauty.blogspot.com
thanks x
Louise, I totally agree with you on this subject. I'm very happy to hear you are enjoying life right now, and to have fun with your first child and to be able to live happy at the moment. I'm sometimes quite yeallous if I see your lovely moments of happyness at your blog. Anyhow, I'm loving your blog. And because of you & the blog of Zoella, I started my own blog. So thanks for that :)
ReplyDeleteMuch love, a dear Sprinklerino.
All questions like this are rather rude I think! I have been with my boyfriend for 8 years and I always get "Why aren't you engaged?" or "When are you getting married?". Errrr none of your business! xxxx
ReplyDeleteI'm not a mother, but I could definitely see how that question could come off as rude... and pressuring. If your happy with your trio, then well that's all that matters!
ReplyDelete♥
Dalia
I taught it was obvious that it's just as rude as asking someone if they're pregnant, no?
ReplyDeleteEnjoy your life.. what's the rush? It seems like everything is going swimmingly why would you want to change that? More power to you Louise :)x
ReplyDeleteLouise, I think you are awesome!! And you totally have the right to post this because this is kind of a personal matter and is no ones business but yours and your husbands. You are awesome for speaking out about it and I have another whole new respect for you and every blogger :)
ReplyDeleteI think its just a bit of a natural thing for people to ask if you have a child and i think alot of people assume you want babies close together. I get asked it alot and my babys only 8 months old! Your family is perfect and you will decided when/if you want more little glitters x
ReplyDeletehttp://lillyandme12.blogspot.co.uk
I agree with you. I think it's important to be able to financially stable in supporting a child. It's easy to forget that once another baby is bought into the picture, less money & time for everyone. Babies are expensive! Blessings, but expensive nonetheless. I think you should do what makes you, your husband & little Glitter happy :))
ReplyDeletexo, Charlene
I agree with everything you have said. For me it has been a little different. My husband and I don't have any children (as of yet) but we have been married for five years and have ever since been bombarded with questions and pressure to have children. I wish others would be content to let us go about things as we see fit and do what is right for us when it is right for us. Every family gathering is torture with the never ending questions, jokes, and backhanded comments. People can be quite rude about such a sensitive subject.
ReplyDeleteI am years away from any children as I am still very young but I definitely know that I want children. I believe the matter of having children is completely personal and up to the person. I could see how the question would be annoying for you and for others in a similar position but I feel people only ask it out of curiosity and the question comes from kindness, nothing else (most of the time anyhow). Of course I have no problem with this post, there is no right or wrong opinion but that's just my view on the matter! x
ReplyDeleteYou have a beautiful family and there is no rush. My sister and I have an age gap of 7 years so, it really doesn't matter at all. Whatever floats your boat and all that.
ReplyDeleteGreat post, was nice to share this with all your fellow sprinklerinos!
Rachel x
Yes yes yes.....both because I had what my doctor called the worst combined pregnancy and birth she had ever seen, and also because guess what, I have been off the pill for three years now and unfortunately number two does not seem to want to put in an appearance.
ReplyDeleteIn my family, this has always been a sensitive subject. My parents had me a year after they got married and then my mum just didn't get pregnant again. They tried, they got tested (everything was normal) but no more babies came even though my parents would love another one or two. I remember people (family, friends, strangers) being persistent that my parents should have another one, unaware of the pain they caused with their questions and suggestions.
ReplyDeleteIt annoys me when people make presumptions about how they feel you should be living your life. Its your life and as long as you, your husband and your beautiful little girl are happy that's all that matters. My parents have 6 children and every time my mum got pregnant people thought they could exclaim loudly "oh not another one" as if it was any of their business!
ReplyDeleteI think it's wonderful that you are so happy, and I really admire how confident you are xoxo
ReplyDeletePeople always ask my sister when she's going to have her first baby as she's 25 this year & her husband is 28 and they've been married for a year. I know that she doesn't appreciate being asked about children (as much as I'd love to be an aunty)
ReplyDeleteDarcy is beautiful and it's so nice to see and hear that you're happy! God bless you and your beautiful family! :)
http://rachaelsthought.blogspot.co.uk/
I agree with you, I think it's such a personal question to ask a woman! Plus what if that woman wants another child, but physically isn't able, that would just be upsetting :( I'm so pleased at how happy you are at the minute, you really deserve it Louise and Darcy is lucky to have such a good mum!
ReplyDeleteA little bit Unique - Blog // Facebook // Bloglovin
x
I never really thought about it in this light but I see what you mean! I think it's because most children have 2 years difference between them so when your child turns two you often wonder if another one is on the way! :) I happen to think Darcy is the most adorable little thing ever and so pretty :)
ReplyDeletethisisaromcom.blogspot.com
It is a very personal and possibly uncomfortable question to be asked, but I don't think most people ask it with a negative intention. Most of the time I would imagine it is because they view you as a wonderful mother (or a potentially good mother if someone didn't have a child yet). I don't think anyone would even bother to ask if they thought you weren't doing such a wonderful job with Darcy. What a blessed little girl!
ReplyDeleteA long time ago I asked my mother why she decided to have 4 children and she simply said, "so that one day when your father and I are gone...you will still have each other."
Wow you have really got me thinking, My Darcie is approaching her first birthday and its only natural that people have been asking "when is number two on the way?" and I have always said "Oh when she is two we will try again blah, blah, blah" but do I really want another?? It seems natural to me to have another, but everything in life just seem about perfect, why would I want to change that??
ReplyDeleteFood for thought there... food for thought!
Mummyburgess.blogspot.co.uk
I'm really glad that you bought this up! I have a 3 year old son who's going to turn 4 this year and I get people telling me I should get pregnant asap so that he can have a close like aged sibling. I'm not planning on having another one at the moment, who knows maybe I'll change my mind but like you I like being finally able to sleep at night and having more spare money, xoxo.
ReplyDeleteI think your opinion is perfectly valid. It's nobody's business but your own and at your young age, you've got plenty of years to procreate should you feel like it! :) x
ReplyDeleteGood for you, Louise for telling it to the world :) People who ask that are just so nosy, in my opinion. And you are doing such a wonderful job with Baby Glitter, I don't blame you for feeling just happy the way things are! I grew up as an only child and so it was always just me and my parents and I never found it weird- I love the attention that my parents gave/give me. My mom always asks me if I missed having a sibling and I just tell her that I can't really miss what I've never had. Sure, sometimes I get a tiny bit lonely but I get over it very quickly. The only thing I think I'll miss is not being able to have nieces and nephews (because I'm pretty sure I don't want to have kids of my own any time soon).
ReplyDeleteThis is a really interesting post and has really opened my eyes up to something I'd never really given much thought to before - thank you!
ReplyDeleteI don't have any children yet but am lucky to be in a loving long-term relationship - I say lucky for many reasons, but one of these is that I don't have to answer the 'when are you getting yourself a man/when are you going to settle down etc etc' questions at family events. Many of my friends, at the ripe old age of 23-24, are already getting these questions and getting really down-hearted and frustrated by them. I imagine this is something like what you feel when people ask the baby question. Why should they 'find' someone if they're perfectly happy as they are? Why do people think that if you're not in a relationship/engaged or married by your mid-20s there is something wrong? And, most importantly, why do they think they can point it out and make you feel like how you are living is somehow incorrect? In my eyes, happy is happy. I don't believe anyone else can or should ever tell you that your feelings of happiness are wrong or inferior compared to anyone elses.
As always, fantastic post.
http://littlestoffeet.blogspot.co.uk/
I understand where you are coming from.. people instantly think its the norm to have another child after No1. I'm in a similar situation at the minute... but not - all of my friends (and yes, I mean ALL!) have at least 1 child, if not 2 or another on the way. I'm the only one out of my circle who has not had any as of yet.. and for the past couple of years, every few months, you can be sure that good ol' question will pop up 'so, when are you gonna pop one out?' Another famous question, especially at friends' weddings, my OH always gets asked 'So, when are you popping the question?!' Yes we've been together 5 yrs, but because we haven't jumped on the band wagon of proposing within a stupid amount of time, and then popped a child out shortly afterwards, I think we're beginning to be put into the 'weird' category! So annoying feeling like you have to conform to todays society! x
ReplyDeleteIf I was in your situation I would feel completely the same! You have some hefty comments to sift your way through up there ;) 3 is most certainly not a crowd! <3
ReplyDeletehttp://jodie-melissa.blogspot.co.uk/
Go you for voicing your thoughts like this on your blog. Loves it! I would feel exactly the same way <3
ReplyDeletehttp://beautyandlouise.blogspot.co.nz
This post is actually really reassuring, a lot of girls I know who I went to school with are popping babies out like no tomorrow. It is really nice for a change to see someone so mature and responsible, knowing that right now your happy with how things are, instead of rushing into another baby! No one should pressure anybody into thinking on when to have another baby if any at all, and it's frankly rude to even question it! Three is not a crowd at all and if anything it is the perfect number for a lovely little family :) You go Louise, and don't listen to anyone who says otherwise!
ReplyDeleteChelsea HumbleHonesty
I totally agree with you, I don't really get why people ask you stuff like that. It's nothing they should be worrying about. I am so glad that you are enjoying life! You and your family are wonderful. I love reading you blog and watching your videos, so please, DON'T YOU EVER STOP! <3
ReplyDeleteYou do what you thinks best not what others want you to do :)
ReplyDeletePipp xx
http://pippjones281190.blogspot.co.uk
Love this!
ReplyDeletehttp://lilianapapillion.blogspot.com
Love this post. Lots of my friends come from massive families (we're talking at least 5 sibs!) but I was an only child for nearly half of my life, and there's certainly nothing wrong with that! :)
ReplyDeleteI totally understand your point of view and sometimes it feels like you're being pressured into having another one and even if you were its no one else's business unless it needs to be.
ReplyDeleteBut If I didn't have my sisters I would have been so lonely with no one to talk to and understand me. After all, playing with barbies or monopoly was never fun by myself. :(
Darcy is very blessed to have you two as parents :) as long as there's love she has everything she needs and more <3
It's so lovely to hear you're so happy with where you are in life at the moment :) I totally understand why you don't like being asked if you're planning more little glitters but I'm sure you know no-one means to offend you by asking. There's also nothing wrong with having a rant!
ReplyDeleteI'd also like to say I've been inspired by you and Zoella to start my own blog. You're both so lovely and bubbly and clearly get a lot of fun out of blogging and youtube so I thought why don't I have a go! :) It's already been fun coming up with ideas for posts and taking and editing photos for them. I hope this is a project I see through.
lots of love xxx
great post!
ReplyDeleteI think it is rude that people ask that, to make an assumption. Everyone is different, like you say some want more than one kid and some don't it's their lives to lead how they want :D
I'm glad to read all the positives of your life with your husband and Darcy and how you can spend a lot of time with her and have a healthy work balance too :D
I admire you for this!
xx
We think it's your choice and business whether you decide to have more glitters. As others have pointed out as long Darcy is surrounded by love, which she clearly is then that's all that matters.
ReplyDeletewww.mkstyleramblings.blogspot.com.au
I find it insulting how society expects women to pop out babies and if we don't we're demonized for it. I saw a car commercial today and in one car there was a mother and her three kids and in the other was a single woman in a business suit. They made the single working woman look cold and distant. Women are not monsters for working. We are not monsters for not wanting to have kids. Just because one has the ability to have children doesn't mean they necessarily should.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that you're happy! :D
ReplyDeleteAs a girl who doesn't want any children I totally get where you are coming from!! I think it would be rather annoying to be asked just as I don't like when people look at with me with shock and horror saying "YOU DONT WANT KIDS? NONE?"
ReplyDeletexx
I can appreciate you're view Louise, and I also get the questions and my partner and I are not even engaged yet! However, being an only child, i can say it was a lonely childhood. I had my mum and my family, and of course i had friends, but friends come and go! Even now as a 23 year old woman i wish i had at least one sibling in life.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing my husband and I would like more than to create a little human, but my body just simply will not cooperate. I have been married for four years and constantly get asked or even demanded to HAVE A BABY, HAVE A BABY! It's so much easier to just say " Oh, one day..." than to explain that my uterus is a piece of crap. The crazy thing is, the few people we have explained it to seem to not believe it, because they still ask... I actually think my mother in law thinks we are doing something wrong and don't know how to make it happen, but that's a story for another time. haha.
ReplyDeleteI myself have a 2 yr old girl and also have a chronic illness that I am still trying to find the right medication for.
ReplyDeleteI have been asked many times if I am having more simply because I'm of the "age" and my friends are now on their 2nd pregnancy, but for me it's a struggle with one so at this point a second is not in the near future and it may just be us three.
I am lucky to have one and for that I will be always grateful and not dwell on weather I will be able to have a second.
At this point in time I am enjoying all the other babies coming into my life and will happily swoon over them.
As for being asked, it doesn't bother me that much as it is human nature to be curious and as long as the question is asked with kindness not judgement it is relatively harmless.
Sending love from Oz! X
I agree. I do not have any children (yet), but some families only want one child- to pour their energy into.
ReplyDeleteI dont know how life will pan out.
But I certainly see no wrong in an only child. If the family unit is happy. Thats all that matters xx
Hayley x
I do agree that the ‘next one?’ question can be very insensitive, and naturally it is up to the parents weather or not they want to have another baby. No woman should feel pressured into something that involves such pain down south! But I must say I get a little itchy with this ‘one child to pour all the love and attention into’ idea. Perhaps it’s not meant, but it does seem to imply that a parent has a set amount of love to give, and that love must be shared out among all her children so that with every new child there is less love to share. This is nonsense. As one of six I could not be more loved, and having many siblings has been the greatest blessing of my life.
ReplyDeleteGwen
Alas the 'social expectations' I'm battling two myself at the moment
ReplyDelete1. Ooooooh you're turning 30 - apparently I should have completed my bucket list by now :\
2. When are you getting married - because apparently after 5years we should not be calling ourselves boyfriend/girlfriend
How about we all just do what makes us happy in life :)
I say wait till Darcys a teenager then she can help you with dirty nappies etc ;) just kidding xx
I think it is rude to ask "when are you having another baby" because a- it's none of your business, b- it's quite pressurising like you have to have another baby! I think people should leave them alone and if they decide to have another child then that's great, if they don't then that's great too
ReplyDeleteLauren
Here here! It doesnt matter what stage of life you're at, people are always willing you on to the next thing - my single friend gets asked when she'll settle down, I been with OH 6 years (baby on the way) but we are always asked, on average once a week, when we are getting married, my friend who has one baby is always asked when she'll have another. People seem to think its ok to ask these things when it's not - it's rude!
ReplyDeleteI'm 18 weeks on with our first and I'm having a hard time telling people as those I have told so far have responded with 'ooh congratulations, was it planned? how long have you been trying for?' - all stuff that is frankly none of their business! :-)
I don't blame you for getting a bit annoyed! xxx
ReplyDeletehttp://jeminixlife.blogspot.com
I would never ask someone that, personally I think that it's not really any of mine or anybody else's business to go around asking. If the couple want to, they will, and if not then that's their choice and it's not a big deal. I think I would find it rather rude to be asked such a thing, although I guess it depends on the person asking, but still!
ReplyDeleteCatriona Louise xx
http://undertheappletree18.blogspot.co.uk/
Yeah I think people shouldn't really ask that question! It's also annoying when a couple have been together for years, or they already have a child, and people ask when they're getting married when maybe they don't want to get married haha?! :)
ReplyDeletewe ask these questions because you seem to be a perfect mom, Darcy is loved so much that we/subscribers/readers simply wish a new human being would get that too!! on the other hand I completely agree that these questions are sooo personal and none of our business:)) yes it looks like everyone want to have at least 2 kids..at the end of the day, it is your and Matt's decision and we will love you no matter what <3
ReplyDeleteAmen sister. Amen. From Canada, hear hear! My son turns two next month and I am also so sick of being asked when we are going to give him a brother or sister. Can we not just focus on how awesome he is? My husband and I literally high fived last night for keeping Thomas alive for 23 months, hahahah:) Celebrate and do what's best for YOU.
ReplyDeleteI get asked this already and our daughter is only 5 months old! I am torn wether i want another baby or not, like you, the three of us seems perfect right now and the longer its just us, the more i want it to be just us, however, i always feel bad for thinking i would only like one child. Is it selfish? Is it fair on her to be an only child? Will she be spoilt? It's a tough decision but at the end of the day, no ones business but ours! x
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you Louise! I just wish some people would understand that! xx
ReplyDeletePersonally I'm so glad to have 3 brothers, they taught me so much, always cuddled me if our parents went out and I was upset, and I never feel lonely thanks to them. But I know there are great benefits to being an only child too and if you are fine with one (gorgeous) daughter, that is completely fine!
ReplyDeleteI love this, people shouldn't just expect you to do what the majority of other people do.xx
ReplyDeletehttp://charlbo.blogspot.co.uk/
Agree with you! People don't know to know the ins and outs of everything! They should respect your privacy x
ReplyDeletehttp://hearditthroughthegrapevinee.blogspot.co.uk/
If you are happy then I am happy :D
ReplyDeletehttp://www.classicquirk.blogspot.co.uk/
Hi Louise! Can I just start with how much I absolutely adore you! (creepy I know) but I have just recently stumbled across your youtube channel which lead me here and you have literally become a part of my daily life! I look forward to reading your posts and being inspired by your zest and enthusiasm for life.
ReplyDeleteMy fiance' and I will actually be tying the knot in June! Just around the corner! And we are quite young (21) and we get asked the baby question constantly! It seems that every time I meet someone new I have to defend my uterus! "No I am not pregnant," "We don't have plans to start a family right away," "No I haven't missed my monthly visitor in red!,". It gets so frustrating and tiring! As of right now we are just enjoying being young, being in love, and pursuing our goals in life. We are committing our lives to each other because we love one another and if children are one day a product of that love we will be so happy and welcome it warmly! But for now my uterus and I would really appreciate it if everyone left us alone! Hope you and your family are well! :)
that picture is so sweet, it tells a nice story x
ReplyDeleteravingbeautyx.blogspot.co.uk
I completely agree! I only ever wanted one baby, now I have her I have no desire for another but I get asked the question all the time! My baby is only 5 months old and I'm already sick to death of the question!
ReplyDeletenavylouise.blogspot.com
I will have been with my husband for 10 years this autumn and married for 4 next month, and people always question why we don't have any children and ask when we plan on having any, and it seems I'm questioned more as I approach the grand old age of 30 (a few days after our 10yr anniversary). From general questions to assumptive comments on my Facebook status eg. sleep troubles or early mornings, I've learnt to live with it but I wish people would think a bit more before asking or assuming.
ReplyDeleteIn the past I always thought I never wanted children, now I'm thinking maybe one day we will have one maybe more, but it's not essential to my life and certainly not something I am ready for anytime soon. My husband has always known how I feel and agrees there are other things we want to do first like travel more and get ourselves completely financially secure. I wouldn't want to have to struggle or worry. I see friends who have and while they are happy it's not what I want. I think the fact we only planned our wedding within 7 weeks (though engaged for years) along with just the simple fact we actually got married meant lots of people felt it was perfectly acceptable to constantly question us about our plans for children. Many of which already knew our feelings on the matter including his family who still try and encourage us to change our minds. It seems not all but a lot of people think couples only get married to have children, my husband's grandmother even went so far as to say we shouldn't have got married unless we were going to have children. I have seen many girls I went to school with, get married and within the year start having children so I understand why some people may think that way, but it's not fair to judge everyone by what some people have chosen to do. It does annoy me how people think it's okay to question me, then question me further on the matter and in some cases unfairly completely disregard me as a person worth speaking to, something which I have sadly experienced in a few temporary jobs I've had. In one job I was told by a lady who did speak to me that she thought I was brave for saying I didn't want any children to certain members, but they questioned me and I wasn't going to lie, I shouldn't have to. I'm certain it's a question those who really long for children but are unable to, seriously dread. I know after my sister and I were born my mother suffered from several miscarriages one of which she was hospitalized with blood poisoning, and she hated it when people asked her if she wanted more, it really upset her even though she was thankful for the two of us. For me my best friends both have children, I have a niece and nephew and I love children but I just don't want them right now, I'm currently quite happy being just an auntie and I don't think that makes me any less of a person. I actually think we are being sensible about it. In fact when people start really trying to question me and sometimes try and get in a debate with me over the matter, I answer quite simply that we know that having children is a full time job you have to commit to for the rest of your lives and right now we're just too selfish to make such a commitment. We currently want our time for ourselves, and to be fair to us and any children we may have it would only be fair to wait until, if and when we were fully ready for such a commitment.
I know people are only trying to be friendly and starting general conversation when asking about my family plans, and there's no real malice there, but I find it rather intrusive and can sometimes find it a bit rude, more so when they then ask why, and especially when you are obviously judged on your response. Enjoy your beautiful family as it is Louise, how you and your husband choose to live your lives is nobody elses business other than your own. Whether you wish to have any more children and if so when, is of no concern to anybody else ;-) xox
Darcy really does seem so lovely and I can tell by all your videos that everyone around you loves her but procreation is not for me! I'd rather not rip my body apart to have a little creation leeching off me for a minimum of 18 years (and probably more!). I enjoy seeing your family do their thing though. Love you, Louise! (: xx
ReplyDeleteAhh i don't think people mean to come across a nosy or to irratate you although i can understand why it might,i think just cos you have so many nice ollowers who love to hear and see about Darcy that maybe they don't presume but i don't know what comments you have had so sorry if people have been a bit pushy but i think most are just asking the question,i for one knew you didn't want another for a good while as you said ages ago when Darcy was little,but as you say things can change and your life is how you want it at the mo and that is amazing i'm so happy your happy as you know how much i think ur a brill mum a brill person and i would love to meet you ;0) but after this blog at least people know and hopefully won't ask anymore and if they do then just said i did a blog on it so please go have a read,your an inspiration who loads of people look upto and sometimes i just think they prob feel that close to you that they would ask,but i really hope you have not had any questions that are too rude,mwhaaa the 3 of you make the perfect family xxx♥♥xxx
ReplyDeleteAlthough I don't have any children of my own (yet!) I completely understand you wanting to enjoy one for a while, or forever. My sister has a 22 month old son and while she never wanted children, she adores him. Yet, now she is pretty sure she is done. She loves being able to spend lots of time with him and she just never wanted to have a bundle of children. I, on the other hand, want a zoo of them, but I'm almost positive that I'm the minority. Don't ever feel bad for only wanting one or two. It's your life! Live it how you want. If others want children...they can have them! :)
ReplyDeleteoh Louise, I would love a few more 'extreme' posts from you ;) I really enjoyed reading this and I couldn't agree more! I hate it that people think it's okay to ask such questions. (there are some more of those questions like 'Have you gained weight?' or 'Is that a huge pimple in your face?' haha.) honestly, it's none of their business. most people don't mean to be rude but still, that topic is actually not small talk but instead quite private. and no one should feel obligated to justifiy himself for not popping out babies one after another. I'm 26 now, engaged to a wonderful man and people have been asking for some time now.. not only asking the question but also suggesting we shouldn't wait for much longer. and when I tell them that we may not be having kinds at all they're incredulous or even upset.. and then they start to talk about how kids are the greatest gift. it's not that I don't like kids, I actually love babies and kids, but that doesn't mean I want to have one myself - and I certainly don't want to deliver one. there are many reasons to have kids, but there are also many reasons to not have them, only people don't seem to consider the latter.. I have the feeling that the majority of people is just like 'Oh, babies are so cute! Let's have one!'
ReplyDeleteThanks Louise! It's such a good reminder to think about questions before you ask them! my older sister got married almost 2 years ago now and people are often asking me about when they will have children, I always feel weird, like I am expected to know, but Its such a personal thing it would be nice if people could respect a bit of privacy :)
ReplyDeleteMy husband was planning on filing for divorce, he’d left me for a younger woman, typical story, but three months on, your spell led him to come back to me and put ideas of divorce behind us thanks Esango priest. You can also get your ex back through Esango priest contact him via his email: esangopriest@hotmail.com
ReplyDeleteI adore you and this post. My husband and I have been married for 3 years and have very little interest in becoming parents any time soon. People still think that they have the right to ask me constantly when I am having children. *sigh*
ReplyDeletebrerogers.blogspot.com